closing the relationship

A

AJM

New member
My wife wants to close the relationship after a year of poly "testing"

Its rather not. I'm going to suggest that of she's uncomfortable with me dating then we could make some adjustments. I would personally prefer that she keep dating.
 
Perhaps some kind of mono/poly arrangement might work?
 
I'm curious why she wants to close? Is it that she's not enjoying dating, or that she feels neglected, or :confused:
 
Wait, am I getting my threads mixed up or weren't you also going through a fairly traumatic end to a whirlwind relationship while your wife was in another city? I'm just saying they might be related...
 
icesong said:
Wait, am I getting my threads mixed up or weren't you also going through a fairly traumatic end to a whirlwind relationship while your wife was in another city? I'm just saying they might be related...
Click to expand...

No, you're right although traumatic might be a little strong of a description. My wife dated a few people casually while I had a deep relationship with a single partner. She was really, really shocked that I fell in love. So much so that I asked her if she even knew what polyamory was. She may have fears or anxiety over losing me.

That's why I propose that she continue dating and I won't. I've told her that I really, REALLY love the idea of her dating/seeing other partners.
 
That's fine that you are supportive of her dating others if she so chooses... but in the end it's her choice to date or not. If she wants to stop dating? She can. She can Close her side without your input. It's her side.

If she's asking you to consider Closing YOUR side? Then you have to tell her where you stand. And in your first post? You seem to be saying

  • If she's uncomfortable with you dating you are willing to make some adjustments to your dating practices.
  • But over all you want your side to stay Open

Then it's on her to decide if she can accept that and work with it and continue to participate or if she's at a deal breaker place.

So be honest and have the talks you need to be having. Sort it out.

I hope the talks go well.

Galagirl
 
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