Boundaries around sharing information?

[Carmina]

My partner comes back tomorrow after the longest period away so far (3 days and 2 nights) with her new partner (which I believe makes him my or our metamour?) Anyway I have noticed in several posts on this forum that there is a certain etiquette about what partners should share with each other about their time with another. One may be comfortable, for example, with details of places they visited but not intimate details of their sexual encounters or relationship problems. Those are certainly things I would find uncomfortable hearing and would also not wish to be drawn into the role of helping sort out any emotional issues they have between them (having been placed in that situation previously). Is there any advice on these sort of boundaries?

 

[GalaGirl]

Her BF. Your metamour. (parter of my partner.)

Every person is different.

One may be comfortable, for example, with details of places they visited but not intimate details of their sexual encounters or relationship problems. Those are certainly things I would find uncomfortable hearing and would also not wish to be drawn into the role of helping sort out any emotional issues they have between them (having been placed in that situation previously). Is there any advice on these sort of boundaries?

If this is where you are at? You could just tell her that now.

"Hey. Can we talk? I've been thinking about my personal boundaries. I'm ok hearing details of places you visit with your partner like a yummy restaurant but not intimate details of sexual encounters or relationship problems. Some stuff just isn't my business."

If she comes home telling you about yummy lunch at restaurant X? And how she wants to try eating there again with you? You listen.

If she comes home trying to talk to you about TMI sex details or trying to use you for a sounding board for their emotional problems? You can say "Stop. Please respect my boundaries. This is getting TMI, and not my business. I suggest to talk to him about that directly. Not me." And hold the line.

Galagirl

 

[kdt26417]

Hi Carmina,
Your partner's new partner is her OSO (Other Significant Other) and your metamour.

You definitely should have boundaries around anything that makes you uncomfortable (e.g. relationship problems with the OSO, details of their sexual encounters).

Good luck, I hope you have a good reuniting with your partner.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[TXretired]

Our approach is that my relationship with my wife remains between us as a couple. In like manner, my relationship with my Girlfriend (Ewe) is also between EWe and I. Our relationships are stand alone. I will take off for about a week a month with Ewe. She is moving close so it will now be 3 days per week. What we do, is up to us.