Dating websites!
- Thread starter Chrisstar
- Start date
FallenAngelina
Well-known member
Would be great to have a sticky thread about this very common question.
Hi Chrisstar,
I have not had a great experience with dating websites. However I do know of several.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
I have not had a great experience with dating websites. However I do know of several.
- http://www.okcupid.com/
- http://www.beyondtwo.com/
- https://www.openminded.com/
- http://www.polymatchmaker.com/
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Belladonna
Active member
I have done ok on OKC but shut it down for personal reason.
Right now the most luck I have had is on tinder.
Also feeld and not too much luck on that.
Right now the most luck I have had is on tinder.
Also feeld and not too much luck on that.
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Belladonna
Active member
Sorry. Just "feeld".
It's ok. Gotten a few matches but nothing that has gone past the initial first day convos.
Honestly I think online dating is super hard but very doable but in person might be easier. I am part of a pretty big Facebook community and so many more like minded people this way.
To me online is more like speed dating and a numbers game. I did however find our current gf through online so I can't exactly talk too bad about it just you have to do a lot of leg work to find the right person.
It's ok. Gotten a few matches but nothing that has gone past the initial first day convos.
Honestly I think online dating is super hard but very doable but in person might be easier. I am part of a pretty big Facebook community and so many more like minded people this way.
To me online is more like speed dating and a numbers game. I did however find our current gf through online so I can't exactly talk too bad about it just you have to do a lot of leg work to find the right person.
Spork
Active member
I met Analyst on OK Cupid. He met Fire on OK Cupid. I'd also met Hefe on OK Cupid. Then I met Hefe at a discussion group I knew about through Fetlife. He came to the group hoping to meet me I think, but I didn't really click with him, don't think I was really in a mode of prospect-seeking...more a mode of um...discussion grouping. So I was not really analyzing him as potential partner material that night. Later Analyst, Fire and Hefe were my poly quad and that lasted for about a year.
Zen found me on Fetlife and sent me a message about some of my interests I'd mentioned (cartoons like Invader Zim and The Maxx, if I remember correctly)...and then through those messages asked to meet with me at a munch, and then after we talked a long time that night, used the Fetlife message system to ask if I might wish to play at a party, and then we negotiated our first scene that way, and we did nonsexual impact scenes at parties for about 2 months before I finally told him (via Fetlife message) that if he'd been waiting for my consent for a sexual relationship, well...he had it!
It's now been a year and we have a really great relationship!
Funny thing about this is that I tend to tell people that Fetlife doesn't really make that great of a dating website. I mean I guess it CAN but I see so many people who are on FL but not available, and then there are also so many who overemphasize the "I exist in time and space as a disembodied penis. I seek sex. Where all the single ladies at who wanna get their anonymous freak on??" And they don't know why, with all of those great pics of how well endowed they are and their list of kinky fetishes (so much butt stuff!) the girls aren't lining up to come meet at his house discreetly for wild monkey sexytimes.
Well...
Zen was not that guy. It doesn't matter what platform was the one he chose to approach me, since his approach was respectful and good. Very good.
Zen found me on Fetlife and sent me a message about some of my interests I'd mentioned (cartoons like Invader Zim and The Maxx, if I remember correctly)...and then through those messages asked to meet with me at a munch, and then after we talked a long time that night, used the Fetlife message system to ask if I might wish to play at a party, and then we negotiated our first scene that way, and we did nonsexual impact scenes at parties for about 2 months before I finally told him (via Fetlife message) that if he'd been waiting for my consent for a sexual relationship, well...he had it!
It's now been a year and we have a really great relationship!
Funny thing about this is that I tend to tell people that Fetlife doesn't really make that great of a dating website. I mean I guess it CAN but I see so many people who are on FL but not available, and then there are also so many who overemphasize the "I exist in time and space as a disembodied penis. I seek sex. Where all the single ladies at who wanna get their anonymous freak on??" And they don't know why, with all of those great pics of how well endowed they are and their list of kinky fetishes (so much butt stuff!) the girls aren't lining up to come meet at his house discreetly for wild monkey sexytimes.
Well...
Zen was not that guy. It doesn't matter what platform was the one he chose to approach me, since his approach was respectful and good. Very good.
FallenAngelina
Well-known member
I think that the best kept secret on Fetlife is that it's full of great men. There's a stereotype that the place is full of jerky guys, but my experience there with the men has been nothing but respectful and fun. And it's fun because it's not a dating site per se, but a social site. But a lot of dating goes on there.
I met a guy on Fetlife last February who lives 20 minutes from me and we fell deep, deep, deep in love. We always laugh when we think of where we met because the stereotype is that people are there to get their freak on and not to fall in love at all, but we sure did. I think that more dating sites should take a cue from Fetlife and make their websites more interactive and group social. OKCupid would be even better if it brought back its discussion forums.
I met a guy on Fetlife last February who lives 20 minutes from me and we fell deep, deep, deep in love. We always laugh when we think of where we met because the stereotype is that people are there to get their freak on and not to fall in love at all, but we sure did. I think that more dating sites should take a cue from Fetlife and make their websites more interactive and group social. OKCupid would be even better if it brought back its discussion forums.
Spork
Active member
*shrug*
Full of humans. Humans come in all sorts. I noticed that there was a LOT of crossover between my local kink scene and fetlife, and OK Cupid. Like I was still on OK Cupid for about 3 or 4 months after getting into the fetish scene and started seeing profiles on OKC of so many people I knew...it began to almost feel a bit odd. I was friends with these people. And looking at their dating profiles.
Most of the guys who have come right out of nowhere, who were not part of the actual fetish scene or going to events, but approached me on fetlife out of thin air like, those were guys where every single pic was one of their junk and they were trying to chat me up in uninteresting ways. Regardless if my profile said I was not looking for casual sex partners. I'm not saying they are jerks...but what they're selling, I'm not buying. Some gals might, but I'm not the one.
Honestly I'm not even sure that a lot of THOSE guys are even trying to get actual sex. I think a lot of them are either in relationships, or just timid as hell, and it gives them a thrill to talk dirty online, and show off their package (LOOK AT IT!) and look at pictures of women. I dunno. Whatever floats your boat I guess. There are two profiles exactly like that, that hit me up with friend requests every so often. Which I reject. There's never a message. Just a friend request from a disembodied penis.
Full of humans. Humans come in all sorts. I noticed that there was a LOT of crossover between my local kink scene and fetlife, and OK Cupid. Like I was still on OK Cupid for about 3 or 4 months after getting into the fetish scene and started seeing profiles on OKC of so many people I knew...it began to almost feel a bit odd. I was friends with these people. And looking at their dating profiles.
Most of the guys who have come right out of nowhere, who were not part of the actual fetish scene or going to events, but approached me on fetlife out of thin air like, those were guys where every single pic was one of their junk and they were trying to chat me up in uninteresting ways. Regardless if my profile said I was not looking for casual sex partners. I'm not saying they are jerks...but what they're selling, I'm not buying. Some gals might, but I'm not the one.
Honestly I'm not even sure that a lot of THOSE guys are even trying to get actual sex. I think a lot of them are either in relationships, or just timid as hell, and it gives them a thrill to talk dirty online, and show off their package (LOOK AT IT!) and look at pictures of women. I dunno. Whatever floats your boat I guess. There are two profiles exactly like that, that hit me up with friend requests every so often. Which I reject. There's never a message. Just a friend request from a disembodied penis.