Feeling concerned

M

mtncouple

New member
Hi there!!

Here is my situation, tell me what you all think. Any advice, stories, words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

I'm 46, kind of shy at first, somewhat sexually conservative. Meaning that I want to really know a person and have a connection with someone before I jump into bed with them. my partner and I also live in a very small community and there are not a lot of like-minded people where we live. I'm on a few Polly pages in different places, and I have Facebook poly friends that do House parties in Denver once a month, but I'm not really comfortable hanging out at somebody's house that I don't know. We have also been to a couple of swingers clubs, kind of cool, but not really my scene.

So.... Am I pretty much doomed? Has anyone had any success in finding someone in this kind of situation?

Thanks!!!!
 
I have met every single partner while out enjoying my life.

Not through poly groups or etc.

There are many many ways to meet people.
 
I've met several of my current and past partners on dating sites. In fact, until five or six months ago, that was the *only* way I met people who I ended up dating for any length of time. I live near a major city, and there's a fairly active community here, but I don't belong to any groups or clubs or whatever, don't really have any hobbies, and am not always good at talking to people I don't know well. So online was really the only way for me to meet people for a while.
 
Hi Michelle,

I am wondering if you have tried OKCupid? It's poly-friendly, and very active.

Sometimes you find out that someone you thought you knew well is actually more into poly than you thought they were. So don't give up hope of finding someone in your small town! Also there is the idea of meeting people in neighboring towns.

Even FetLife can be helpful! (Some folks see poly as a kind of kink.) Anyway, I hope you'll find someone soon.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
I had not heard of Kasadie before. What is it like, is it good? Is it a poly-friendly dating site, or --? I am just wondering.
 
Kasadie's not too bad actually. It says it's poly friendly, but it's more swingers. They have some good boards and pages. We actually got more responses from there than anywhere else
 
Okay, cool. I am thinking I will add it to my list of recommended sites.
 
Hi I'm not particularly shy but defiantly an introvert and live in a small community too, so understand where you are coming from. I have not had much luck with dating sites TBH, but have in "general life" but that has generally been to meet poly compatible mono women. We have had much better success with clubs but not clubs that identify as only "swingers clubs". There are a few of those and they are mainly just for sex and don't do anything for me.

However, we have either here in France and over the border in Belgium a few "Libertine" clubs these tend to be much more like social clubs and attract a range of people who are and/or: Couples, Singles, Poly, Swingers, LGBTQ, Exhibitionists, Naturists, Cross dressers, BDSM followers etc. And we have both made quite a few friends with poly singles and couples. There is food, music, bars, a garden, a BBQ, Jacquzi etc daytme and evening events and often costume theme nights like Halloween, Carnival and Movies which help break the ice and allows us introverts to hide behind a mask!! The mix people make me feel more at home than I would in a general nightclub or social club.

So maybe you should look to see if there are any such clubs like that near you, I know of similar clubs in Holland and Germany. (we have to travel two hours but its worth it).
 
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