Finally

[Unburdened8]

Hello,

I was looking for someone to talk to about this. Glad I found this forum.
I am a man in my early 50s. I have often struggled with a feeling of excitement when that I believe I was covering up with jealousy and control. I did not think I was allowed to have these feelings. It is strange because I have never been a person who thought that I cared about what other thought about me.
Have you ever realized one day that you have been wrong about something your entire life?
It is yes, a inherently sexual thing because I don’t get this feeling when my partner is talking to women, only men. She seems excited and very focused. I know what she is feeling because I get it when talking to women all the time. It is natural and nice, a gift of life.
I have expressed to her how that made me uncomfortable, but did it. Yes, only because it got me excited in that way that I felt so strongly I could not express or be rejected as weak or whatever.
Anyway have had an epiphany about myself.
I am treading new water.
I hope this makes sense.

 

[Magdlyn]

You might be talking about a sexual fetish some people call cuckolding. But actually, it's quite normal to feel excited by knowing your partner (or any other person, for that matter, ie., in watching porn or just a regular movie with some romance or sex in it) is excited.

You might want to read the book Sex at Dawn, which delves into prehistoric human sexual behaviors, as well that of as groups who still live in small tribes or isolated villages in the same way they have for millennia. It also covers the sex that our closest primate cousins, the great apes have, and shows how it differs from or is the same as how we have sex, and how we feel about sex.

The patriarchy and possessiveness of men over women is actually quite a new experiment in human history, and it is losing ground again today. So now we can figure out what is "normal" and what is a cultural-economic addition that actually goes against our biological urges.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Unburdened8,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It is perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling. It is often called, "compersion." It sounds like you and your partner are just getting started on the poly journey. I hope Polyamory.com can help you navigate. If you have any questions, let us know!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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