Bi Assumptions

nycindie

Active member
I checked the threads tagged "bisexuality" and didn't see anything that had been posted to in the past year or so that seemed similar.

Sometimes you just have to do a regular or advanced search rather than a tag search, because not every thread gets tagged. But here are some other discussions you may find relevant (I might start tagging them). BTW, resurrecting very old threads is perfectly fine to do here... :

Gay, Bi-, Queer Polyamory

Survey Question (r.e., bisexuality & biamory)

Female bisexuality

Labels: Poly, Mono, heterosexual, homosexual, etc.

why "poly women" are bisexual ???

Why are YOU poly?
 
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ThatGirlInGray

New member
Thanks nycindie

I've read through 2/3 of those threads. It's...a lot. Some hard to read, some I want to respond to even though it was originally posted over a year ago, some I need to process more or re-read before I do anything!
 

NovemberRain

New member
Do you think being Bi makes someone more likely to be open to the idea of poly? Does being attracted to more than one gender have an effect on the way we look at relationships in general?

Interesting thread :D

I hadn't thought about it, but I think it did affect some for me. Some in the ways that others have mentioned, thinking outside the box; and some for just wanting balance. (I'm also a libra, and slightly obsessed with balance)

I discovered I was attracted to girls in high school (though found a pic of a butch girl I crushed on at girl scout camp and realized it maybe started earlier). I grew up with dad's playboy subscription on the reading stand in the bathroom. I mostly read the cartoons and the jokes, but it was pretty female-centric and titillating. I found some article in the newspaper my senior year in high school, there was a lot of political gay liberation going on then, for discussion/extra credit in class. I remember thinking 'I didn't know girls were an option!' I had hard crushes on two classmates and a teacher. Next year at college I got involved in some of the politics and it was very odd that everyone I met just assumed I was gay. I wanted to 'belong' in the culture, and it seemed so accepting.

My first girlfriend was a woman who dated the boy who was my bf in my freshman year. It was his second senior year and he dated her. I was totally jealous. She was gorgeous. We were the only two girls who rode motorcycles to school ~ I always wanted to kick hers over (but I didn't). She's now a man. My second gf always talked about wanting to be a man and how she really was a man, but she would never get the surgery. It was the first gf that I almost entered into triad with (but they tried to go into the bedroom without me, and I was damned if I was gonna wait. so it never flew).

I always harbored the thought that MFF would get me both, and that might be ideal. I just never met people who were good at sharing. I haven't been excellent at sharing, either. The straw that broke the camel's back when I asked current bf to move out was that he was emotionally sharing with online peeps. Things he refused to share with me.

I had no idea poly was so popular among gamers. Can't decide if I like that or not. Both my men are gamers and it hasn't exactly been good for me. But all the friends I've met through them are pretty cool folks, and more poly than you might expect to find in a more random sample.
 

ThatGirlInGray

New member
Interesting thread :D
Thanks! :)

I remember thinking 'I didn't know girls were an option!'
Yes, THIS! Only I was a freshman in college.
Both my men are gamers and it hasn't exactly been good for me.
I hear that! I'm only an rpg gamer, not a computer or video gamer, so for me it's a social thing. I don't get their hours watching a screen, playing by themselves. (upon reflection, pun/innuendo not intended but totally apt :p)
 

NovemberRain

New member
play skyrim for 30 minutes. 30 minutes, and i guarantee you'll understand me so much better, gray.:p

fus ro dah!

[eta: why don't my capital letters work?! :p]
 

ThatGuyInBlack

New member
See?! They get it!

I... I feel really close to you two right now. I'd hug you, but I took an arrow to the knee.

K, I'll stop hijacking now, Gray :p
 

ThatGirlInGray

New member
Good for them. And you. I think I'll stay comfortable in my ignorance on this subject, though. ;)
 

Somegeezer

New member
I often use bisexuality as a great push into describing how poly is a good idea.

You enjoy both male and female, but can only choose one at a time? Wouldn't you rather have both? But of course, there are other differences other than the obvious. Even between two females or two males. Even a room full of 100 people... They all bring something different to the table. All the possibilities of amazing people...

Or something like that. =]

I'm not bisexual myself, but I think if I were female, I at least could be. Possibly. But I'll never find out in this life. =]
 

RfromRMC

New member
I haven't read all the many responses yet but wanted to add what I could...

Do you think being Bi makes someone more likely to be open to the idea of poly? Does being attracted to more than one gender have an effect on the way we look at relationships in general?

You're probably on to something. While I would never go so far as to say something generic and over-broad as "Bi's are more likely to be poly." No, that'd be irresponsible, probably.
However, I WILL say that bisexuals might be more open-minded to accept polyamory as a valid route to go, because they are more likely to understand the benefits it has for them.

Heterosexuals kinda have this expectation on them that they'll grow up, get married (monogamously), have kids, etc etc. LGBT folks...once they are out and comfortable in their sexuality...are less likely to have this as an expectation to live up to, in my view.

And it's not just bisexuals as compared to straights....I also think bi's are more likely to understand poly concepts than gays, too. (At least that's been my experience, both in friends and in dating---bi guys just seem to grasp the concept easier than the gay ones I talk to.)
 

km34

New member
I'd hug you, but I took an arrow to the knee.

UGH! Facebook and hanging out with a few of my friends has been painful for me ever since Skyrim came out. I'm pretty sure I saw over 50 comments about arrows to the knee in the last 24 hours. And I keep my friends list down to like 150!
 

ThatGirlInGray

New member
Wow, that beats me! I think I only saw two. TGIB has a tendency to speak in meme, which half the time he then has to explain to me. :p
 

Castalia

New member
We're all gamers here too. Mmo's, WOW and Starcraft, I don't play Starcraft and only irregularly play WOW, Madscientist plays Starcraft and Gamerboy plays WOW, and we all play rpgs together. Gamerboy taught me how to play Magic and WOW when we first got together and I started playing rpgs so Madscientist and Gamerboy could have a larger enough group to play.
I blame them for turning me into such a geek. :cool:
 

Somegeezer

New member
Please keep stuff on topic guys. =]
 

ThatGirlInGray

New member
Why? Not trying to be snarky, asking an honest question.

People are still welcome to make on-topic posts. Castalia's post WAS on topic, insofar as the idea got brought up that there are other commonalities of people who are poly. So were other posts on this very page. A few posts were more "social"- this isn't an "issue" thread. I'm not asking for help or advice (I understand it would be QUITE rude to hijack a thread where someone is upset and trying to work through something). I asked for people's thoughts, and perhaps the conversation wandered a bit. Is that so bad?
 

Iktomi

New member
both my husband and i are bisexual (pansexual, actually). and being bi is the main reason for being poly, for me. i just don't crave another male's touch as much as i crave a females'. but, i would say, being kinky also has a lot to do with my wanting to be poly, because the local kink community has some poly people who are also kinky and family oriented... and i looked at that and said, "hey, that looks like something i would love!"
 
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