Ductcha intro

Ductcha

New member
So hello everyone. My real is Brian. I'm 35 and married. My relationship with poly has been complex, rewarding, stressful, and pretty much any other emotion you can imagine. I have been poly for about 5 or 6 years.
So some history, I'll not be including new events or stuff. I'll include a line break if you want to skip this part. Anyhow, I first considered poly with my first marriage. I offered it to my then wife because I was her first. She didn't like that, cheated on me for years until I gave up and divorced her. Fast forward to the next woman, e. She was smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and matched me sexually. A few years in she asks for poly. I agree. It started as sexual poly, but we all know after a year of sexual encounters someone is bound to catch feelings. I handled this poorly but for a newbie I was passable. The problem happened when I mentioned a girl I was interested in. E flipped out on me. Dictated that our poly was for her, and that I was to remain mono. Fighting and stuff happened. We returned to mono. She cheated, I forgave. We tried poly again, that ended with her loosing all contact with earth and spending a few days in inpatient mental health services. We waited a few years before trying again. I found the most incredible poly woman I ever met, and I started to fall in love. But my wife couldn't handle that. She ended the relationship right before Christmas. Eventually my wife warmed up some and so her and I tried again. It seemed perfect. Flawless. I felt important, valued, special. My wife had a boyfriend I also liked. (Sexually too even). But as typical E bulldozed through that guy and scarred him off. She was still ok with the other woman but could not handle me maintaining any platonic relationships. Needless to say I lost the girl, my friends, everyone but my wife. That was 4 months ago. This is the short short version and I left out alot of my screw up. I'll add them as time goes on


So why am I here? To learn a few coping mechanisms, and some communication skills. Plus I would like to "dip my toes" into the community.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings Brian,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. The gist of what I said is that you need to identify the worst thing that could happen, then figure out how you would deal with it if it did happen. As for communication skills, NVC might be helpful. In any case, continue to read and post on this site, and continue to ask questions as they arise. Good luck!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Top