Hullo there, and welcome to the forum!
I understand from furher reading onthis forum that the type of realtionship we seek is not generally respected, that too may be for good reason...
Triad relationships as such I think are even more respected when they work, because it's so incredibly hard and unlikely. Just like there's enormous respect for poly/mono live-in vees some folks have in here, or even life-long monogamous bonds, because they too beat the odds.
There is disrespect or more like eye-rolling for folks who are unwilling to compromise on their fantasy of finding their unicorn despite reading about dozens of experiences where people have been disappointed, and insisting that no individual connections should ever happen as to not distract them from their common goal (obviously not your case). Then there are folks who treat unicorns more like their possessions, to be discarded at will, or wayward children than real, feeling adults, who IMHO deserve all the disrespect they can get.
As to your past history with women, and how you thought your potential unicorns might be more attracted to you than your husband - there's the huge difference of now being part of a male-female couple who are looking for a poly-fi triad relationship with an unattached bi woman. That limits your dating pool something fierce. There simply are not enough of women fitting that description out there for the chances of her clicking with both of you at the same time in the same way to be very high.
Its so funny, im not jealous of them at all, just really sad to not be liked, when i think im very likable
Poor babby, you are liked! I was bummed when I felt Windflower pulling away from me. But it was not that she didn't like me as a person, she just didn't have a romantic attraction to me anymore. Hell, she allows me to get close to her kids and share aspects of her everyday family life, hubbie included, with her! She likes me a great deal, the disappointment was originally just that she didn't want a romantic relationship with me.
...part of me wonders if it wouldnt be better for dh to initiate to converstaion with her, so if she is not into me she may be able to tell him without the fear of hurting me, does anyone have a opinions on that. Perhaps from personal experience...
Maybe-ish. I originally texted Moonlightrunner about how I thought things were not working out with Windy, and he replied that yeah, she had talked about that to him. I also texted her right after, because I felt like such a coward for not going to her directly, but there was a lot of fear of rejection on my side going on. It felt better to hear it from a third party, and then just to get a confimation from the horse's mouth.
