Hi all. I am not sure what I am doing writing on this forum, but here I am. So let's see what happens.
First off, I am very much a monogamous person, who is very muchly in love with a polyamorous one. We have been talking for almost a year, but in the last couple of months things have became VERY much more serious. Being the only mono here, I am in need of some major advice.
Harlan and his wife have been living this lifestyle for a little over 8 years, so they are very much okay with it, and it doesn't seem odd to them at all, which is wonderful for them. But I'm kinda lost, for lack of better words. They live together with her live-in boyfriend also, which is okay for all of them, who are constantly surrounded by each other and very close.
But for me it's kinda intimidating, almost. I mean, I rushed into meeting his wife and their children, because they meant so much to him that I just wanted to make him happy by meeting them. I was very glad I did, after I did it. But I realized at that moment how very hard this may actually be.
His wife is nothing like me. She is very muchly open with everything, her feelings, her thoughts, sometimes even things that don't need to be spoken about. I mean, I appreciate the fact that she pretty much has opened up her life to someone she barely knows, because she can see he loves me, but I'm also scared shitless.
Their perfect picture is someday us all living under one roof, being a big happy coexisting family. I don't know if I'm too mono, but I don't really think I could ever do that. I mean, it's hard for me to watch him show her affection, or talk about loving her, which I assume I will get used to, and it's just my human behavior getting the best of me. In my head, I know he loves her and his kids and I NEVER wanna come between them. I guess I just am wondering if it is selfish to want part of us to just be me and him. I don't need everyone knowing everything about me or us. I mean, I can hang out with all of them, and we all talk, but is there a point where I signed away all my privacy?? Does dating him mean I have to date them too? I know emotions are gonna get way worse before they get better. But I try to not get jealous that they are all constantly together and all happy, and I'm just chillin' alone doing whatever. I know its new and gonna take some work, but I need some direction. I tried talking to my friends and all I learned was that people can't grasp things they don't understand.
First off, I am very much a monogamous person, who is very muchly in love with a polyamorous one. We have been talking for almost a year, but in the last couple of months things have became VERY much more serious. Being the only mono here, I am in need of some major advice.
Harlan and his wife have been living this lifestyle for a little over 8 years, so they are very much okay with it, and it doesn't seem odd to them at all, which is wonderful for them. But I'm kinda lost, for lack of better words. They live together with her live-in boyfriend also, which is okay for all of them, who are constantly surrounded by each other and very close.
But for me it's kinda intimidating, almost. I mean, I rushed into meeting his wife and their children, because they meant so much to him that I just wanted to make him happy by meeting them. I was very glad I did, after I did it. But I realized at that moment how very hard this may actually be.
His wife is nothing like me. She is very muchly open with everything, her feelings, her thoughts, sometimes even things that don't need to be spoken about. I mean, I appreciate the fact that she pretty much has opened up her life to someone she barely knows, because she can see he loves me, but I'm also scared shitless.
Their perfect picture is someday us all living under one roof, being a big happy coexisting family. I don't know if I'm too mono, but I don't really think I could ever do that. I mean, it's hard for me to watch him show her affection, or talk about loving her, which I assume I will get used to, and it's just my human behavior getting the best of me. In my head, I know he loves her and his kids and I NEVER wanna come between them. I guess I just am wondering if it is selfish to want part of us to just be me and him. I don't need everyone knowing everything about me or us. I mean, I can hang out with all of them, and we all talk, but is there a point where I signed away all my privacy?? Does dating him mean I have to date them too? I know emotions are gonna get way worse before they get better. But I try to not get jealous that they are all constantly together and all happy, and I'm just chillin' alone doing whatever. I know its new and gonna take some work, but I need some direction. I tried talking to my friends and all I learned was that people can't grasp things they don't understand.
