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Thank you for all this. I can feel the intention and respect/care behind your words and all of it is really helpful. You nailed it on the fight or flight response in my body and my mind following with the stories. And like, I'm enlightened enough to know this is exactly what is happening, but...

Oh, this all sounds very hard and triggering, if I'm being honest. I also own that these feelings are real, and I am letting myself have them. BUT part of me also is ready to label myself as "childish." I'm working on the self-love and the somatic approach to triggers, which is to LET THE...

How long did it take you to get to compersion for your partners on your poly journies? Was it always there? Is it different each time? Any insights on say, experience, time, and compersion in general?? As I'm moving through what has become on ONGOING relationship for my husband (his side...

SAME. Leo to my very core. My husband forever tells me I'm a cat. There are 2 sag men in my house and several sag men in my life and we've always connected and understood one another, but especially when that sag is mature and has made it through his sort of stupid boy phase. Otherwise I think...

Girl. I am WITH you. Similar situation in my life-- I have a casual sex partner I've been seeing for 3 years. It started out very heavy and has trickled to now seeing him a couple times a year, if we are lucky, and he's the closest of all my long-term casual boyfriends. But he prioritizes me NOT...

So I typically don't meet before getting a phone number and full name and I always google a person. I don't always find stuff out, but I often do, and for the most part it has been helpful. I share my location with at least 2 people all the time and always tell both of these people where I'm...

It comes and goes in waves for both of us. It does. I just tend to be the more high maintenance partner all the time. And I don’t blame that on my femininity. It’s something else. I rarely apologize for this self that has long been taking up way too much space. Haha. Sometimes it manifests in...

This is so freakishly helpful and is making me cry and feel deeply loved. By the way.

We had it. We did. But our story is a weird one. We met in an intense job setting, a wilderness camp for juvenile delinquents, where we lived with the kids we were counseling and teaching. Outside. In the woods. He was my trainer and then he left the company. We dated 2 days and 3 nights a week...

There's pretty strong energy leading me in this direction. Can I do it and be okay with my husband PLUS his girlfriend? That is the question I have for myself, haha. It changes every day. Like, how long does it take for the system to reset when we are purging old habits and dopamine addictions...

It feels like it would help to give you his side of things because we really are super open with all this shit. (I texting him just now. Confessed I've been hit by that unexpected train of negative emotions and nothing feels good or right and I'm just like, nauseated and sad and feel like we are...

How do you do it? No, but like, really? I confess I've never felt this kind of envy or FOMO or literally the entire list of emotions that come with it from every single article Kevin has shared (I read them all) to this degree ever in my life. I'm not normally an insecure person. But fuck me...

It’s also a new moon. So enjoy the rest. Give up and give in for a few days. Your intuition is refreshing and you have a kindred spirit in me. I love introspection in light of my cycle and the moon. I love watching the energetic shift and breathing through things that are necessarily and...

I hope you are in a headspace to hear this. 3 months is still a very very new relationship. Your big feelings are derived mostly from that dopamine monster we love, called NRE. Very little makes sense rationally when we are steeped in NRE - feelings are amplified on all sides (both the positive...

Oooooh-- so, not from my primary, but a definite issue with MANY of my paramours-- it *is* partially an age thing. It is also an environmental thing: How many drinks has he had? How tired is he? How much stress on the very day of your connection? What has he been eating? How are his workouts...

Asheville is super cool. Austin is one of my favorite places in Texas. (I actually went to Baylor for undergrad, hah!) Savannah is a fun party town. I hear similar things about Charleston, but on a date last night with a musician, I was told that Charleston is something like 70% FEMALE (weird?)...

There are several apps that are geared toward non-monogamous relationships and connections. Feeld. Threefun. Pure. Of course take all of them with both an open-mind and a high level of self-protection, because like every dating app, the relative anonymity and sheer amount of users make them a...

I'll see your "small town" and I'll raise you "evangelical south of the mason dixon line" christian town. My state voted for Trump. TWICE. And, one reason we moved to the city where we now populate the still very safe and very convenient suburbs is because it is small enough for traffic not to...

So is it safe to say that things are still strong with you and SHAY? It sounds like you got real vulnerable with what felt like a small pod of important people and suddenly one or more them broke trust with you and legitimately hurt you. And actually it kind of doesn't matter the details. That...

Okay, I might be an outsider voice here, but I'm a serial-flirt and I've turned my social awkwardness from childhood into something I believe is now pretty charming. So different tack: first, what was the event? Second, if you see them again and you decide they are cool and likeable and you'd...