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Hello, Cindie. I found my old account. My name is Ghia. I am the Assistant Editor at Quail Bell Magazine. I recall loving your posts when I used to post here. It'll be a regular thing. I hope that my advice column can be even as half as good as GalaGirl's responses! Some health issues and the...

And that's totally fine. It's just that OP's lover has a strained relationship with this person and would feel very hurt. Like I said, I wouldn't be happy about it and I'm a relationship anarchist. Once again, there are so many kraken in the sea. Why pick the ones that'll wreak havoc in your...

THIS. I see stuff like this happen all of the time, especially with monogamous people dating their previous partner's best friend. Is it just me or do most people who do this seem not to have a lot of options? Don't get me wrong; I'm going to be the maid of honor for a couple like this next year...

I was going to say what you just said. A MAJOR red flag that is commonplace in all of the dysfunctional poly relationships that I've seen involve one-sided privilege and expectations. This is doubly the case when the person whom INITIATES the polyamorous relationship starts getting possessive...

Here's another good example that I just thought of: I've noticed that in the United States - notably, among my peers (people in their late teens to early/mid twenties and beyond) - people get squeamish about developing emotionally intimate connection with individuals who aren't "exclusive" with...

You're lucky to have met others who live by Relationship Anarchy because I've only met one other person who knew what it was without me telling them. And yes, you are correct that some people use it as an excuse disregard the desires and boundaries of others. Relationship Anarchy is about...

!!!!!!! This is one of the reasons why I love this forum so much: I can actually come here with questions and get answers that I didn't hear or consider before. I wouldn't say I'm "aloof" because I'm extremely outgoing and sociable. I'm very friendly and engaging. However, I just don't feel...

This isn't something that I know firsthand, but something I've repeatedly heard over and over. I'm trying to find the actual internet source where I heard this, but I heard a rather outspoken poly-activist got her children taken away solely on the basis of her being polyamorous. Obviously, I...

I realize that this isn't poly-specific, but this forum has given me many valuable insights and I was wondering if you could help me with this. I was always aware that some "game" was being played by everyone and have been slightly aware of it, but upon learning about The Principle of Least...

I should also note that I'm not the kind of person whom wants something/someone specifically because I can't have it. When I desire someone or something, I desire it because I actually want it. I hate how people play "games" and stuff because I'm always honest and open, but although I pull it...

Hi, everyone! I haven't posted here in a while. I've been encountering a problem and it's actually been getting to me lately. Background: I have just begun my mid-twenties. I am a relationship anarchist. I have what been dating someone whom everyone would consider to be my "primary"...

I just let love be love. My "primary" relationship is such because the quality of our relationship and his importance in my life has situated itself in the "primary" category. How we/I might feel about other people is how we feel about them. Although I let him do what he wants, I know that the...

^^Exactly. Getting married and having children is a huge responsibility which requires lifelong commitment. Some people, poly and monogamous, do it successfully and others don't. While this forum doesn't condone her cheating, it also doesn't condone your misunderstanding or refusal to accept...

I'm ashamed to admit that it's always turned me on... I'm not materialistic. With that said, I've noticed that boys didn't treat me well and didn't go the "extra mile" like they did with other girls. I've come to remain aware of normative red flags and conduct. From what I've noticed, when a guy...

Yes, I/we did try. They actually kept changing the amounts until they called once and my dad exploded on the phone because, well, they couldn't keep switching it up like that. We tried to get deferment and such, but it didn't work out. That is why this lack of a lucrative income is very...

Hi, everyone! Please help me with this. Next month, I'll have been with my partner for nine years. We have a very open relationship and I've hooked him up with many women in the past. Honestly, I hook him up quite actively. I enjoy it when others get to enjoy him because there is only one of...

Meh They're sort of like the Manic Pixie Dream Girls of polyamory. As a young bisexual female who is somewhat attractive, I still feel as though the Unicorn ideal is unattainable. I might be disease free, but I'm down with the other D, so long as they don't involve needles. I also feel...

Awwww... I'm very sorry that you are in a difficult place right now. Unfortunately, there's no other way to handle this situation other than with candid communication. It'd probably be a good idea to sit down and express your feelings in a way that doesn't seem like presenting an ultimatum or...

My experience has always been similar. As a whole, Pagans tend to be very open-minded, especially since our mainstream culture openly demonizes us. I've never, ever met a Pagan who had any qualms with polyamory or any kind of orientation, other than it not being fit for them. From what I can...

Oh, poor darling... I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I really despise how people refuse to accept the reality that men are abused too and men are often subject to further torture by being humiliated or otherwise degraded by law enforcement and other people who should be...