Considering letting wife explore

[L0ck3dB0y]

I (M33) am considering letting my wife (F35) explore her sexuality with other men. My wife recently started taking travel contracts for work and we spend multiple weeks or even more than a month in between visits. We have a strong sexual relationship and have explored many things together. I asked her if I was OK with the idea if she would be interested in pursuing sexual encounters outside the marriage in the form of "hookups, booty calls, fuck buddies" etc. She said the idea is intriguing to her. We discussed it some more and I wrote some "spicy stories" for her involving another man which she enjoyed. Other than that she doesn't want to reflect on it or fantasies too much until I decide if I want to make it a reality. She doesn't want to open herself up to a real curiosity or interest if I'm not confident I want to try it.

This would only be poly wife. I have no desire to date or hookup outside of the marriage.

I'm looking for perspective from others who practice this or a similar arrangement. What is it like? How has it changed the relationship? We're there unforseen benefits or challenges? Any advice or thoughts would be helpful.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello L0ck3dB0y,

It sounds like exploring is a possibility for you. Not that you want to do it yourself, but maybe you are curious about your wife doing it. What you are proposing is an open/closed marriage, open for your wife, closed for you. This would be a little different than poly, as in poly there are romantic feelings for multiple partners, whereas you are proposing hookups and that type of thing. Be aware that sometimes romantic feelings can arise even if one doesn't intend for that to happen. Sex can lead to love. Before you go ahead with this idea with your wife, put some thought into whether you would be okay with it if your wife developed romantic feelings for someone -- and if not, how you would suggest preventing that outcome.

Let me know if I can help.
Kevin T.

 

[Magdlyn]

I (M33) am considering letting my wife (F35) explore her sexuality with other men. My wife recently started taking travel contracts for work and we spend multiple weeks or even more than a month in between visits.

We have a strong sexual relationship and have explored many things together. I asked her if I was OK with the idea if she would be interested in pursuing sexual encounters outside the marriage in the form of "hookups, booty calls, fuck buddies" etc. She said the idea is intriguing to her. We discussed it some more and I wrote some "spicy stories" for her involving another man which she enjoyed. Other than that she doesn't want to reflect on it or fantasies too much until I decide if I want to make it a reality. She doesn't want to open herself up to a real curiosity or interest if I'm not confident I want to try it.

This would only be poly wife. I have no desire to date or hook up outside of the marriage.

I'm looking for perspective from others who practice this or a similar arrangement. What is it like? How has it changed the relationship? We're there unforseen benefits or challenges? Any advice or thoughts would be helpful.

This sounds to me like the idea of "hotwifing." You think it would be arousing for you to hear about wife having casual sex with other men, maybe seeing photos or videos.

I'd suggest you go to the website Fetlife for information about this fetish, as there are plenty of people over there into it. This board is for polyamory. By the word "amor" in polyamory, you can see it means multiple loves, real romantic serious relationships with multiple people, not hook-ups or casual sex.

Sometimes a woman will fall in love with one of her supposedly casual sex partners, and then this situation can turn to one of polyamory, as Kevin has suggested. Beware of confusing fantasy with reality. Be prepared for this to happen. What would you do then? People are not tools or toys. They are real, with emotions, minds and and needs of their own.

 

[nks]

Hi, what you describe pretty much sounds like hotwifing. You can check out ourhotwives or similar boards for concrete advice. They have a lot of stories and guides on how to do it and what to avoid. It seems there are many couples who can make it work. It is often an extremely exciting thing for the husband. I am currently not in such a relationship, but have been interested in it for a long time, though I would prefer more stable relationships for my wife (she likes the idea of sex with strangers). My wife also occasionaly expresses interest. Before getting married, she said that she does not want to rule it out. I had an open relationship with an ex, but that was open on both sides, so do not have that much experience on this. Well, and yes, as a previous person said, love is also something that can happen. There will be a lot of emotional ups and downs that's for sure.

 

[Happy Cuckold]

Hotwifing or "cuckolding" is a wonderful lifestyle but you have to have a strong marriage and trust, a strong bond that will likely never break. Honesty is the number one thing, always talk to each other, even if it's about something that may be bothering you (or her). There should be no secrets and the "boyfriend/lover" should be someone you feel is a good match, not just someone that she feels fits her. Yes "fitting" for her is very important for a good sexual relationship, but he also has to "fit" for you as well in order for you to feel comfortable with him being your wife's lover. I've been a cuckold for 16 years and I have a lot of stories to tell lol. I've also met and talked to a great many other cuckolds/wittols, some who's marriages/relationships are fantastic, and some not so fantastic. Go slow with this and ALWAYS talk to each other, never break that trust.