I have been with my partner for 6 1/2 years and we recently opened our relationship (two months ago). He matched with someone fairly quickly and their relationship has gone from 0-100 at a million miles per hour. I feel like I am running to catch up and I have had to get used to a lot of firsts in a very short space of time. They met 3 weeks ago, she lives close (a 10 minute walk) and over the past 3 weeks he has been seeing her almost every other day.
I do not function very well when I'm tired, so I've communicated in the best possible way that I'd like him to respect this, and either come home "school nights" at a respectable time (i.e before midnight) or stay over at her place. We both work 9-5 office hours.
He has communicated that he doesn't deal well with curfews and time constraints, as it is harder to "live in the moment". We also don't agree on the definition of "late" as he is able to function when he is tired, and his secondary is a night owl and stays up till the early hours of the morning.
Last Tuesday he said he "wouldn't be home late" and knowing we argue on this definition, I asked him to estimate a time, and he said "before midnight". He texts me at 11:52pm "about to get back home". At 12:25am I wake up, check my phone, he's not there, so I text him and he replies at 12:43am "I'm right here, 5 mins" but eventually comes in at 01:20am. I try my absolute best to switch off, distract myself before bed and focus on "me time" but I can't switch off or fully sleep until he is home. He has had four sleepovers and they're getting progressively easier to deal with - I am actually able to sleep fairly solidly.
I am not sure how to deal with this - advice please!
I do not function very well when I'm tired, so I've communicated in the best possible way that I'd like him to respect this, and either come home "school nights" at a respectable time (i.e before midnight) or stay over at her place. We both work 9-5 office hours.
He has communicated that he doesn't deal well with curfews and time constraints, as it is harder to "live in the moment". We also don't agree on the definition of "late" as he is able to function when he is tired, and his secondary is a night owl and stays up till the early hours of the morning.
Last Tuesday he said he "wouldn't be home late" and knowing we argue on this definition, I asked him to estimate a time, and he said "before midnight". He texts me at 11:52pm "about to get back home". At 12:25am I wake up, check my phone, he's not there, so I text him and he replies at 12:43am "I'm right here, 5 mins" but eventually comes in at 01:20am. I try my absolute best to switch off, distract myself before bed and focus on "me time" but I can't switch off or fully sleep until he is home. He has had four sleepovers and they're getting progressively easier to deal with - I am actually able to sleep fairly solidly.
I am not sure how to deal with this - advice please!