Forums: Help or Hinder?

If I didn't have this forum I'd be lost. It has really helped me -- my poly life is a deep secret that I have only shared with one trusted friend, and even she is a little freaked by it!

My husband has been on a few times but he tends to get cranky after being here. I think he loses perspective that everyone does poly in their OWN way, and that what works for some might not work for others (us), and in fact could be disastrous!

Coming here to read the stories of others is refreshing after an entire lifetime of fairy tales, "Christian values," and monogamy-ONLY romantic ideals. Also after a lifetime of hearing what SLUTS people are who love more than one person :( . I have met so many wonderful people on here who I admire and respect.

For me the downfalls on here are:

1. There is too much information for me to navigate through and not enough time. I am not sure if anyone has any suggestions for narrowing it down - ? I am simply overwhelmed every time I sign on.

2. I am sad that everyone lives so far apart. For example, I am very envious of the CANADIANS, who have gone camping and bonded in Real Life!:D

3. I also wish there were a place for members only, as I am still skittish over privacy issues. Unfortunately, at this point I can't imagine posting pictures of myself or my family.

I often tend to write faster than I think, so I hope you all forgive me for my frequent ramblings. I am extremely humbled by the fantastic writers on this forum!
 
River said:
This sort of request would perhaps make more sense if people in the fora were required to use their actual name, but since most all of us are using pseudonyms there seems little need to protect privacy by hiding behind a search engine / topic search firewall. What is the concern behind this request?

I find search engine accessibility here useful to the fora in various ways. But I'm certainly open to a discussion on the matter (as a former and early moderator / administrator on the site).
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The owner of this forum wants it to be as accessible as possible. We tried making it "registered viewers only" once and he didn't want it that way so it was put back to the way it is now. This is not something that is up for a vote or a debate. Of course, people can debate about it all they want, but it ain't gonna change.

If you don't want your personal life known on the internet, then don't write about your personal life on the internet. It really is that simple.
 
Carma said:
1. There is too much information for me to navigate through and not enough time. I am not sure if anyone has any suggestions for narrowing it down - ? I am simply overwhelmed every time I sign on.
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If you click on "quick links" then "todays posts", that will give you a list of only the threads that had been posted THAT DAY.
THEN, if you get through those and still have time, you can start searching through randomly. ;)

Also-for myself, I avoid the intros page and the "new to poly" pages unless time in in my hands. Most of those pages are repetitive. ie people introducing themselves and asking "OMG how do i deal with poly" type questions. It's GOOD to pop in and answer them periodically-but I keep that for "free time" after I've gotten my "fill" of helpful info from the other boards.

Same with spirituality & polyamory, meetings & events, Press & media coverage and all of the listings under dating. I skip those unless I have a lot of time and nothing else to do.

;)
Much less overwhelming.
 
I have set it to subscribe to threads I reply to, but not send any alerts. When I log in, the first thing I do is check my control panel, and I see all threads I've posted in that got new replies (I also sometimes subscribe without posting if I have nothing to say but want to follow it). Then I check, usually, New to Poly, General Discussion and Press and Media Coverage for thread that seem interesting to me. From time to time I check for new blogs (I'm subscribed to a bunch) and that's pretty much it.
I don't think you can ever follow everything, so you need to take your pick at some point :)
 
I read everything on New to poly first, then general, then blogs, then fireplace (how are you), then back to new... I always start with the mods forum first to see if there is any business to take care of.

I read everything in new and general, never touch intros unless I am directed, tried to keep up with blogs but just haven't been able to. I follow some peoples, but not all, and fireplace I only read a few things..

The other places on here I hardly ever go unless there is some modding to do.

I like new to poly best. I like to read what new people have to say... and regurgitate the same ol' check this out, check that out bullshit.:p I'm like that at our local poly meet. I like to meet the newbies best :D
 
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