Advice please!

eleoo

New member
Hey everyone
Curious to what to do in this situation.
My partner and I (both female) have recently been broken off with by a partner (male)
Our communication together was fantastic and the three of us were happy but M didn’t really know if the dynamic would be something that would work for him long term.
F and I completely understood and respected his decision. We were both gutted it had to end but we want the best for him and remaining friends is something very important to us.
Two weeks has passed and M has contacted us saying he’s not sure if he’s made the right decision breaking it off with us and his head is a mess about it all.
F has decided to give him space but I’m very much someone who wants to check in on people everyday if I know they’re having a bad time.
I just want to know what you guys think would be the right way to deal with it and best way to approach communication wise? He is aware of how we feel and that we are here to support him whatever he decides. Give him space or just continue chatting as if everything’s okay?
 
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GalaGirl

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear about the break up.

If he ended things because he isn't sure he can do this long term? Him feeling lonely or weird 2 weeks after the break up is not a reason to get back together. He needs times to heal and get back on his feet first. Not rush back to something that ultimately is not a good fit for him just because it is familiar or because a break up feels yucky.

I just want to know what you guys think would be the right way to deal with it and best way to approach communication wise? He is aware of how we feel and that we are here to support him whatever he decides. Give him space or just continue chatting as if everything’s okay?

Whatever your other partner F picked? I think that's something only you can answer for yourself. Each one of you needs time to heal from the break up.

I suggest you do your soul searching and decide how you want to be post break up. Whether you want to have some more time and space. Or if you want to chat with your ex M this soon.

Some people give it at least 30 days after a break up before they start trying to be exes and friends. To have some healing time and some closure first before trying something new.

Some people just want to be exes and not try to be friends after.

Galagirl
 
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FallenAngelina

Well-known member
I’m very much someone who wants to check in on people everyday if I know they’re having a bad time.
This is a beautiful, loving thing if the person wants to be checked on. Not a good thing if your checking comes from insecurity and fear. Terrible if the person does not want to be checked up on. Does he want to be checked on by you?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hello eleoo,

My advice would be to ask M for at least a month of no contact before making any decisions about getting back together with him (or about continuing a platonic friendship with him). He was sure enough he wanted to break up to do it initially. That in my mind is good reason to give the separation at least a month. So I guess what I am saying, is, that my vote is to give him space.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 

Marcus

Well-known member
F has decided to give him space but I’m very much someone who wants to check in on people everyday if I know they’re having a bad time.

You are individuals who have different ideas on how to approach a situation. Is there a reason that you can't both handle the situation in your own way? She can give him space, and you can check in on him and be more connected?

Am I understanding the context of your question correctly?
 
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