Etiquette when going out with my partner and her new boyfriend

[nightwalker]

I feel totally confused about how to behave when out with my primary partner and her new boyfriend. She is head over heels for him at the moment. So should I let them hold hands and sit together on trains, buses, etc.? It feels strange, as I am so used to holding hands and sitting with her myself.

 

[Ariakas]

Why can't you both do it?

One thing I have learned and sometimes forget in poly is to try not to overthink every move. It's torture.

There is a flow to relationships, so try and work within that flow, and hopefully everyone gets the time they need. If you don't get the time you want, then verbalize it. That's pretty much all you can do.

You might want to do some reading on NRE, as well. Lots of great posts about it. There are a lot of rose-coloured glasses being passed around at the early stages of a relationship. As long as you know of the potential problems then you can nip them in the bud.

 

[Fidelia]

I second what Ari said. Good call, Ari.

 

[nightwalker]

Awkward

He doesn't get close to my partner when I am around, and pretends I am invisible when I am there. Maybe time is needed for us all to get more comfortable.

 

[redpepper]

I feel totally confused about how to behave when out with my primary partner and her new boyfriend. She is head over heels for him at the moment, So should I let them hold hands and sit together on trains, buses? Feels strange, as I am so used to holding hands and sitting with her, myself.

I don't hang all over my bf Mono when we are out, or my husband PN, or my gf Derby, for that matter, out of respect for them all.

You can ask for what you want and start negotiating what fits for all of you. I think the ball should be in your court on this one. You can set the boundary as to what would be most comfortable.