Evolving

[Gardener9]

Just wanted to say hi friends -

Have learned so much from all of you recently and eager to join the conversation. Thanks especially to all of you long time moderators, staff, and contributors for sharing your wisdom and experience in matters of the heart.

My wife of nearly 30 years recently began dating another woman seriously after having come out to me as bisexual/pan/demi several years ago. While I'm a straight guy currently mono with her, I wanted to chime in with the other mono-polies here with a so far very positive experience. We still love each other very much and are deeply committed to one another.

While I haven't decided yet if I'll date another woman as part of our new arrangement, I'm really intrigued at the idea. If anything, my wife has taught me that it is indeed possible to have a heart big enough to love more than one person in a deep, meaningful way.

I think most of my friends would describe me as warm-hearted with a good sense of humor. I'm a reader and thinker (hence my new interest in this forum) who's been in and out of academia. Love nature, outdoors, gatherings, getting to know interesting people. Big allies to the LGBTQIA community. We're in the Madison, WI area.

Look forward to meeting and learning from you all!

 

[Tinwen]

Hi there, sounds all great and happy to hear a positive mono-poly experience for once!
Pity that we are an ocean apart

 

[Gardener9]

Hi there, sounds all great and happy to hear a positive mono-poly experience for once!
Pity that we are an ocean apart

Hi so nice to meet you Tinwen! Yes, positive, but to be fair to everyone here "positive" does not equal "perfect" as we all know. We've definitely had our growing pains with all the standard challenges along the way. The full range of emotions too: from jealousy to compersion.

As wiser folks here have already shared, it takes lots of respect, love, and communication to get to "positive." We continue to learn. I look forward to joining in on some of your threads!

 

[FiveThumbs]

Greets, Gardener, I feel a connection as my wife of 35 years and I are engaging in conversation about nonmonogamy also. I feel willing, but she does not, so in order to proceed we will need to separate, so I can't offer us up as another positive example, sorry to say. But I am glad it is working for you and wish you the best. I admire your generosity to and support for your wife.

 

[Gardener9]

Greets, Gardener, I feel a connection as my wife of 35 years and I are engaging in conversation about nonmonogamy also. I feel willing, but she does not, so in order to proceed we will need to separate, so I can't offer us up as another positive example, sorry to say. But I am glad it is working for you and wish you the best. I admire your generosity to and support for your wife.

Thank you FiveThumbs for your kind words. And for your honesty. As others before me have shared in this forum, this can be a lot of very difficult work - which may not always come to fruition in the way we hope. Although we are stable and mutually supportive now, in the initial days our path was not so clear. I was unsure if I could do this. I hope that wherever the path may lead you and your wife, you both find what you most need.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Gardener9,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

That's awesome that you have had a positive experience in mono/poly so far. It sounds like you are considering poly for yourself, your wife has led the way. I look forward to your future posts on our various threads and boards.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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