Those are excellent points, guys, thank you very much. I'll take the time to get much more specific, and the whole quoting thing confuses me, most of the time, so I'll try to respond to each thingie....
Our "relationship" started out like this: she was someone Husband and I played with on a regular basis. Her presence became more frequent, each weekend, then Sunday nights, too, etc. It wasn't just about sex anymore. We were developing a really tight bond. The three of us. She and I are in love, and she and Husband have a very special relationship, that is close, no doubt. It is basically a V, but it has evolved into much more than it was when we began, 18 months ago. They hardly knew each other, and now they are very good friends- I cannot predict the future, so I cannot comment.
So, I am out to one sister, not the other, or my mom & stepdad. If anyone of them were to ask, I would not lie to them. I do not know that I am ready yet, so that's why I have not come out to them. My dad pretty much has figured things out, and she's out to her parents, who used to be in a triad. Her mom is awesome, her dad has disowned her. Her only sibling, a brother, passed away. We are also out to one of Husband's brothers, and his wife and two kids.
Our children are young, 5 and 2, and husband and I don't talk about our intimate time, so we don't discuss the trio with them-yet. In the future, as they learn about relationships, sex, etc., they will learn about us. Right now, we feel that it's too soon to explain why Mom and Dad have Aunt A sleeping in the bed with us.
Gf is with us in the home husband and I acquired together, we all call it Home 1, about 50% of the time. She recently acquired an apartment of her own, downtown, we call it Home 2. We share keys, and she and I share many domestic chores, at each residence.
Since Husband and I do have two children, our ability to be with her is not as frequent as her ability to be with us, and we all collectively agree that we enjoy time together, so we do spend much of the time together, at Home 1. I put in a real effort to spend very regular time with her, in her home, in her world, at Home 2. We just spent the day canvassing downtown, checking out all the little shops, together.
I am very expressive to her about wanting her to feel comfortable, and valued. I suppose it's true, I cannot offer her safety, but like Kevin said, no relationship is fail safe, and I will add that it is regardless of a marriage certificate.
We are not in turmoil right now, we are trying to come to an understanding about one another. I want to know what she wants, and needs, and what her worries and concerns are. All that stuff matters tremendously to me. I am also concerned for Husband's needs. The needs of my children, and also, my own. Lots of moving parts- but, I can honestly say, I love this woman, and she loves me. I love this man, and he, me. They love each other, and everyone seems happy with where things are at. We're going to make a genuine effort to do the right thing. That's where all the advice asking comes in. I will discuss with her all the topics each of you brought up, when we do sit down to converse. I appreciate everything all of you have pointed out.
Our "relationship" started out like this: she was someone Husband and I played with on a regular basis. Her presence became more frequent, each weekend, then Sunday nights, too, etc. It wasn't just about sex anymore. We were developing a really tight bond. The three of us. She and I are in love, and she and Husband have a very special relationship, that is close, no doubt. It is basically a V, but it has evolved into much more than it was when we began, 18 months ago. They hardly knew each other, and now they are very good friends- I cannot predict the future, so I cannot comment.
So, I am out to one sister, not the other, or my mom & stepdad. If anyone of them were to ask, I would not lie to them. I do not know that I am ready yet, so that's why I have not come out to them. My dad pretty much has figured things out, and she's out to her parents, who used to be in a triad. Her mom is awesome, her dad has disowned her. Her only sibling, a brother, passed away. We are also out to one of Husband's brothers, and his wife and two kids.
Our children are young, 5 and 2, and husband and I don't talk about our intimate time, so we don't discuss the trio with them-yet. In the future, as they learn about relationships, sex, etc., they will learn about us. Right now, we feel that it's too soon to explain why Mom and Dad have Aunt A sleeping in the bed with us.
Gf is with us in the home husband and I acquired together, we all call it Home 1, about 50% of the time. She recently acquired an apartment of her own, downtown, we call it Home 2. We share keys, and she and I share many domestic chores, at each residence.
Since Husband and I do have two children, our ability to be with her is not as frequent as her ability to be with us, and we all collectively agree that we enjoy time together, so we do spend much of the time together, at Home 1. I put in a real effort to spend very regular time with her, in her home, in her world, at Home 2. We just spent the day canvassing downtown, checking out all the little shops, together.
I am very expressive to her about wanting her to feel comfortable, and valued. I suppose it's true, I cannot offer her safety, but like Kevin said, no relationship is fail safe, and I will add that it is regardless of a marriage certificate.
We are not in turmoil right now, we are trying to come to an understanding about one another. I want to know what she wants, and needs, and what her worries and concerns are. All that stuff matters tremendously to me. I am also concerned for Husband's needs. The needs of my children, and also, my own. Lots of moving parts- but, I can honestly say, I love this woman, and she loves me. I love this man, and he, me. They love each other, and everyone seems happy with where things are at. We're going to make a genuine effort to do the right thing. That's where all the advice asking comes in. I will discuss with her all the topics each of you brought up, when we do sit down to converse. I appreciate everything all of you have pointed out.
