Couple interested in me?

K

Kirakira

New member
Long story short, I use to work for this married couple and they would hint polyamory to. The man would say to me, "when you find yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend what ever you're into." A lot. He said it about three times when the topic of relationships came up. One day when I was leaving his wife said she'd text me later. The man said, "sext you later?" I said, "no, text." He said, "I bet you guys send pictures."

We do not. And she told him not to be weird and made a joke about it the next day. I no longer work for them and have been gone for a month or so. Last night the wife texted me and we talked for two hours about movies and t.v. Her husband was also talking to me but through his wife. Like she'd tell me what he said in response to what I said.

She told me I should talk to him about certain movies (because she isn't really into those movies and he is.) She then gave me their Vudu account info and said I can watch movies anytime. I'm not going to tbh because I'm to shy but I also don't want it to be one of those things like, "Oh we gave you this and that blah blah." you know? I maybe over thinking it but I did not put the full story here.

Most people online are telling me their unicorn hunters. I do not think they know a lot about polyamory. All the articles I read are negative towards unicorn hunting. Anyone have a good unicorn relationship? Idk if I'm into it tbh.

:confused:
 
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How old are you and how old are they?

I ask because you refer to the man as “the dad” at that is concerning. Age gaps can be fine, but age gaps coupled with unicorn hunting would be a red flag — it increases the power dynamic. And you already have a significant power dynamic at play in that they are your former employers...and it sounds like at least one of them was sexually harassing you while you were still his employee. Yikes, there is a lot here that I would probably advise you to run from.

Overall, it doesn’t sound like you are comfortable with any of this. If that is correct, I would probably just get some distance from them.
 
Hi! I definitely agree with above.

Personally, I have met people who like being the "unicorn ", but that was something they found out.

And if he didn't respect your boundaries at work, he probably wouldn't now.

Don't do anything that you don't want, listen to your gut. It feels hinky because, imo, it is. If you WERE to do this GO SLOW, talk and set out FIRM BOUNDARIES, and if they violate them, peace out. Create space between them now if you don't want to.

You deserve to feel respected and have the ability to make choices without pressure. They are making you uncomfortable, and beating around the bush.

I personally don't try partnering with people who are brand spanking new to poly. I don't want to be a teacher or a dictionary. My husband and I tried to find a unicorn once as an ideal, not a hard rule. Within a few weeks it was realized how trash it is. Even when we had a unicorn partner; it wasn't ideal and she became my meta instead. People who specifically hunt forna unicorn are sketch to me now.
 
Hello Kirakira,

It sounds like this couple may be interested in you; the question is, are you interested in them? If you are, the next step is to find out what (if anything) they are offering; then, decide whether what they are offering is something you want too. If it is, take it slow and keep it light at first. Be ready and able to back out if things go south.

Yes, things with unicorn hunters often go poorly, but not 100% of the time. You really have to judge based on the individuals, not on the relationship model. How does this couple treat you right now? Do they treat you good? with respect? How do they make you feel? Also, what do *you* want? Do you want a relationship with a couple? Things to think about.

Hopefully this thread is helpful so far.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
I think you should stop talking talking to this couple. They sound creepy and inappropriate. A mature couple would be able to ask you out in a direct way.

The guy sounds creepy and gross and sexist.

I'm really glad you don't work for them anymore. I don't think anything good can come from interacting with them.

You don't even say whether you like either of them at all? Like, it won't hurt you at all to walk away from these people and stop talking to them.
 
Honestly? I don't think you are overthinking it.

They basically sound like bad bosses who are coming on to you, their employee. How is that an awesome, appropriate or respectful business relationship? :confused:

Much less an awesome, appropriate, or respectful way to start dating you? :confused:

They sound kinda creeper. Keep away. Esp when you aren't even sure you are into poly. Since you no longer work there? I would suggest you cut off all contact. Take nothing from them and ignore the Vudu thing.

If you decide you want to explore poly?

First figure if YOU are actually into it. Not because some couple trying to lure you into their thing. But because YOU decide you want to go there. Then go find polite and respectful poly people to date. Not people who start hitting on their workers. They do not sound like they respect boundaries. :(

Galagirl
 
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I agree the guy sounds creepy
That was straight up sexual harassment while you were employed by them.

Remember to take the lead for yourself on this. You should decide what you might want out of it instead of just going for a ride.
 
They certainly sound like unicorn hunters to me, which has a hugely negative stigma in groups like this. I personally find any kind of "team dating" to be repulsive and would avoid it like it's on fire.

Kirakira said:
Idk if I'm into it tbh.
Click to expand...

In the end, this is all that matters. Are you into it?
Sounds like you're not, and you're being a doormat and letting these guys take out their horny fantasy on you.
 
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