Core correction: I'm not interested in opening up; I'm trying to figure out if J+H were approaching it as a "here's a couple we could get involved with", so that Kayla and I could have some significant conversations (with Joe and Samantha too) if we were as a group interested in that or would rather push it back to the "friends" side... I was trying to come at it from the other direction - "hey, we said we were poly, did you interpret that to mean we might be interested in opening it up further, or were you just cool with it? Because if the former, we have a lot of talking to do on our side first."I wouldn't do it that way. I might be more "Tell me about you." And let them choose what to reveal about themselves at this time.
They ALREADY told you they are looking for friends. Not more. At least not at this juncture. They might be monogamous, so why would they be "looking for" anything past friends anyway?
Coming at them like you wrote? That feels awkward to me. And kinda like you are on the hunt for fresh meat and "friends" is just your way of getting the foot in the door. And Kayla just met them at work? Then what? Make the coworker situation totally weird if she and you bungle this?
IMHO? Kayla (and you) may need to slow your roll some there. At this stage? It's just lust or initial attraction anyway. Jsut because one feels something doesn't mean you HAVE to pursue.
Don't go at it like "kid in a candy store" or something.
Esp when there's things to sort out with the poly group at home anyway with how much people wanted to be outted or not? Don't get ahead of yourselves.
The only reason we wondered (or I should say, she wondered - I'm honestly not interested in opening up the polycue any farther) was a side comment made about moving out where we are because things were more accepted out here. Now that could have easily been a political statement in general (coming from a very very red state to a very blue one), could have been about the whole poly thing, or just anything in general. It was a side comment, nothing more. But the male half of the J+H group does hang around her work quite a bit (food/drink industry), but it's in his neighborhood too (they're not her coworkers, they're her customers).
And yes, I'm sure a bit of this is the jealous side that she and I haven't had much time to talk through, because busy schedules right now... and this is the first time it's come up in our relationship, and the whole relationship is still pretty new.
Edit: Alternative wording, that might be better? - "Hey, look - we're all planning on some double dates and really looking forward to hanging out, but just to avoid any potential awkwardness or weirdness, especially if someone has a drink too many - are you all mono, or are you in a different form of relationship? We don't want to give you the wrong impression from our end."