Coming home...

H

hanami

New member
Hi all,

This is a short and sweet one.

When going out to see a partner or go on a date, do you usually give your other partner(s) a time frame for when you'll be home, a time that you check in, or do you leave it open-ended?

Also, do you have any particular agreements on this, or any particular reasons for navigating it the way that you do?
 
we always know with whom and where the other partner is going. if someone ends up going home with someone we get the address in a text but beyond that it's usually open. That allows for a wide range of flexibility.

sometimes I get a text at 1am that she's coming home, sometimes it not till 6:30am after a morning quickie...
 
I am a grown up.. I don't have to check in with my husbands like a teenager. I do let my husbands know if I am running late and if it will effect then our the kids or if there is a change to my routine.
 
I just use common courtesy and so does my live-in partner. If she goes to the city where her bf lives, I know if she is spending one night or two, and approximately what time she expects to get home. If she's going to be more than an hour or two late, she generally lets me know, unless her phone dies or something.

If I go out with a bf or to one of their houses, yes, I let my partner know when I expect to be home. If we are just going out for dinner, there is no need to mention a time, since dinner is generally 2 hours or so.
 
My husband and I do give each other a general idea of what time we'll be home - and we also shoot each other a text if that changes, and an "on my way" text when we do leave another partner's house. But it's not a "poly" thing, we do that when one of us is out for a work event or with platonic friends, too.

Come to think of it, even though I don't live with my boyfriend, I usually text him when I'm starting/finishing a long drive somewhere, especially at night. And I ALWAYS text him that I'm home safe when I get home after a date with him.

Some of that is a safety thing, some is a courtesy thing. Some is also that we are all three incessant texters :eek: so it's helpful to give a heads up that I will be driving and not answering texts for a while.
 
I don't go out with anyone other than Woody. I tell Hubby and my kids when I'm going to Woody's. They know to assume I'm spending the night with him unless I tell them otherwise. (On very rare occasions, Woody has both me and one of his other partners over for a movie night or something, and if he's having his other partner spend the night, obviously I won't be. Woody always makes sure to tell me up front what's going on.) When I spend the night with Woody, I usually text Alt the following day to give them a time frame of when to expect me home, since they sometimes need me for mental health support and if Country gets home before I do, she'll usually ask Alt when I'm due home rather than getting in touch with me herself. Hubby doesn't care what time I'm due home, he just wants to know that I'll be home at some point.
 
I'm in a closed V so there is just a hinge and two legs of the V. Whenever Snowbunny, the hinge, goes out with one of us guys, she always gives the other guy an estimate of when she'll be back. She shoots us a call or email too if there's a significant change to the estimate.
 
do you usually give your other partner(s) a time frame for when you'll be home, a time that you check in, or do you leave it open-ended?
Click to expand...

All the above, depending on what I pick. This is just common courtesy if you live with someone so they aren't worrying. This doesn't even have to be with a date. It applies with going on with friends. If DH is home watching kid, I want him to be able to plan HIS evening without worrying about me.

It just takes a minute to say

"I'm planning to be home at X. Did you also need a check in over text? "

"I am planning to leave it open ended for when I get home. Did you also need a check in over text?"

Galagirl
 
I don't live with my partners but I usually let real know when I'm home safe for the night. If our overnights are extending beyond original plans he texts lady to let her know. You know just common courtesy stuff. No rules around it if that is what the OP is asking.
 
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