Hey there, I'm having trouble communicating with my significant other. We've been in a long distance relationship for a number of years and he's wanted to incorporate polyamory into their identity for maybe two years now. He gets really attached to people who are generally nice to him (and are aware of this fact) and tend to develop crushes (in their words)/feeling for them. He's only ever had one other person he's interested in at a time, but have pursued two partners who stuck around for about a month who have also been long distance.
Onto the whole communication bit; we have trouble expressing ourselves to each other and aren't physical people. We are fine with this. I hate to admit it, but I do feel neglected because a lot of their messages to their previous partners have been public and are usually really sweet, affectionate, and he just seem so genuinely excited talking to them. He use a completely different way of communicating with them that portrays this. I find myself feeling envious and because this is a terrible and unhealthy thing, I'd like to communicate better so that it isn't a problem.
When I'd say goodbye or goodnight, I used to throw in a little 'I love you' and wouldn't get more than a 'night' back. I kinda stopped trying and now I'm afraid it'll feel awkward if I suddenly say it. I've tried to leave him nice, affectionate messages every once and a while but it feels like its unacknowledged or brushed off and treated like a joke. Meanwhile, I can see similar things being directed towards their current crushes. We've talked a bit about how he has trouble expressing himself and how he considers himself awkward, mentioning that he becomes more relaxed and joking with those that he is close to knowing he can get away with it which describes our relationships well. The only time this bothers me is when I'm trying to be affectionate and despite my insecurity he's made it quite clear that he wants to be in a relationship with me.
Theres a lot more to our history, but that should cover it in this case. Thanks in advance!
Onto the whole communication bit; we have trouble expressing ourselves to each other and aren't physical people. We are fine with this. I hate to admit it, but I do feel neglected because a lot of their messages to their previous partners have been public and are usually really sweet, affectionate, and he just seem so genuinely excited talking to them. He use a completely different way of communicating with them that portrays this. I find myself feeling envious and because this is a terrible and unhealthy thing, I'd like to communicate better so that it isn't a problem.
When I'd say goodbye or goodnight, I used to throw in a little 'I love you' and wouldn't get more than a 'night' back. I kinda stopped trying and now I'm afraid it'll feel awkward if I suddenly say it. I've tried to leave him nice, affectionate messages every once and a while but it feels like its unacknowledged or brushed off and treated like a joke. Meanwhile, I can see similar things being directed towards their current crushes. We've talked a bit about how he has trouble expressing himself and how he considers himself awkward, mentioning that he becomes more relaxed and joking with those that he is close to knowing he can get away with it which describes our relationships well. The only time this bothers me is when I'm trying to be affectionate and despite my insecurity he's made it quite clear that he wants to be in a relationship with me.
Theres a lot more to our history, but that should cover it in this case. Thanks in advance!
