Advice please - threesomes.

[guyfromnz]

Hi guys,

I have had a situation occur and I need some better understanding/advice on how to react and feel.

So, over the weekend my partner (female) and I (male) had a threesome with another guy who we also had a threesome with a month ago.
Which we have a couple of rules but our main one is, we both are present and always play together, in the same room. Not alone.

I noticed during the threesome it was mainly the two of them going for it and I wasn't getting much of a say or involvement. (which does not bother me, I enjoy watching)

The part that bothers me is, once we had finished we all crashed out on the same bed.
I woke up about 30 minutes later to the sound of my wife moaning, so I got up and got a drink came back and looked her in the eyes with the "what the f are you doing look" and left again and went to the couch. (which is in earshot of the bedroom)
I then hear her tell the other guy "oh, I think he's angry" which he replied "do you want to go and talk to him make sure he is OK"
What also bothers me even more is she said no and decided to stay there and have sex with the other guy.

About 30 minutes go by and I need to go to the bathroom, so I walk past the room and see them both asleep in each other's arms.

Unsure how to handle or feel about the whole situation, with the rule of playing together, I feel betrayed in some sense.

Any advice please?

 

[kdt26417]

Hello guyfromnz,

It is not unusual for feelings to get hurt in a threesome, in your case you had a rule that you would always play together, your partner and the other guy broke that rule, it is quite understandable that you would feel betrayed. What you have to figure out, is whether you can forgive them for doing that. If yes, then you should consider changing the rule. Something more keepable, as NRE happens and it is tempting to break the rule that you currently have. They should have brought that up, rather than breaking the rule that you have. That they agreed to. Their choice of actions was not honorable. You have to decide whether that makes it a deal breaker for you.

Regards,
Kevin T.

 

[Magdlyn]

This is pretty common in group sex of any kind. Some people will get exhausted and fall asleep. Others will rest and then be ready for round 2 or 3 or whatever.

Your partner and friend also have the added fuel of NRE (new relationship energy), which is highly hormonally stimulating.

It's not realistic in threeway or threesome configurations to have the established couple agree to only play as a threesome. I've been in numerous threesomes and foursomes that broke down into duos as some point, especially if you're all together for several hours or overnight.