Search results

  1. BonzaiBlitz

    Spousal Veto and Self-Harm

    So Bloom has been dating Techie for about five months. He's also dating Windy. About two months ago, he went from having a full-time job and a nice house to being unemployed and homeless, almost overnight. Since then, Bloom and I have let him stay over on frequent occasion (no big deal), and...
  2. BonzaiBlitz

    Knowing Intellectually vs. Really Feeling

    WHOA THIS THREAD BLEW UP. Thanks for the input, everyone. UPDATE: I'm doing much better now, overall. I struggled with the idea of competing for my wife's attention, and realized that we hadn't really needed to actively work on our relationship in years. Not that either of us have been...
  3. BonzaiBlitz

    Knowing Intellectually vs. Really Feeling

    Since my last thread, I've been in an intermittent state of deep introspection, trying to identify my feelings and maybe start to process them along the way. Short version: I'm learning the difference between understanding a concept intellectually and experiencing it the hard way. For example...
  4. BonzaiBlitz

    First Meeting With a Real Meta - Thoughts

    Thanks for the feedback. According to Bloom, a combination of a couple of these. Her overall goal is to be as OUT regarding polyamory as possible, e.g. to be able to walk into a regular (non-poly-support group) party and introduce her husband and boyfriend to the hosts like it's no big deal...
  5. BonzaiBlitz

    First Meeting With a Real Meta - Thoughts

    My wife and I have now been operating in an open marriage for about 20 months, and tonight I met what I can convincingly call my first meta. AKA, the first person to whom Bloom has developed a romantic/emotional attachment (or at least has voiced an attachment regarding) since we opened up. We...
  6. BonzaiBlitz

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    Why: I was married to Bloom for nearly a decade without knowing she wanted to try BDSM. We opened up the marriage so she could find a dedicated dom instead of pressuring me to do stuff I wasn't into, and so that I could maybe finally come out of the closet in a few areas. How: We started...
  7. BonzaiBlitz

    What are you drinking right now?

    This MAGIC IN A BOTTLE.
  8. BonzaiBlitz

    What are you drinking right now?

    Sweet tea at the moment. Later, Franziskaner Hefeweisse with dinner, and a healthy dose of moscato d'asti while watching Deadpool afterwards.
  9. BonzaiBlitz

    Poly in the Military

    This has been on my mind today, and I thought it could make a good discussion here. DISCLAIMER: All of the experiences I've been partied to on this subject have been WIVES of deployed HUSBANDS, so that obviously influences my thoughts on this topic. Feel free to provide insight into the...
  10. BonzaiBlitz

    Primaries and Secondaries

    Be careful of getting twisted up in the semantics. She may see him as her primary because she doesn't have any other relationships, or devotes the most time to her relationship with him. What does your partner think of being referred to as his girlfriend's primary?
  11. BonzaiBlitz

    Finding a secondary

    It's great that you have achieved this level of stability in your relationship. However, my experience with poly thus far is that its foundational idea is "No one way is THE way," apart from abusive, manipulative, or nonconsensual nonmonogamy. My identity as a person is based in my marriage...
  12. BonzaiBlitz

    What are you listening to now?

    The Seatbelts - Yoko Kanno piano solo
  13. BonzaiBlitz

    Annoyance with okcupid

    Which is why you should be COMING OUT, not hiding your face. Determine if hiding your face (and thus bringing unnecessary baggage to any new prospective partners) is worth whatever would be put at risk by coming out.
  14. BonzaiBlitz

    Annoyance with okcupid

    While I agree that OKC is frustrating on many levels, this question needs to be answered before you continue. If you can't be out and proud, whether as poly or as bi, you need to reevaluate both, as well as what is keeping you from being so. Additionally, who are you afraid of running into...
  15. BonzaiBlitz

    Beer

    Like what? When I think of "sweet stuff," I think moscato d'asti. Of course, "cinnamon" equals "Fireball" to me.
  16. BonzaiBlitz

    Beer

    Beer! Yes, this thread is inspired by the Homebrewing thread. BEER. Do you? Favorite type? Favorite brand(s)? Favored brewing countries? I'm a wheat beer/weissbier fanatic. The holy trinity: The Father The Son The Holy Spirit (get it?) In case you hadn't noticed, my favored brands...
  17. BonzaiBlitz

    Poly and BDSM

    This is true, but I just feel like an outsider when I go to an event and don't actually scene. Especially since the two dungeons around here use fairly small facilities, and I'm not much into voyeurism, so I feel like I'm wasting my time and their space. True, but it's frustrating when it...
  18. BonzaiBlitz

    Poly and BDSM

    Thanks for the input, everyone. I've read and discussed many aspects of kink with the friends we've made since joining the community, but because the events are mostly for sadists/masochists to show off, or for the odd fire master to really let loose, it really creates a sense of an...
  19. BonzaiBlitz

    Poly and BDSM

    This is something that has been growing on my mind lately. Bloom and I first decided to open up our monogamy because she had always been interested in BDSM, and felt we had achieved a degree of stability in our relationship that we could branch out without our primary relationship being in...
  20. BonzaiBlitz

    On choosing not to have children.

    Between our eight nieces and nephews, and Bloom being an elementary teacher, AND both of us being raised as only-children...no. This just keeps getting reinforced, especially as we're both worn down by work more and more, and need home to be a safe space over which we hold complete control...
Back
Top