Finding my feet

S

SealingTheDay

New member
Hi! I'm Nate from the Southwest of Great Britain.

I'm starting out on my journey with the best of intentions and lots of love to give. Unfortunately, it feels like, in true ADHD fashion, it comes out in energy-filled intense bursts, then I'm full of regret and overthinking.

I recently had another reminder of a relationship dynamic between myself and a couple, which felt so natural to me and comforting, with lots of love, joy and compersion going around.

I think a clingy, maybe fear of loss in the moment feeling tends to activate my hyperawareness of everyone, and I try to manage, help or address other's feelings, making the assumption there's anxiety/discomfort. It's a difficult situation when you feel and see it, but then over-communicate, perhaps making things worse.
 
Greetings SealingTheDay,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I take it the relationship between you and the couple has ended, even though it was very good while it lasted. It sounds like you are single again, and are just trying to figure out the next steps. I'm sorry for any heartache you may have endured, and I hope Polyamory.com can be of some help to you, in figuring out what to do next. I'm glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!
 
Oh no, there isn't anything currently established yet. It may be simply a FWB situation, it may turn into more, or it may fizzle out along with the NRE, due to overthinking and over-communicating, if that's possible.

It feels like considering and voicing different potentials for hurt or misunderstanding can be seen as too overwhelming or even unattractive in showing concern or worry.

It's my first real chance to experience what I've always felt was right for me, after a lifetime of monogamy and all its limitations and for some dysfunctions.

If anything, though, it's reminded me of that feeling of comfort, completeness, safety and the open door to a whole host of different dynamics & feelings between each person, and together as a group.

Hopeful with everything crossed!

Also, thank you for the welcome reply. ^.^
 
It sounds like you are in the early stages of your relationship, like it is only maybe in the FWB stages, and you can't tell where it will go, it might get more serious, or it might fizzle. Try not to over-worry or over-think about it!
 
kdt26417 said:
It sounds like you are in the early stages of your relationship, like it is only maybe in the FWB stages, and you can't tell where it will go, it might get more serious, or it might fizzle. Try not to over-worry or over-think about it!
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Yeah, I might have overcooked it already, with managing potential misunderstandings, second-guessing myself from the intense emotions. -.-
 
Well don't assume you've overcooked it, just make adjustments that make sense to you about how you approach it, and stay with it. If the other person breaks up with you, that's their decision.
 
Yeah unfortunately it didn't transpire and I think im still misunderstood. Finding it hard not to revert back to masking and being closed off. Reqlly need to find my community of people who understand and appreciate me in it's entirety 😔 fingers crossed. Off we go!
 
Good luck, I hope Polyamory.com can help you along the way.
 
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