I feel peaceful about my situation. When people say they're sorry to hear Arlo and I separated, I don't know what to say, because I'm not. Sad sometimes, sure, but I'm not sorry. I know I should be putting more focus on work and making money and downsizing my living situation, but my focus really is on love and connection. I feel like loving and being loved is my job. I don't even mean just romantic love, I mean friendships and just interacting. I feel like I need to figure out this new way of moving through the world where infinite love might exist. It's taking up a lot of my attention.
Arlo has a long-distance, mostly-unconsummated thing with a woman named Amy. He met her while she was here on vacation. She's looking to buy a home here. He might visit her after the holidays. He hasn't told her he's still intimate with me. That would probably be a dealbreaker for her, so if they move forward, my relationship with Arlo will probably have to change.
I've had two first dates recently with two very different women, and I will have 2nd dates with them both. The first was the woman I complained about in this post: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69323&page=6 Her name is Tina. I know, I called her the worst date ever. Thing is, after I rejected her, she contacted me, told me how much she had liked me, and asked why I'd rejected her. She tells me I'm wrong about her, and asked me to see her again. I thought that took real balls--I'm so rejection sensitive, I would not dream of asking someone to tell me why they didn't like me. So I said ok. Maybe she has something to teach me about not taking no for an answer. I admit I'm turned on by her forcefulness. Maybe it would be fun to have a woman really dominate me in bed. She's got a pretty face, pretty blonde hair, though she's a bit more buxom than I'm used to, and she's older than any woman--or man-- I've ever been with (seven years older than me.)
The second woman, Jules, was a sweetie I really liked her, and she seems to really, really like me....but I'm not sure if I'm physically attracted. She has a cute smile and nice eyes, but she's not the feline, feminine type I usually fall for. She's got short hair, lots of tattoos, full-figure. Also, she doesn't have much experience with women. In fact, I don't think she's ever gone down on a woman. But I enjoy her company, and she seems like a great person. I feel like I need to be a bit careful with her, and whether we stay friends or become lovers, I really want this to be a positive experience for her.
Arlo has a long-distance, mostly-unconsummated thing with a woman named Amy. He met her while she was here on vacation. She's looking to buy a home here. He might visit her after the holidays. He hasn't told her he's still intimate with me. That would probably be a dealbreaker for her, so if they move forward, my relationship with Arlo will probably have to change.
I've had two first dates recently with two very different women, and I will have 2nd dates with them both. The first was the woman I complained about in this post: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69323&page=6 Her name is Tina. I know, I called her the worst date ever. Thing is, after I rejected her, she contacted me, told me how much she had liked me, and asked why I'd rejected her. She tells me I'm wrong about her, and asked me to see her again. I thought that took real balls--I'm so rejection sensitive, I would not dream of asking someone to tell me why they didn't like me. So I said ok. Maybe she has something to teach me about not taking no for an answer. I admit I'm turned on by her forcefulness. Maybe it would be fun to have a woman really dominate me in bed. She's got a pretty face, pretty blonde hair, though she's a bit more buxom than I'm used to, and she's older than any woman--or man-- I've ever been with (seven years older than me.)
The second woman, Jules, was a sweetie I really liked her, and she seems to really, really like me....but I'm not sure if I'm physically attracted. She has a cute smile and nice eyes, but she's not the feline, feminine type I usually fall for. She's got short hair, lots of tattoos, full-figure. Also, she doesn't have much experience with women. In fact, I don't think she's ever gone down on a woman. But I enjoy her company, and she seems like a great person. I feel like I need to be a bit careful with her, and whether we stay friends or become lovers, I really want this to be a positive experience for her.