Closed triad

AJoy

New member
I've looked through the poly glossary because I'm really quite unfamiliar with poly terms, but there are a couple of terms that I found that might express the nature of our relationship... Closed triad maybe?

I met my husband about five years ago and we were married two years ago. Right before this, I fell in love with my best friend. I talked very openly with my husband about my feelings well before anything happened (and I really didn't think anything would because I didn't know our feelings were mutual. She was married. I was engaged. I found out later that she had also been talking to her husband about she and I getting together in a sexual capacity.

After she and I got together for the first time (using a few drinks for the nerves). :) Anyway, it was a lovely and very lusty and loving whirlwind relationship. During this time, I shared all of my feelings and experiences with my man. She, on the other hand had been reserved about her emotional attachment to me with her husband and when she told him her feelings for me, be demanded it end because he only let it happen because he assumed it was purely sexual. She ended us, as he demanded, probably the most emotionally excruciating experience in my life (during which. My guy took amazing care of me). After a few months of separation and questionable relationship status between she and I, she was divorced, we were back together. During the time she took figuring out her feelings about her marriage, she and my guy spent some time talking about it all and discovered that they also had feelings for each other (they work together and were traveling at the time).

Anyway, fast forward to present day. We've all three been together now for two years. We own our house together, share a bank account, combined and doubled our female wardrobe :). There were a lot of emotions to work through in the beginning because if the rocky intermission in our relationship . I no longer wanted a marriage because I wanted us all on equal footing with each other. I did end up marrying my guy, but also plan to have a marriage ceremony of our own, she and I. My guy and she will do the same. One major factor in my legal marriage with my guy came down to health insurance (I was diagnosed bipolar around that time - prescriptions and doctors appts. Get expensive!).

The point behind all of this is that we are very equal in our relationship. We are open about everything good and bad. We all sleep together every night. We prefer all of us having sex together, but use other couple combinations depending on whose in the mood or there. We go on separate dates sometimes when our third is busy or out of town, but we honestly spend most of our dates as well as leisure time together. We are best friends so we sometimes too much of home bodies because we don't see the need for company of others. We all have a few of our own friends we get together with, but again, we most prefer hanging together. We are now planning to have a baby in the next couple years, that we intend to raise as equal parents (still talking through all of those implications).

I apologize for my affliction of being too verbose, I'll come to the point of the post. Whatever it's called, I have hardly ever seen examples of this kind of relationship on poly sites. I would love to hear stores from anyone else with this relationship. I'd also love to hear insight from anyone with thoughts about why this relationship type is less common... Is it because it doesn't quite match the concept of poly (being basically like a mono couple except with three). Really, I would love to hear from anyone with any thought on the matter.

Thanks!
 
it's because you guys have struck a rare balance between the three of you. Everyone is an equal party, your husband and you don't treat your relationship as being more important than your relationship with her. This is no small feat. Most triads start with a married couple who wants to take in a third. This usually causes them to treat that certain person like a sex toy or a slave they also tend to be willing to cast the third person aside if things get too difficult. This tends to build resentment in the third person and they up and leave. Congratulations on your success
 
Yup. "Closed triad" fits here. A triad is essentially three "v" relationships stacked up together. It is a challenge to balance just one, so managing to balance three is no small feat.

Glad to know you are all doing well!

Galagirl
 
My partners and I are in the same kind of relationship. They are the married couple. We have now been together 2 years.

We've known each other about 12 years now and put a lot of our 'ease' in our relationship down to the fact that we were friends first and had gotten to know each other pretty well. We share similar morals and beliefs and I think this makes a difference.

We are just now trying out the living together thing - but on a part time basis. I live in Devon but am currently working in London. They live on the outskirts, so I am living with them through the week and every other weekend. We have found it remarkably easy to be in each other's space and almost without discussion have settled into routines for chores.

Even before we lived together, we tried to maintain a schedule of spending every other weekend together, but we quickly found that we really couldn't bear to be apart and often made extra arrangements.

Both my partners' children are grown and raised. I don't want children, although i have some responsibility for a small nephew, so it isn't a consideration for us.

On the relationship side, things developed between her and I in the first instance. We had dallied together some years ago (with her husband's blessing) but i had backed off as it wasn't the situation i wanted. Now, things seem to have slotted into place with her and I and he and I. Our three-way relationship started from a bdsm-play arrangements and developed into a relationship and romantic feelings.

None of us have any desire for any other relationships, so we don't really define ourselves as poly. We do however experience a lot of frustration at the couple-centric world. The relationship is generally equal, we have issues occasionally where i feel 'second best' or missing out - and this is generally from my male partner. Its not deliberate behaviour but rather ingrained behaviour from them being together 12 years, and some of it is down to my own (hormonal)irrationality (my words - not theirs).

I love having two people to spend my time with and share different interests with. And when things are rough, i have two peoples support. We all sleep together in the same bed every night, and each of us have said how weird it feels when one (in their case) or both (in mine) are missing for the bed.

W have lows, but they are far outweighed by the highs
 
There are a number of closed polyfidels out there. If I had to hazard a guess about why they don't spend much time here, I'd say it's because we don't have much to offer them. They tend to just be busy doing their thing and not too worried about philosophizing, speaking in abstracts, or helping people deal with problems with which they have no experience. They're busy raising kids, managing their households, and just living their happy lives.

A lot of couples go off seeking what you have, but I think they approach it non-constructively. They want to "add" someone to "their relationship" but they don't want anything really to change between them. They usually have a lot of shared history, and seem to be under the delusion that a third person can just walk in and be up to speed overnight. But as you know, it doesn't work like that.

I don't think I could do a triad. I'm too solitary, independent. I can barely handle being married to one person and having a girlfriend. Having Gralson working from home from December to April... I was ready to build a Tiny House in the backyard. I'm still threatening...
 
Wow Ajoy, we are similar in how we have things set up! My wife and I have been together for a few years. We are both bisexual females who had dated mostly men before we got together. We both at the time we met were looking to find love with another woman, because we preferred them over men. We met several years ago and have been partners and lovers for four years. We had high hopes that we'd be to fulfill our dream of being able to get married. We were overjoyed when Prop. 8 in CA was overturned and we got married!

We figured we'd live as monogamous same-sex couple and have a family together. But being bisexual, we still found men sexually attractive even though we didn't see them as a long-term option for a relationship. We decided to spice up things occasionally with a male who'd be our mutual fwb and with whom we'd occasionally have threesomes with. The first man was great but he didn't remain in CA so that situation ended. We then tried another guy but he wanted to bring in another man to sleep with us but we wanted none of that. Our third time was the charm! We met our "husband" 10 months ago. He was kind and caring and respectful towards our relationship as well as being a fantastic lover to us both. Before we knew it we both had fallen in love with him and he with us. He moved in with us in Jan and we've been enjoying ourselves! We don't need a sperm donor now if we want a family, which we still do. We have him to do that for us and be a male figure in the parental relationships. It will be uncharted territory for all of us but I believe we will succeed!

Julie
 
it's because you guys have struck a rare balance between the three of you. Everyone is an equal party, your husband and you don't treat your relationship as being more important than your relationship with her. This is no small feat. Most triads start with a married couple who wants to take in a third. This usually causes them to treat that certain person like a sex toy or a slave they also tend to be willing to cast the third person aside if things get too difficult. This tends to build resentment in the third person and they up and leave. Congratulations on your success

Thanks. :) I hadn't really thought about what it could be like to be a third in a relationship. When you talk about how they are sometimes treated, it is shocking and sad to me. I think it's inherent in the three of us to all see each other equally. For me, it's easier to stay balanced with three of us than two.
 
Yup. "Closed triad" fits here. A triad is essentially three "v" relationships stacked up together. It is a challenge to balance just one, so managing to balance three is no small feat.

Glad to know you are all doing well!

Galagirl

Thanks for explaining that! I makes total sense when you explain it like that. :) It's funny though because balancing three Vs seems much easier for me than would two or one. I am amazed by the people on here who work so hard to have these beautiful and complex relationships. I somehow lucked into something simpler, but love reading about how people are able to live happy and loving lives despite the complexity and time involved in maintaining more than one central relationship.
 
Also in a fairly comparable situation. I have been married to my wife for a decade and a half. The last few years we had started into a swinger lifestyle, but it was purely sexual. I think this was our stepping stone into a poly relationship... as it gave us the safety of trying out something new without the scary part about having an emotional relationship with other partners.

Our poly relationship is still fairly new and resulted from a friend of mine that I met at work who then quickly turned into one of my best friends. Although initially a little bit apprehensive (and, as she will admit now, scared shitless) toward the idea of me being such close friends with someone of the opposite sex, my wife very quickly warmed up to Freckles after they got a chance to meet.

Fast forward to today... Freckles lives with us. Our kids understand that there is definitely something different about our relationship, but only our oldest teenage daughter has talked to us about it. We sleep in the same bed most nights, though Freckles has her own personal space in the next room.

The most important thing (and the part that I think is crucial in this situation) I see is that we don't feel there is a primary couple or a secondary couple or any of that nonsense. The triad IS the primary relationship, there is nothing else to consider beside that. The only decisions that Curls and I make together now that don't involve Freckles is certain decisions concerning our kids... and even then we always at least talk to her and get her opinion on it before we come to a conclusion.
 
The most important thing (and the part that I think is crucial in this situation) I see is that we don't feel there is a primary couple or a secondary couple or any of that nonsense. The triad IS the primary relationship, there is nothing else to consider beside that. The only decisions that Curls and I make together now that don't involve Freckles is certain decisions concerning our kids... and even then we always at least talk to her and get her opinion on it before we come to a conclusion.

This is how I feel too. The triad is the primary relationship. I guess I differ in that we plan to be very equal in parenting decisions, but I think that is probably because we'll be going into that step together. I think it's impressive that you found such a nice balance even after being in a marriage for a long period of time. I guess that really shows how when the right thing happens, everything really can just click. :)
 
None of us have any desire for any other relationships, so we don't really define ourselves as poly. We do however experience a lot of frustration at the couple-centric world. The relationship is generally equal, we have issues occasionally where i feel 'second best' or missing out - and this is generally from my male partner. Its not deliberate behaviour but rather ingrained behaviour from them being together 12 years, and some of it is down to my own (hormonal)irrationality (my words - not theirs).

I agree with this entirely. It is so frustrating and then so hard to correct. We went to Cancun for a romantic type vacation and they had changed our selected king bed to two full beds when they saw us (which we made them correct). They were utterly confused about half of the requests we made when it involved three of us for something meant for two. When just my girl and I went around together, we are much more likely to be understood and treated normally.

Even when acquaintances ask about how my husband is or if we are going for a romantic anniversary or something, it frustrates me because it's like she's being ignored. We all work in education, otherwise I would out us for exactly what we are to make thing easier. They work together, so that makes it a little less safe to be public. Luckily our families know so we get treated normally there. When we have a kid, I don't see how things can be kept quiet, so I think we'll just have to work with it from there.
 
There are a number of closed polyfidels out there. If I had to hazard a guess about why they don't spend much time here, I'd say it's because we don't have much to offer them. They tend to just be busy doing their thing and not too worried about philosophizing, speaking in abstracts, or helping people deal with problems with which they have no experience. They're busy raising kids, managing their households, and just living their happy lives.

I guess that makes a lot of sense. I got an account on here when our relationship was still starting and things were very new to me. I was looking for help in understanding what I was experiencing. I've only just recently come back, I think, because it is hard to find people who understand relationships outside of what is standard, and I like being able to talk openly about ins and outs of my life, which happens to include more than one SO. I do enjoy going about my happy life, but it is still really nice to be able to connect with and understand people relationship wise.

Another reason I like it here is because there are just some questions that people like, my doctor, are really able to understand. While they know about us, they don't know what that means. This is where I've come to read about how people tackle the idea of having kids in a poly relationship. So... I guess it just surprises me that more people in closed triads aren't prevalent.


I don't think I could do a triad. I'm too solitary, independent. I can barely handle being married to one person and having a girlfriend. Having Gralson working from home from December to April... I was ready to build a Tiny House in the backyard. I'm still threatening...

haha :) I don't have the little house, but I have a horse for purposes of space. He and I hang out when I need to go solo for a bit. But, in reality, I am very social by nature, and just revel in the time we all have together (so really the horse is best for when I'm pissed at both of them). :) My girl was the most independent of the three of us, and that worried me at first as far as her being able to handle the lack of space that I was prepared to give. But...she settled right into the world of us all being together. As we've been able to talk over time, we've found that her 'need for independence' was actually a result of her having to be independent in her first marriage. That was a one sided show in which he expected her to take care of herself and him (emotionally and logistically) - which she did. She's a totally different person relationship wise now, and seems happier for it.
 
Wow Ajoy, we are similar in how we have things set up! My wife and I have been together for a few years. We are both bisexual females who had dated mostly men before we got together.

This is exactly what my situation was, though mine was not an intentional thing. I was with only guys (aside from a couple of failed experiments with girls) because for some reason, liking girls hadn't crossed my mind. Now that I am with and love a lady, I know that it would have been my preference all along (I was not very self aware until recently due to issues with bipolar as well as complications in the way I was raised). My guy is an exception in the man category (as far as my own needs go), otherwise, I would have probably switched all together once I realized I like girls. So I guess I am in a poly-relationship, but wasn't exactly looking for that... this just turned out to be what was right for the three of us I guess. I love both my guy and my girl endlessly, each in their unique ways.

We had high hopes that we'd be to fulfill our dream of being able to get married. We were overjoyed when Prop. 8 in CA was overturned and we got married!

I think that is awesome. When our relationship started, the idea of going somewhere where she and I could be married crossed my mind more than once. I think it was some idea on my part to balance the fact that the public world sees the relationship between my guy and I as my only relationship, with irritates me, despite that fact that they have no reason to think otherwise. I have the both come to all of my extracurricular functions, as we all do for each other. My students all know both of them well after how often they have stopped in to help with class events. Yet, she is always known as my room mate at this point. I will have to say that I am still very bothered by this lack of public balance and frustrated about not knowing a safe way to change it.

Before we knew it we both had fallen in love with him and he with us. He moved in with us in Jan and we've been enjoying ourselves! We don't need a sperm donor now if we want a family, which we still do. We have him to do that for us and be a male figure in the parental relationships. It will be uncharted territory for all of us but I believe we will succeed!

I'm assuming that you interpret this in the same way as I do, where those advantages of having a male in the relationship are wonderful, but are added bonuses rather than the only purpose for him being in the relationship. I have such a hard time talking about this in writing because I worry that I'm not expressing myself clearly. Since meeting my girl, I realized that if I had been in a position to be with only one in life, I would be with a girl, but I couldn't choose to love one of my loves more or less than the other. So, from the perspective of someone who might have been with only girls; having a built in dad, who everyone loves and looks to in order to play that role, I am very happy that I get to have the best of both worlds.
 
Even when acquaintances ask about how my husband is or if we are going for a romantic anniversary or something, it frustrates me because it's like she's being ignored. We all work in education, otherwise I would out us for exactly what we are to make thing easier. They work together, so that makes it a little less safe to be public. Luckily our families know so we get treated normally there. When we have a kid, I don't see how things can be kept quiet, so I think we'll just have to work with it from there.

THIS... exactly.

We go through the same issues all the time. Curls works in the education field and although I am in retail, I'm in a position where I have several hundred employees under me. Because of both of these, we are VERY careful about not outing ourselves to anyone except our closest friends and family.

Even those that do know, they don't always understand. My parents are incredibly kind and openminded people, but even they have a hard time figuring out quite what to do with Freckles. They are extremely friendly to her and welcome her with open arms, but they haven't quite wrapped their heads around exactly how we function as a triad yet. The don't ask very personal questions, but it was obvious that they just thought it was a sex thing at first. They hit a mental roadblock when they started understanding that it's not just physical, that our three way partnership encompasses EVERY aspect of our lives.
 
I'm assuming that you interpret this in the same way as I do, where those advantages of having a male in the relationship are wonderful, but are added bonuses rather than the only purpose for him being in the relationship. I have such a hard time talking about this in writing because I worry that I'm not expressing myself clearly. Since meeting my girl, I realized that if I had been in a position to be with only one in life, I would be with a girl, but I couldn't choose to love one of my loves more or less than the other. So, from the perspective of someone who might have been with only girls; having a built in dad, who everyone loves and looks to in order to play that role, I am very happy that I get to have the best of both worlds.

I know what you mean. It isn't easy to put into words how a triad works because there are so many ways to look at it. What I find works for us is being flexible. I love my wife and the husband we share because I love each of them equally and differently just as they provide me each their own brand of love. I feel complete because I can enjoy being in love with a man and a woman, with each fulfilling needs the other can't. We go out together a lot but other times it's my wife and I doing girly things and he can do male things without him having to feel guilty about not wanting to participate doing those things. Unlike many same-sex female couples where one is feminine and the other is the "stud", we are both feminine women.

He has done wonders to help us see again how valuable men are in relationships because we had serious doubts for a while they could provide other things more than fulfilling sexual needs. He doesn't have to feel guilty at all about being intimate with two women because we understand that natural instinct. It would feel complete if he could legally marry both of us and have a unique polygamist relationship (some laws that exist in this country just piss the hell out of me). Fortunately, we accept we love each other totally and he won't feel less loved because he doesn't have a paper saying he isn't our husband.
 
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread - to the point of tears. This is exactly what we have too ... me and the husband share a girlfriend. she is his, she is mine, she is ours, and him and I have each other. 4 relationships essentially. And even though we've only been together for 8 months... we've been together for 8 months!! I consider that super successful. It's definitely had its ups and downs. The biggest issues were me dealing with them having their alone relationship. We are involved in BDSM as well, and have found the people in our local groups to be very supportive. In fact, we just went to a fetish convention this past weekend and there were several classes taught about poly lifestyle. We didn't go to them ... mainly because I assumed it wasn't what we have - a closed triad.

It's extremely refreshing to read about others like us having successful relationships.

I'd like to hear more about your ups and downs and how you survive them. It can seem so lonely sometimes when most people in the poly world don't have what we have.

Thank you for sharing!!
 
This thread makes me so happy! I am in a triad and we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary. My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and we have 1 child. We were all friends for about a year before anything (thank you Absinthe!) happened. Once we got together, it just felt very natural. Of course we've had difficult times, but we are very committed to each other.

What others say about not 'feeling poly' definitely rings true for us. We don't know any poly people in real life. We don't date outside our relationship and have no intentions to. We are definitely busy with family+ work, so extra relationships just aren't on our radar.

We've generally had positive responses from the outside world. For instance, our daughter has been in 2 daycares (we moved) and at both places we are out and they treat us all equally as parents. The one exception has been fertility specialists, who have given us a very hard time.

In my opinion our type of triad is just serendipity! I love hearing about others who've stumbled into this happy tangle.
 
This thread makes me so happy! I am in a triad and we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary. My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and we have 1 child. We were all friends for about a year before anything (thank you Absinthe!) happened. Once we got together, it just felt very natural. Of course we've had difficult times, but we are very committed to each other.

What others say about not 'feeling poly' definitely rings true for us. We don't know any poly people in real life. We don't date outside our relationship and have no intentions to. We are definitely busy with family+ work, so extra relationships just aren't on our radar.

We've generally had positive responses from the outside world. For instance, our daughter has been in 2 daycares (we moved) and at both places we are out and they treat us all equally as parents. The one exception has been fertility specialists, who have given us a very hard time.

In my opinion our type of triad is just serendipity! I love hearing about others who've stumbled into this happy tangle.


That's great about the day cares accepting your relationship! We're so close to trying for a child, and it's scary! What kind of hard time do you get from the fertility people? That sucks.

And I've really enjoyed hearing from everyone in this thread too, closed triad and other forms of relationship. It's nice to meet so many others in nearly our exact relationship!
 
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread - to the point of tears. This is exactly what we have too ... me and the husband share a girlfriend. she is his, she is mine, she is ours, and him and I have each other. 4 relationships essentially. And even though we've only been together for 8 months... we've been together for 8 months!! I consider that super successful. It's definitely had its ups and downs. The biggest issues were me dealing with them having their alone relationship. We are involved in BDSM as well, and have found the people in our local groups to be very supportive. In fact, we just went to a fetish convention this past weekend and there were several classes taught about poly lifestyle. We didn't go to them ... mainly because I assumed it wasn't what we have - a closed triad.

It's extremely refreshing to read about others like us having successful relationships.

I'd like to hear more about your ups and downs and how you survive them. It can seem so lonely sometimes when most people in the poly world don't have what we have.

Thank you for sharing!!


I know this is going to sound weird, but once we established the basic parameters of our relationship, we haven't really had ups and downs. Not relationship wise anyway. Sometimes it seems like we actually have fewer ups and downs than standard couples do.I think this is due to a few factors:

1. Things were rough in the beginning, largely due to Lamb's divorce and my just getting diagnosed with bipolar. I was a wreck in so many ways. So, we ended up having to set a rule where we have meetings a minimum of 1X per week and as needed. We set up a bunch of rules for the meetings, but the whole point is for us to feel safe to communicate and exist in the relationship. I might try to dig out that rules page and type it up in a post just for fun. :)
2. Lamb is extremely mild tempered and compassionate.
3. Pickle is a nurturer.
4. I'm vibrant, exciting, full of energy, a little crazy, and sometimes depressed.
Basically, we all bring something for each other... I think this might help keep the less than desirable relationship feelings in check.
5. We're all best friends, and were good friends independently of the triad before.
6. I have a very strong need to talk and share. I also like to be shared with, so I am constantly making us talk about our feelings and such. It might be a manic quirk or it might just be me. :)

Regular life ups and downs happen with us for sure though! But even that just seems like an interesting/annoying adventure. For instance, we used a Uhaul a couple months ago to pick up some hay, and after dropping it in our barn we got stuck on the edge of our ice/snowish driveway. It was just she and I at first, and I was sure we would have it out before Pickle got home, but alas... we had to admit girl defeat and let him help. It was not a pretty situation, or day... but it was fun still (even though there was a fair amount of shouting going on between myself and Pickle). :) Oh, I was so sore the next day!

One down that we struggled with early on was who we should out ourselves to. I am more pushy about being out, even though it doesn't feel great to have people look at you differently when you tell them. I told my entire family right away (too soon really, because it was still a very emotional time in the relationship). Lamb told her family by default because they aren't stupid, and they noticed how in each others' lives we were. They asked her about it, and so then she came clean. She has issues with expressing negative feelings or scary news to people, but my prying keeps that a non-issue with us. :) Pickle has told his brother and nephew, but nobody else in his family. My parents and Lamb's parents treat us like a legitimate, serious relationship (though I'm sure they will struggle to get past being a little weirded out).

Here's a relationship hurdle that we're experiencing...
When Lamb and Pickle get home from their work trip to DC, I'm going to tell them that I'm tired of waiting to start a family. I've wanted it since I fell in love with Lamb and we became a triad, but was quiet about it for quite some time. Lamb came around on her own a few months ago. I wanted to move forward, but then Pickle said he wanted to go to counseling about his worries of being a father first. I understood and respected this, but now, over a month later, he hasn't even scheduled an appt. So then I'm going to tell him that I'm pissed at him for stalling. Then we have a talk, then we'll come up with a plan and/or compromise that will suit us all temporarily. Then we'll address it again when needed. :) :) Note: while this is a true story and I'm legitimately annoyed - this is not a major problem for any of us... we aren't very far off base from each other as far as point of view comes in on this one.

I really could reply forever (evidence of my self characterizations above)... must stop myself. :)
 
This is from the rules paper we used in the beginning of our relationship. We had meetings at least a couple times a week early on. Now I can't remember our last meeting because things have been so chill, but if something pops up, we have a meeting and below are our rules (though, rule 22 reflects that it would be a slightly different set of rules). :) Some of the rules were meant more whimsically. We did incorporate the rules in the wedding vows when Pickle and I got married and will probably use the same for when we all get married. It made for some very unique vows (Our straight, married witnesses loved how original and creative they were.) :)

Anyway...

The Trinity Handbook (AKA - The Hotdog Handbook... don't ask) :)
Rules, Priorities & Needs

1. Take care of your health
2. Don't curb your natural tendencies, unless it's to the detriment of the team (feelings)
3. Everyone must be present if we break up (this rule does make sense in context). :)
4. Don't speculate about absent party's needs, feelings, wants
5. Share needs
6. Everyone is allowed to feel what they feel, but you have to let others help you.
7. Don't be a dick. Say you're sorry
8. Accept legit apologies
9. Allow for alone time
10. No keeping tabs on time
11. Be honest and open about your feelings
12. We are allowed to change and grow as people as long as our changes are communicated
13. Don't yell at anyone. Don't take yelling personally.
14. We're allowed to change our minds.
15. No exclusions, BUT, you are allowed to say no. No ONE GETS BUTT HURT.
16. Circle time every Wednesday - everyone reports
17. Everyone reports on whatever they want and it can be whatever the fuck they want.
18. No one leaves the meeting until it is adorned
19. Emergency meetings can be called as needed
20. Pickle gets to light the candles
21. make a list or a wish before blowing out the candles at the end of the meeting.
22. This document can be revised as needed - no tea partyers

Yes, I know we're odd! :)
 
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