Emotional Affairs (so-called)

FallenAngelina said:
That's great to hear, River. Those of us who have known terrible social anxiety appreciate all the more what it means to live with less and less of it.
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Have you suffered from social anxiety, F.A.? (Feel free to replace the word "suffered" with another better suited word if necessary or helpful.)
 
Kevin, absolutely. You get what I'm trying to say even if I'm not being particularly coherent about it.

The point is that human nature is such that *some* people will always find others to put down, hurt, demonize, etc. Why they do it might be due to a variety of factors, but it is always going to happen, just as judgment, liking or disliking, loving or hating, etc. is always going to happen. Because humans.
 
At least it's always going to happen in this lifetime. Give humans another thousand or million years, maybe they'll improve.
 
I think to love and show kindness to others you have to have experienced it being shown to yourself.

I don't think anyone is inherently mean but lots of very common childrearing practices are really quite unpleasant and not nurturing of loving sensitive feelings. It's common for parents, nurseries and schools to be very dismissive of a child's feelings or rights. I don't wonder that they grow up to treat others this way.
 
@ Confused ... you're probably right. Not that I think humans are naturally mean, I think meanness has to be taught and learned. But are we teaching our children by the right example?

@ KC43 ... humanity may well self-destruct at some point, but I try to be optimistic about that. We're probably at a delicate point in our evolution. We have the means to destroy ourselves, and enough meanness to contemplate such extreme action. If we survive the next hundred or thousand years, things might get a lot more hopeful.

Anyway, such is my optimism talking.
 
River said:
Have you suffered from social anxiety, F.A.?
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Yes - terribly. Can't really trace it to any particular reason (other than perhaps epigenetic Jewish angst) but it's been crippling - and suffer is exactly the right word. When I turned 50, I decided to change a lot about my life and "fade out social anxiety" was at the top of my list, second only to "have much better sex."
 
F.A., I'm so glad you have healed that pattern in your life! and that you've come to appreciate your relative freedom in light of the contrast.
 
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