Hi everyone
Just looking for external views as still new to poly..
My partner and I are very close, we are planning on living together in the next few weeks...
We have boundaries and discuss any issues so communication is key with us
She has other partners that I've met and I was at first hesitating but after we all got on and I felt nice and safe with everyone.
The issue I need advice on is this, I am new to this all so still have some boundaries, like I don't like one night stands as I feel there unsafe so that isn't a thing.
Last week we had a small argument, as I had done allot over the last few weeks and felt slightly unappreciated, the next day discussing our relationship she said she feels that is she isnt as free as she once was, I mean we are in a quite a committed relationship with me being th anchore or primary and fluid parnter, that she has to consider how things effect me instead off being a free to do what she wants so to speak..
She told me a married guy Mike who is poly and a friend with benefits in the past, whom she hadn't seen in ages had been in contact and wanted to met up next week, which could lead to her being back at his, I explained to her I wasn't to ready for that at this point, as it was a new person to the equation I hadn't heard about them or met then before and we just had allot going on the last 2mths through Xmas new year birthdays new social situations and metting her partners etc, so said I'm OK but can you do it in a few weeks once we are established abit more security and I'm OK with it all.. she was happy to do so.
It was her brothers day Saturday night, all going out to a town near by, I couldnt make it due to work, she sent me messages till 10pm said she missed me loves me wishes I was there and me replying the same... then round after 10 communication stopped so I was like ah she out enjoying her night texted her later on saying I was off to bed hope she was having fun and could she text at the end off the night so I wake up early for work so i know she's home safe and not very badly drunk or sick or anything lol
The next day, I asked about the night, chatted all day but felt anxious? I asked if anything happened with anyone? She told me that she had told Mike she was going out that night to the town he lives in and he texted to say he was heading back from being out in a other town after a few day drinks too. So he came and met her.
They then kissed a few times, but as others were around nothing else, I asked if she would have gone home with him, she said possibly but maybe not as it might have effect me? So she's sees nothing wrong with it all.
I don't think I'm jealious about it, it's more the fact I'm feel erm annoyed? Or upset? Maybe cheated on? As I asked if she could met this person abit later when I was more secure, instead she told him she was out arranged to met and hooked up with him and kinda ignored me?
Am jealous? Am I wrong? To feel upset about it, as she says there was nothing wrong with it she done nothing wrong, I feel maybe if I was told prior I might have been OK or prepared?
Any advice would help please?
Just looking for external views as still new to poly..
My partner and I are very close, we are planning on living together in the next few weeks...
We have boundaries and discuss any issues so communication is key with us
She has other partners that I've met and I was at first hesitating but after we all got on and I felt nice and safe with everyone.
The issue I need advice on is this, I am new to this all so still have some boundaries, like I don't like one night stands as I feel there unsafe so that isn't a thing.
Last week we had a small argument, as I had done allot over the last few weeks and felt slightly unappreciated, the next day discussing our relationship she said she feels that is she isnt as free as she once was, I mean we are in a quite a committed relationship with me being th anchore or primary and fluid parnter, that she has to consider how things effect me instead off being a free to do what she wants so to speak..
She told me a married guy Mike who is poly and a friend with benefits in the past, whom she hadn't seen in ages had been in contact and wanted to met up next week, which could lead to her being back at his, I explained to her I wasn't to ready for that at this point, as it was a new person to the equation I hadn't heard about them or met then before and we just had allot going on the last 2mths through Xmas new year birthdays new social situations and metting her partners etc, so said I'm OK but can you do it in a few weeks once we are established abit more security and I'm OK with it all.. she was happy to do so.
It was her brothers day Saturday night, all going out to a town near by, I couldnt make it due to work, she sent me messages till 10pm said she missed me loves me wishes I was there and me replying the same... then round after 10 communication stopped so I was like ah she out enjoying her night texted her later on saying I was off to bed hope she was having fun and could she text at the end off the night so I wake up early for work so i know she's home safe and not very badly drunk or sick or anything lol
The next day, I asked about the night, chatted all day but felt anxious? I asked if anything happened with anyone? She told me that she had told Mike she was going out that night to the town he lives in and he texted to say he was heading back from being out in a other town after a few day drinks too. So he came and met her.
They then kissed a few times, but as others were around nothing else, I asked if she would have gone home with him, she said possibly but maybe not as it might have effect me? So she's sees nothing wrong with it all.
I don't think I'm jealious about it, it's more the fact I'm feel erm annoyed? Or upset? Maybe cheated on? As I asked if she could met this person abit later when I was more secure, instead she told him she was out arranged to met and hooked up with him and kinda ignored me?
Am jealous? Am I wrong? To feel upset about it, as she says there was nothing wrong with it she done nothing wrong, I feel maybe if I was told prior I might have been OK or prepared?
Any advice would help please?