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Slightly different perspective here... as a person with huge control issues and a ton of anxiety, and as a person who stresses out over even the most minor of things.... poly is definitely a big challenge for me. However. Personally I would not ask any of my partners for a closed relationship...

I was so happy to see a blog update from you but then read with growing astonishment about all the hardship you had to endure the past years... But like MeeraReed said, THEN I was astonished about the way you write about it, with such strength and positivity. When I first joined this forum...

Just a thought, but if that is ALL you ate that day, it doesn't really seem like enough to me, especially if you went to a strenuous Pilates class... as for me: after one month of no alcohol and a very healthy diet I lost a couple of pounds and felt really fit and healthy, then went on a 3...

Just a thought experiment, Zephyra... what would happen if your BF's new partner turned out to be just as adventurous as you? What if she wants to climb Everest and roam the world with him? What if he wants to do those things with her, too? Would you 'allow' that? I am just putting this out...

I have tons of control issues. To deal with it, one of the things I do is explore buddhism - because I found that telling myself the need for control is stupid and needs to be eradicated, did not help much. I especially love Tara Brach's books and videos because she is not 'just'a buddhist but...

this, so much this..... I lve in a city where a new brewery seems to open every month!.. so many lovely beers to try...

I have a special email address that does not have any resemblance to my real name. I prefer to chat on the dating site, but if that is not feasible for any reason, I take it to this other email address. I never EVER give my 'real' email address (which has my name in it) or phone number or my...

I am tall and curvy, and people never believe me when I tell them how much I weigh. My bodyshape definitely helps to distribute the fat better! That said, I like my big boobs and butt, but I don't like my flabby tummy so much. For me what really works is a) to always make sure I have a fridge...

wanted to add some more things as I started thinking about this... I know nothing about sports and excercise, so will keep my mouth shut about that. But I do know a LOT about food, have worked in the food industry. Maybe this makes it easier for me to eat healthy, I don't know, anyway, some...

It's very interesting to me that no one who has posted on this thread seems to think that wanting live contact after 6 days is a sign of unhealthy insecurities. I think I am so used to looking at myself as someone with anxiety issues, that I spend a lot of time holding this stuff in, out of fear...

Great thread, thanks for starting it Reverie! I haven't been skinny since my early twenties. For most of my thirties I was at a steady weight. But after turning forty (and beginning a poly life :) ) I've gained about 10 pounds that I would love to lose. It's a miracle that I haven't gained...

A set date night is not going to happen - it's just something that really doesn't work for both our situations. It's interesting how these 'ticking clocks' start ticking at very different intervals for different people! I would not want to spend 4 nights a week with him and I don't need live...

Nonmonogamy has this tendency to shine a big bright spotlight on things that are not working or functioning very well, either in relationships or in the individuals who are in those relationships. For me, the biggest issue that keeps popping up is my insecurities, my need for reassurance and...

the thing that puzzles me the most is that the BF apparrently is ok with not having any sex at all? Not with his wife and not with yours? I fail to see what he is doing wrong here, other than not accommodating you in taking the test. It's a nuisance for sure but if he is not having sex with...

Hi LoveBunny, I an relate to a lot of what you wrote in your first post. For me, this is what works: If I start feeling really insecure about the relationship it is usually accompanied by feelings of worthlessness (2 factors: I'm not good enough anyway, he'll tire of me - and: I'm so stupid...

There've been some anxious thought sand worries, but nothing as bad as a couple of months ago. Fingers crossed that this positive trend will continue. I spent half my christmas with Ren and half of it with Bo. Both days were really great. Reconnecting, lots of good talks, and great food. They...

YES that is all so true. Thank you for reminding me. There is no certainty. Hi, I am Cleo, desperately looking for certainty.

Maybe my whole conundrum about this isn't so much about wether or not I should date the poly-curious, but about wether or not I could be able to handle a more casual relationship besides the 2 serious ones I already have? I have had this only once in my life, a kind of FWB type connection with...

I am not very good at gauging the stress load I am up for, that's true. I tend to think of new relationships as something that will bring joy, connection, fun, affection. I tend to forget that because I fall for people pretty quickly, new connections are also a pitfall that often bring...

So true that it's multiple love that is hard for people to get. I was telling some friends about the fact that I am spending part of Christmas with my BF, and I got some weird looks and I know it's because (even after I've been seeing him for well over a year) they still think that he is just a...