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  1. MonoVCPHG

    life long commitment

    You don't seem to understand the concept of true monogamy from the stand point of a truly monogamous person. If a person is truly monogamous then they don't need the "will" to do these things..it just happens naturally and unconciously. That being said I don't automatically tie life long...
  2. MonoVCPHG

    Pregnant girlfriend. WTF now?

    Do you have a "retarded son," or are you speaking without the emotional experience of people who do?
  3. MonoVCPHG

    A difficult decision to make

    I'd say you've answered your own question here. Unless you want to live like a caged animal I suggest you find someone who wants the same type of open relationship you do before you get in too deep. You'll be saving yourself, and her, a lot of grief. My suggestion: Lay it on the line now and...
  4. MonoVCPHG

    New, want it to work, but struggling at times

    I've known a lot of sailors who had the same situation in my 20+ years of military service. I'm holding back on what I think to some degree, my friend. I know you love your wife. Your heart is infinitely bigger than mine. Take care. Good luck with this journey.
  5. MonoVCPHG

    UPDATE: for those following "Will you be my husband's girlfriend"

    patience and pacing :) Let's be honest here people. We have seen lots people floating on a cloud of NRE rush into this very situation....most have failed. Things happen behind the scenes of the forum and when they are negative, they are often not shared. One step at a time my friend, slow...
  6. MonoVCPHG

    Helping primary feel "primary"

    I don't get it either. You've got more experience than most on here ::confused:
  7. MonoVCPHG

    Helping primary feel "primary"

    I just wanted to chime in and say congrats on keeping things together for 10 years as a "secondary"! That is a mile stone most poly relationships don't hit.
  8. MonoVCPHG

    This is a lot of work. (TP's story, when she feels like updating)

    Very cool update TP. Indigo is a gem and Mr A seems like a rare find as well. Keep them secret, keep them safe :)
  9. MonoVCPHG

    This is a lot of work. (TP's story, when she feels like updating)

    I experienced the same thing although I'm in a separate suite. The excitement of painting and shaping a new space overode any other feelings. I think that uneventful feeling is much better than some reality blurring NRE.
  10. MonoVCPHG

    BDSM discussion

    Agreed.
  11. MonoVCPHG

    BDSM discussion

    There might be a time when those emotions are overcome, but that is not expected, honestly. I think I would still enjoy the flogging because I have always been involved with activities involving getting hit. The way Redpepper uses a flog definitely fills that need. The thumping of a heavy flog...
  12. MonoVCPHG

    BDSM discussion

    That is cool! I don't get that, which probably explains why I have a hard time watching some of the more sharp pinching forms of BDSM. I enjoy heavy impact, but can't even watch people getting their nipples pinched LOL!
  13. MonoVCPHG

    BDSM discussion

    Getting a good flogging has nothing to do with sex for me. It has everything to do with a therapeutic release. I don't find pain physically exciting. I find it emotionally healing. It's a way to deal with my feelings of guilt from past mistakes because I don't have another outlet. That's not to...
  14. MonoVCPHG

    Polyamory and Christianity

    As a young boy I worked for the Catholic church for numerous years. I can honestly say that no preist ever aproached me for sex and I spent a lot of alone time with them. That being said, I do have a cousin who committed suicide at 14 and it was suspected that something was happening to him at...
  15. MonoVCPHG

    Redpepper's journey

    Nahhh. All good fun, Lilo! XOXOXXO I love you. :) You made his year, I think. ;)
  16. MonoVCPHG

    Redpepper's journey

    It was a great night, and fun seeing how our friend was a puddle of shyness after those photos. I think you may have read too much into the situation, from my point of view. It actually wasn't a big deal at all. I just wanted to socialize with other people. LOL I admit, if he was allowed to kiss...
  17. MonoVCPHG

    I can live with being an empath :)

    I can live with being an empath :)
  18. MonoVCPHG

    New and very torn.

    It wouldn't be worth it for me. Not if their relationship is that bad. You'ld be bringing a lot of negative energy into your own life. Your in a tough situation for sure.
  19. MonoVCPHG

    New and very torn.

    Normally I would say keep your distance...but not considering she has a long term second relationship. I'm probably givning you shitty advice but maybe you are just what she needs to push past her own hypocracy?? Where is the baance in her inability to give her husband what he has apparently...
  20. MonoVCPHG

    Empath.....hmmm. I've always considered myself below average for empathy but I definitely seem...

    Empath.....hmmm. I've always considered myself below average for empathy but I definitely seem to be able to read people and feel energy. My down time is very focused on connecting with myself and being away from the energy of other people...And I often engage in activity that pulls all my...
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