Are there any other ace polyam people on here? What are your experiences in the polyamorous scene?

[FoxyAce]

I'll share mine first!

I am polyamorous, but I always find it hard to connect to partner/s the same way they do with people they do have sex with. Yes, I know every relationship is different and you can get different needs from different people. This is more about relationships where it's like I am dating person A and person B, and A and B are dating each other, the classic triangle! But it's been A and B are closer to each other than I am with them.

I wish if people really valued sex as an important part of building the relationship for them, they would just say so. And it's not like I try to be sneaky about the fact I'm ace. I let people know first thing after going over the basics.

 

[MoPoly]

I’m not sure that the closeness two people share after having sex is entirely a question of how they value it, and whether or not they communicate it. Sex creates hormones like oxytocin (and prolactin) which greatly enhance the connection, bonding and satisfaction that people feel. It’s not logical but it’s a very powerful biochemical response.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello FoxyAce,

To my recollection, there are a number of polyamorous asexuals on this forum, I can't remember who most of them are, but I'm thinking Eponine is one, perhaps she'll post on this thread. It is definitely possible to be asexual and poly, poly doesn't specify sexual connections, just romantic connections. To that end, it might be hard for an aromantic to be poly, although I have heard of platonic polyamory, maybe that would fit.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.

 

[FoxyAce]

Hello FoxyAce,

To my recollection, there are a number of polyamorous asexuals on this forum, I can't remember who most of them are, but I'm thinking Eponine is one, perhaps she'll post on this thread. It is definitely possible to be asexual and poly, poly doesn't specify sexual connections, just romantic connections. To that end, it might be hard for an aromantic to be poly, although I have heard of platonic polyamory, maybe that would fit.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.

Thanks, it sometimes feels like I'm not as equal as others in a given relationship when I'm supposed to be an equal. I know I should be tho

 

[FoxyAce]

I’m not sure that the closeness two people share after having sex is entirely a question of how they value it, and whether or not they communicate it. Sex creates hormones like oxytocin (and prolactin) which greatly enhance the connection, bonding and satisfaction that people feel. It’s not logical but it’s a very powerful biochemical response.

Um, I don't want to be explained at. It makes me feel like it I can't have deep relationship with people. Please read the room, that wasn't very appropriate.

 

[MoPoly]

Um, I don't want to be explained at. It makes me feel like it I can't have deep relationship with people. Please read the room, that wasn't very appropriate.

Sorry you felt that way, no offence was intended. I wasn’t implying that one can’t have a deep relationship, it’s just different that’s all.

 

[Evie]

Mod note: let's leave this thread for the Ace people to reply to, it's what the OP asked for in the title and those of us who use sex as part of our bonding in relationships are very unlikely to have anything constructive to add that the OP doesn't already understand about sexual relationships.