Thanks for the details. It sounds like you're not hurting for money, then, and you and your husband are on fairly good terms. OK, then.
To answer your original question, I'd say there is no rush for you to "come out." It wouldn't serve any particular purpose, and could cause you harm and loss of your original family in your life and the lives of your kids. I hear your partners want to come out, but they should understand it could cause you trouble, and respect that.
To answer your original question, I'd say there is no rush for you to "come out." It wouldn't serve any particular purpose, and could cause you harm and loss of your original family in your life and the lives of your kids. I hear your partners want to come out, but they should understand it could cause you trouble, and respect that.