Confused

G

Gria2004

New member
So I wrote in here about wanting to find someone. Well I have two options now. I don’t know what to do. Let me explain. A month ago I meet a guy on a plan we talked for three hours and kept talking that night all night. Then things slowed down in conversation. I two weeks ago said are you free you should come visit. He’s 2 hour and 15 minutes from me. He did spend the night all was great. Went home slow conversation again then I saw he hid a toothbrush at house. I asked him about it said that means I’m coming back. I said nice to hear from you final. He goes well I made the first move and cane up there. Now Mind you he was off fore three days no conversation. Before I found the toothbrush I asked if he come visit again since we’re both off. Him like that’s five days from now. Still no word on that.

Well In the meantime I like a girl online before all this and she finally liked me back. We went on a date all was great. She lives were I live and has been talking to me all the time. She busy but still wants to make this work.

What do I do now? Wednesday is coming and I have no idea is this guys coming to visit since his last answer. I don’t know if I want him to because I don’t want to mess things up with this girl. But don’t want to mess things up with him because I still like him as a friend and if timing was different I like to date him. Confused. I go from no one for year to now this.
 
YOU could clear even if he's not being clear. Could say something like...

"Since I didn't get a firm yes from you, I went ahead and made other social plans for ______."

Add this if you want to see him.

"I would still like to get together. I work best with actual dates. How about _____? Does that work for you? Or does another date and time work better?"

You haven't promised to be exclusive/go steady with either one. Be up front about that with both. Organize your calendar and date whichever one on the days you want to go out.

Or if you prefer to date one at a time? And the long distance guy has a vague planning style while the local gal is more on the ball and matches better with your planning style? Date her.

Galagirl
 
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Hiding his toothbrush -- o my, how terribly CUTE... not. :mad: That's territorial incursion, not much difference from pissing in the corners. He's claiming control over your space.

If it's not a date -- something you BOTH planned & you BOTH agreed to -- then it's not a date.

He's not free to simply show up on a random whim, unless YOU have specifically agreed that's a dynamic YOU want.

If he pops in while you have other plans, & you don't want this randomness, then (IMO) it'd be best if you tell him -- bluntly, clearly, in a few simple words -- that you don't want it. Then immediately send him home. If he's something other than a manipulative flake, he can contact you & make a proper date.
 
Ravenscroft said:
Hiding his toothbrush -- o my, how terribly CUTE... not. :mad: That's territorial incursion, not much difference from pissing in the corners. He's claiming control over your space.



If he pops in while you have other plans, & you don't want this randomness, then (IMO) it'd be best if you tell him -- bluntly, clearly, in a few simple words -- that you don't want it. Then immediately send him home. If he's something other than a manipulative flake, he can contact you & make a proper date.
Click to expand...

It my space I do what I want with it.
Yes he needed to make a proper date. They girl all ready has. Thanks.
 
Hi Gria2004,

It kind of sounds like the girl is your best bet, seeing as how she lives much closer to you, and is more responsible about making plans with you. That perhaps doesn't mean forget about the guy, it just means make him a lower priority. Anyway that's my take on the situation based on what I read.

Good luck, I hope all goes well
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Hi Gria2004,

It kind of sounds like the girl is your best bet, seeing as how she lives much closer to you, and is more responsible about making plans with you. That perhaps doesn't mean forget about the guy, it just means make him a lower priority. Anyway that's my take on the situation based on what I read.

Good luck, I hope all goes well
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Click to expand...

Thanks I did make her top Priority and it’s been the best.
 
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