Feeling excluded in poly relationship

[Leetah]

As to the inevitable running into him while in his town. You perhaps should treat it as we are advised to treat our child tantrumming for a treat while out; always be ready to just turn and leave, abandoning a cart full of groceries if necessary. Do not be on tenterhooks always glancing over your shoulder and around corners, unless you really find that fun. Just go about your business with the relaxed attitude that if you have to come back later or go somewhere else to get something, then that is OK. Don't worry about confusing him or him making a scene. That is for him to deal with, not you.

Leetah

 

[kdt26417]

Re (from polypet):

"Do I tell him or just go there."

Doesn't seem to me like telling him would do you any good.

Re (from polypet):

"I am worried he will work his way back into my heart if I come face to face with him."

Which could happen regardless of whether you tell him you'll be in town. Like the others said, if and when you do run into him, flee the scene immediately.

 

[Magdlyn]

Where is your anger and dignity? You're afraid he could melt your heart again after the crap way he and the other woman treated you? Fuck that shit. He acted like a douche. You deserve better.

 

[polypet]

Where is your anger and dignity? You're afraid he could melt your heart again after the crap way he and the other woman treated you? Fuck that shit. He acted like a douche. You deserve better.

Yes they did treat me like crap and he was a huge douche. However, anger is not an emotion I typically feel. Sadness, hurt, disappointment but not anger. I admit I have made a lot of headway in how I feel about him, I have let go of many of the illusions I had about them. I appreciate the consensus that I should just avoid him at all costs.

It is difficult when you have nobody to talk to about this in your daily life. That is why I turn to polyamory.com.