zigzag
New member
After embracing polyamory we have decided, given our current relationship, to come out to several people, mainly to avoid lying and to avoid other people being hurt if/when they found out. We don't feel the need to tell the world, nor see any reason to discuss our domestic or sexual arrangements.
We have told our daughter (24, who lives in another country) and that went well, then badly, then well. I say badly several days after she said she was Ok, she had a major moan at us about "our behaviour" in the "family home" which was so out of character for her and her liberal upbringing, but really that seemed more about insecurity in her own relationship than ours, so we just listened and supported her and she subsequently apologised and now seems pretty cool about things. I think its hard sometimes for younger people to realise their parents still have romantic feelings and desires and are not going to be set in stone from the moment they leave home.
I have told one very long term friend and she was supportive, concerned about me, at first, but very caring and understanding.
Wolf has told his best friend who was very supportive and wants to come and meet us and stay with us.
The big challenge is that Angel and I yesterday told another couple who we would describe as our joint best friend couple because we did not like lying to them and also importantly because they were also very good friends with Wolf and the situation was becoming really impossible. We know that they are not very good at keeping secrets so suspect that overtime other people in our social circle will come to know. At first they thought it was all a bit of a joke, then they were a bit incredulous and then said they were OK. We will have to wait now to see. They are coming for dinner Saturday.
We see no reason to make any other announcements.
Going forward we think we will adapt a policy of answering straight questions if asked but not volunteering information. I have already had a conversation at a social event with an acquaintance that went.
Him. Your wife is very friendly with Wolf (they were holding hands and leaning against each other)
Me. Yes, she is
Him. Don't you mind
Me. No
Him. Why
Me. He's her boyfriend
Him. You mean like platonic
Me. No
Him. How does that work
Me. It works
A few minutes later
Him. So explain to me how this works
Me. I see Chelsea won 2-0....
I see no reason to discuss with anyone who sleeps whom, who writes poetry to whom etc
We have told our daughter (24, who lives in another country) and that went well, then badly, then well. I say badly several days after she said she was Ok, she had a major moan at us about "our behaviour" in the "family home" which was so out of character for her and her liberal upbringing, but really that seemed more about insecurity in her own relationship than ours, so we just listened and supported her and she subsequently apologised and now seems pretty cool about things. I think its hard sometimes for younger people to realise their parents still have romantic feelings and desires and are not going to be set in stone from the moment they leave home.
I have told one very long term friend and she was supportive, concerned about me, at first, but very caring and understanding.
Wolf has told his best friend who was very supportive and wants to come and meet us and stay with us.
The big challenge is that Angel and I yesterday told another couple who we would describe as our joint best friend couple because we did not like lying to them and also importantly because they were also very good friends with Wolf and the situation was becoming really impossible. We know that they are not very good at keeping secrets so suspect that overtime other people in our social circle will come to know. At first they thought it was all a bit of a joke, then they were a bit incredulous and then said they were OK. We will have to wait now to see. They are coming for dinner Saturday.
We see no reason to make any other announcements.
Going forward we think we will adapt a policy of answering straight questions if asked but not volunteering information. I have already had a conversation at a social event with an acquaintance that went.
Him. Your wife is very friendly with Wolf (they were holding hands and leaning against each other)
Me. Yes, she is
Him. Don't you mind
Me. No
Him. Why
Me. He's her boyfriend
Him. You mean like platonic
Me. No
Him. How does that work
Me. It works
A few minutes later
Him. So explain to me how this works
Me. I see Chelsea won 2-0....
I see no reason to discuss with anyone who sleeps whom, who writes poetry to whom etc
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