TattooedUnicorn
New member
I kept meaning to get one of these going but every time I remembered to do it...it was in a bad place and...well, quite frankly, I don't want to focus on just the bad. Even if, lately, that's been that status quo I figured it was time to get this going while things are...ok.
Suppose I should really start all of this from the beginning even if it is just regurgitation from my frantic and emotionally charged introduction post. As someone who favors order I think chronological bullets will be most helpful. Obviously this is not 100% complete as I have to use the way back machine. The listed events are just the largest ones to have occurred.
-August 2013: Mr. Uni and I met on on the ship(we were both active duty sailors). So much NRE, dates in Italy, total dream. Uh...was also sort of engaged at the time so...yeah my bad on that. Ended up breaking up with the finacee while on deployment. Yikes and double yikes.
(Things are going well during this in-between period. Even sex was happening but quickly lessening and starting to stress out Mr. Uni.)
-July 2014: I broached an open relationship. Seeing it work so well for others I thought it would work well for us. Still in throes of happiness my sexuality was...eh...kind of still there but, apparently, not enough for Mr. Uni(who at the time didn't realize he was Pansexual but had an inkling) and it caused strife for...well...quite a while.
(This is the quite a while. Lots of ups and downs.)
-September 2015: Mr. Uni had since left the Navy and was working on a degree for Exercise Science to eventually become a Physical Therapist. The open relationship topic had come up (as well as the lack of sex) and it was agreed that we would for sure open up while I was on deployment.
-During deployment(while I know the dates of the deployment it is kind of like groundhogs day and it all just sort of blurs together): Things are ok. I have no inkling to do anything with anyone on the ship. Mr. Uni sees a couple of people. One of them turned into a nutso stalker who tried to demand he run away with her to Colorado(I found this out this year, yikes) and one posted WAAAAAY too much on social media. Enough that, despite shitty internet in the middle of the ocean, I saw some and had to make a phone call home. Things were settled and they parted amicably later on for other reasons. (Side note: perhaps it is something that I need to work on but I don't like the social media posting very much. We are still closeted with open/poly and seeing some girl post about and to him a lot would make family super sus.) He also began seeing another chick, we'll call her Mermaid, who continues to be part of our lives today(despite us having moved away)
-July 2016: I find out I am being relocated to Spain for my next set of orders for 3 years. Deployment is fine to be apart but 3 years was too long. First the ultimatum of "you come with or we are over" came to pass. When it was agreed we didn't want things to end we had to get hitched(Military rules.)
-10 December 2016: We got married! Yay! Mother fuckin model-lookin-ass mother fuckers.
(Great deal of potential moving stress here. At the 8th hour it turned out Mr. Uni did not medically qualify due to mental health issues. My orders were changed and we stayed in Norfolk.)
-April2017: I worked night shift in the armory. Things are going alright with the open relationship with Mermaid. There are ups and downs but nothing too catastrophic. Mr. Uni is still upset and suffering confidence issues because I just don't want to have sex any more. It feels like a chore to me. I don't think he is ugly, quite the opposite, but I'd rather just look if I am honest. Sex feels more satisfying in my head than in person. Also: we begin sleeping in separate rooms. With my vampiric schedule it is easier this way for us. We also learn that....holy shit, having one's own space is fucking amazing.
-July2017: MASSIVE FUCKING REVELATIONS. I'm Asexual. Holy shit balls batman. So many things are explained suddenly and our relationship just soars. He understand that it's not that I find him grotesque or don't love him, I just don't like sex. The open relationship goes harder and while there are still bumps with learning proper communication, some rules, and boundaries. I even get to the point that I am ready to meet Mermaid. She is fun, I like her but the relationship is still a little scary but manageable.
-November2017: Not related but my beloved cat of 16 years passed away. It still hurts sometimes. I miss her.
(In this time I am given a new position at my command and will be on a normal schedule again. Yay!)
-06April2018: We become home owners! Luckily we still have our rental so we can paint the house and get it all ready to move in.
-Late April 2018: Disaster. I find out Mr. Uni and Mermaid had sex in our new house that we hadn't even moved in to yet. I lose my fucking shit. Loads of screaming and crying. While I am not sure what exactly got settled a new, and forever standing, rule was made: no sex with other people in a house we bought that we haven't even settled in to yet. As to my feelings on that....I didn't even have a chance for it to feel like our house before it felt....used I suppose? Tainted? Not a healthy way to look at it perhaps but....maybe it's a possessive issue. Though a house is, in fact, a possession and possibly it's ok to feel possessive over a possession. Whatever it is the rule stands.
Suppose I should really start all of this from the beginning even if it is just regurgitation from my frantic and emotionally charged introduction post. As someone who favors order I think chronological bullets will be most helpful. Obviously this is not 100% complete as I have to use the way back machine. The listed events are just the largest ones to have occurred.
-August 2013: Mr. Uni and I met on on the ship(we were both active duty sailors). So much NRE, dates in Italy, total dream. Uh...was also sort of engaged at the time so...yeah my bad on that. Ended up breaking up with the finacee while on deployment. Yikes and double yikes.
(Things are going well during this in-between period. Even sex was happening but quickly lessening and starting to stress out Mr. Uni.)
-July 2014: I broached an open relationship. Seeing it work so well for others I thought it would work well for us. Still in throes of happiness my sexuality was...eh...kind of still there but, apparently, not enough for Mr. Uni(who at the time didn't realize he was Pansexual but had an inkling) and it caused strife for...well...quite a while.
(This is the quite a while. Lots of ups and downs.)
-September 2015: Mr. Uni had since left the Navy and was working on a degree for Exercise Science to eventually become a Physical Therapist. The open relationship topic had come up (as well as the lack of sex) and it was agreed that we would for sure open up while I was on deployment.
-During deployment(while I know the dates of the deployment it is kind of like groundhogs day and it all just sort of blurs together): Things are ok. I have no inkling to do anything with anyone on the ship. Mr. Uni sees a couple of people. One of them turned into a nutso stalker who tried to demand he run away with her to Colorado(I found this out this year, yikes) and one posted WAAAAAY too much on social media. Enough that, despite shitty internet in the middle of the ocean, I saw some and had to make a phone call home. Things were settled and they parted amicably later on for other reasons. (Side note: perhaps it is something that I need to work on but I don't like the social media posting very much. We are still closeted with open/poly and seeing some girl post about and to him a lot would make family super sus.) He also began seeing another chick, we'll call her Mermaid, who continues to be part of our lives today(despite us having moved away)
-July 2016: I find out I am being relocated to Spain for my next set of orders for 3 years. Deployment is fine to be apart but 3 years was too long. First the ultimatum of "you come with or we are over" came to pass. When it was agreed we didn't want things to end we had to get hitched(Military rules.)
-10 December 2016: We got married! Yay! Mother fuckin model-lookin-ass mother fuckers.
(Great deal of potential moving stress here. At the 8th hour it turned out Mr. Uni did not medically qualify due to mental health issues. My orders were changed and we stayed in Norfolk.)
-April2017: I worked night shift in the armory. Things are going alright with the open relationship with Mermaid. There are ups and downs but nothing too catastrophic. Mr. Uni is still upset and suffering confidence issues because I just don't want to have sex any more. It feels like a chore to me. I don't think he is ugly, quite the opposite, but I'd rather just look if I am honest. Sex feels more satisfying in my head than in person. Also: we begin sleeping in separate rooms. With my vampiric schedule it is easier this way for us. We also learn that....holy shit, having one's own space is fucking amazing.
-July2017: MASSIVE FUCKING REVELATIONS. I'm Asexual. Holy shit balls batman. So many things are explained suddenly and our relationship just soars. He understand that it's not that I find him grotesque or don't love him, I just don't like sex. The open relationship goes harder and while there are still bumps with learning proper communication, some rules, and boundaries. I even get to the point that I am ready to meet Mermaid. She is fun, I like her but the relationship is still a little scary but manageable.
-November2017: Not related but my beloved cat of 16 years passed away. It still hurts sometimes. I miss her.
(In this time I am given a new position at my command and will be on a normal schedule again. Yay!)
-06April2018: We become home owners! Luckily we still have our rental so we can paint the house and get it all ready to move in.
-Late April 2018: Disaster. I find out Mr. Uni and Mermaid had sex in our new house that we hadn't even moved in to yet. I lose my fucking shit. Loads of screaming and crying. While I am not sure what exactly got settled a new, and forever standing, rule was made: no sex with other people in a house we bought that we haven't even settled in to yet. As to my feelings on that....I didn't even have a chance for it to feel like our house before it felt....used I suppose? Tainted? Not a healthy way to look at it perhaps but....maybe it's a possessive issue. Though a house is, in fact, a possession and possibly it's ok to feel possessive over a possession. Whatever it is the rule stands.