Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
What an emotional day. DarkKnight and I had discussed going out to see the original Willy Wonka movie but in the end I was just done and needed to be a vegetable on the couch for a while.

Tomorrow I am going to the vet first thing. DarkKnight took the day off of work - we are taking our cat Olivia to see about her weight loss, and also something funky with her ear. We will be talking about euthanasia, and when it may be warranted. She’s lost a lot and I am ready to say goodbye now. She has kidney disease, and I don’t want her to suffer, and I’d rather she pass while she is still happy. DarkKnight wants to keep her going for awhile longer. Hopefully the vet can give some guidance. It’s DarkKnight’s call though - he loves her so very much and I can’t take her away from him. Honestly too, there’s too much loss in our lives right now - I’m not sure any of us can take any more of it.

We had plans to go to Frederick all afternoon and evening together - walk around downtown and visit the shops (especially the rock shop!) and then have dinner and do an escape room. Well it’s supposed to be raining all day now, so I am trying to think of something else to do. Not sure at this point. I am super flexible. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam are kinda into whatever I’d like, but that’s not really all that helpful. Lol So we will see.

I’m buzzing on having a sleepover with SirGawain. Literally bouncing around like a lunatic. Yay NRE! That said, I was reading a series of posts I made on a Facebook Poly group back when our second breakup happened, and I was really sad at the hopelessness I felt then - I feel it really came through, how much I loved him and how down I was about not being able to make it work. I am still anxious about it, and a little nervous about him using me as a pump and dump. Like, I 98% don’t think that will happen, but that 2% sucks. Yuck. I don’t like not feeling confident, even in small percentages.

That said, MisterMoonbeam came to my rescue tonight for my unsated self, and I road him like a fucking trooper to a few really amazing orgasms. So I am in a very blissed out mood at the moment! 😆

Today I talked some serious stuff with the other guy I went on a date with last weekend, and I dunno. He seemed shocked that I was going on dates with my partners and with SirGawain over the next couple of days. Like, he had no clue that he’d have to tell me he wanted time in my life? I was like dude, I’m juggling A LOT right now and you know that. If you’re not going to be proactive about getting on my calendar for a second date, I’m just going to see where things go over text. So then he asked me more about my relationship “rules” so I sent him my standard cut and paste list of shit I send every dude I date, though I thought a lot of it was premature for where we are at - basically stuff about how I always wear a diaphragm, my thoughts about condoms, STD testing, and kink. He went silent for most of the night and then responded that he felt even more reassured about how I do Poly and safety stuff. Okay? Only he didn’t mention setting up another date. 🤷‍♀️ lol Whatever.

I did shut down OKC tonight. I am definitely going to be polysaturated moving forward and like I mentioned previously, I don’t feel a need for other partners. However, I am excited about being with SirGawain again. And fucking the cobwebs out with SirGawain. Lol In a way, I kind of feel good about not coming from a place of scarcity. I mean, as intense as the NRE is ramping up, if he does turn out to be a jerkface, I have support. I hope to hell he doesn’t though.

I am going in with the most open heart that I can have. This could be to my detriment, but I am fucking down for this relationship and I want it to work better this time. I am always candid with my partners, and try to communicate where I am coming from, and this time is no different. He told me the other day he has no idea why I would want him back - because he isn’t all that amazing. Hopefully he will be able to recognize how sincere I am.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
My loves took me out to Frederick yesterday and it was a very nice distraction. We went to a new theater and saw In the Heights. I can’t even tell you what the last movie I saw out was! Just being there was an experience, and this particular show did not disappoint.

In the evening, we went and did an escape room as planned, with SirGawain joining us. We won in half the time, and we all were jubilant and positive. I was so very happy!

By 8:30 pm, SirGawain was balls deep and I was THERE for what he was pushing. Omg, like I haven’t been fucked with such vigor and enthusiasm since before Covid. We had sex twice last night, which was unexpected. My dudes don’t usually recharge that quickly! Just thinking about it and writing here is getting me all flustered. Amazing.

He says he does want to be my boyfriend and wants to meet up at least twice a week if we can make it happen. I am super squeee!
 
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Bluebird

Well-known member
Yesterday - Saturday -SirGawain and I took his new kitten to the vet. Afterword we spent a chunk of the afternoon downtown at the Frederick Art Festival. It was hot, but not terrible like last weekend. It was humid though. We came back to Hagerstown for dinner with MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight. Then SirGawain and DarkKnight and I went to Shakespeare in the Park to see a Midsummer Night’s Dream together, which was hilarious and done really well.

What was kinda cool was that a young woman came up and introduced herself to me after the play - she knew me because of the Blessing Box, and we are friends on a Facebook Poly group. She had messaged me previously, about whether I was going to see Midsummer Night’s Dream, and was excited that she’d get to see me there. It was neat to say hi and connect, and she’s interested in volunteering with the Box. Sweet!

After the play, SirGawain and I came back to Frederick and hung out at Krispy Kreme together for a short bit, before heading back to his place, where he fingerbanged me into oblivion and I gave him a pretty good blowjob.

He’s going to be bringing me home later today, so our weekend together will come to an end. I am thinking I may stay over Wednesday night, but weekdays are going to be difficult - he doesn’t get home until 7 pm at the absolute earliest, and then I will have to be home at 6:30 am to take DarkKnight to work.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I had another good day on Sunday with SirGawain. More amazing orgasms, more heart connections. We went to Waffle House for brunch, and we were the only people seated in the entire restaurant. I’m not sure why I mentioned that last bit, but it was weird!

Plans are for me to come over for another sleepover on Wednesday night. I’m unsure if that will become a regular thing or not. I promised to give him 2 nights a week, and his work schedule is awful because of many reasons, including his long commute.

I want to write more but that will have to wait.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I finally wrote a post on my Blessing Box page for the little girl who passed. The first line finally hit in my head at 2 in the morning, and then it was easier. I am somewhat internally ashamed that it took 4 days, but it was too fresh. I needed the weekend to escape into happy, so I could now focus on the sad. It’s going viral - I’m almost at 10,000 views. No one is donating though, but I am not too surprised. It’s ugly. It’s an ugly thing that has happened.

I’m not sure what else to do but I am sure it will come.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Today was rough. I’m done. I need a reset.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh morning! Why does it have to happen in the morning? Lol I don’t feel refreshed, but I do feel loved, which goes a long way. I got lots of cuddly snuggles last night from MisterMoonbeam, and our 3-legged cat, Albus. Actually, I’m still feeling the love, as Albus is still partially on me, purring at my right hip.

Last night SirGawain called me on his way home from work, which reminded all of us that Father’s Day is Sunday. No one here had remembered! He is spending time with his brother and stepdad, and DarkKnight now has plans to go over and be with our kids that day. MisterMoonbeam is calling his parents at some point today to set up lunch. This leaves me all alone, as my father passed a few years ago.

At first I started looking at the state park map - I figured MisterMoonbeam could drop me off somewhere along his drive to Virginia, and I could get a long and peaceful hike in on Sunday. However, where his parents live in Virginia is a straight shot down 81. There’s no parks I haven’t visited in the area! Also, it’s supposed to be a rainy day. So, instead it looks like I may have another day in Frederick - this time having a second date with the OKC guy that I met up with a couple of Saturdays ago.

I’m kind of torn on this. One, there wasn’t a spark at all on my end. Not his fault, as I was buzzing with NRE with SirGawain. Also, it was just a first date, and I am not often hit with butterflies until a little later. So that’s not a big deal. He was personable and funny; we had a lot in common and shared interests. On a normal date (not involving SirGawain after) I would have signed him up immediately for another date.

Second though, he became extremely weird after the date. Our communication often seems to be at cross-purposes, as he thinks my words mean something that they don’t, and I read so much more into his comments than is warranted. It’s like we are looking for reasons the other person might be fucking with us. It’s exasperating, and it’s beginning to get exhausting.

That said, I believe those issues will go away once we have a second date. He seems to be putting himself up against SirGawain, like they are in competition. He doesn’t seem to care about DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam, but since he once was hooking up with SirGawain’s FWB, and they are aware of each other, it’s made him reactive to anything I say about SirGawain. Like, he will ask me what I am doing, and if I say texting with SirGawain, he gets…pissy? Flustered? I don’t know how to describe it.

I asked him about it and he acknowledged he is having emotions about things, but he isn’t sure at all why. And if I leave it open, like “chatting with people,” he won’t let that fly, and will ask “oh, is it SirGawain?” (This exact example hasn’t happened, but similar.)

I am thinking that once we have another date - and it’s a good one - that stuff won’t matter. Apparently he feels the same. I figure I will give him a second date and see what happens from there. If things aren’t improved, he’s outta my DMs and my life.

I am thinking I won’t give him a name until after I figure out how I feel on Sunday. Right now we don’t have any concrete plans, just that we are going to see each other.

The rest of the week is also only sort of planned out. Tonight I need to go and see my son and do some more packing up at his apartment, and measure some furniture there. Tonight I think MisterMoonbeam, DarkKnight and I are doing our weekly movie night, but I kinda wanna watch Robin Hood: Prince of a thieves because it’s the 30 year anniversary. We will see! Tomorrow MisterMoonbeam has a therapy appointment and I need to do my weekly consignment run. We will watch Loki together in the evening. Then I have a sleepover scheduled with SirGawain.

Thursday isn’t scheduled, but Friday night I will be back with SirGawain with a date day Saturday. No plans yet on what that looks like.

Gah! It’s 10 am. Gotta shower and open up the Blessing Box for 11 am.
 

politeme

New member
I read your post every day. Don you like to have fun with me. As I am from Karachi, Pakistan and am not exist in USA physically so, you can exchange your thoughts through post. If like, please write your thoughts.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Today was a good day. I helped a lot of people and I was having a good mental health day because of that. We had a lot of stuff move through - a new crib mattress, a double stroller, 2 doorway jumpers, lots of baby clothes, diapers, 2 high chairs, 3 microwaves and a Barbie Dreamhouse. Those were just the larger items. Oh, and a social worker stopped by to pick up a request for a cooler that plugs into your cigarette lighter in the car. A homeless person needed it to keep their insulin stable. I asked for one and received two. He was excited to get both!

I had some good, loving, playful sex with MisterMoonbeam tonight, so that was nice as well.
 
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Bluebird

Well-known member
A day off today - that wasn’t. I was up til 2 am, reading, and then I sprang up at 3 am with an idea for the “in memory of” for the little girl. I was up til 5 am working on the wording and setting up things behind the scenes. I’m excited about it, and I am getting good feedback from the handful of people I floated the idea to today.

I slept from 5 am to 9 am, and then rearranged my schedule so I could stay in bed longer, but pretty much all I did the entire day instead of sleeping like I wanted, was answering messages and trying to solve problems.

Last night, two different issues presented themselves that needed immediate attention - first was one of my volunteers has a son who was found nodding off, having been stripped of his wallet. Apparently he had been living out of his car for a few months due to his addiction. This was her first time discovering this, and she was frantic. I gave her some information about the rehab services BugGirl and GuyFriend have received, and told her to get him on the phone with a specific person. So today, that happened, and she called me in the afternoon crying her eyes out that he has a bed waiting tomorrow at 9 am.

Which is absolutely wonderful! She said I helped a lot, but now she needed more assistance - he only had the clothes he was wearing, and they were smelly and torn and terrible from living in them nonstop in his car. So I made a post, and pretty much all day long people were dropping off a full new wardrobe for him. By the time I left my house at 6:30 pm tonight, he had two brand new pairs of sneakers, socks, undershirts, boxers, tshirts, pants, shorts and a hoodie. He also needed some toiletries, so we got that worked out too. Yay! It was tiring to coordinate, but I will always be there for my volunteers - they’re there for me all the time!

I also was contacted last night by someone who was being evicted tomorrow, and had failed to rehome her two bonded adult cats. She has mental health issues, and was already spiraling because of the eviction. One day to find a home for a pair of cats that have to stay together? Gah! Oh, and one of them wasn’t fixed and had no shots. Well, by the end of the day I had secured a donor to pay for the neutering, had a rescue willing to transport for the surgery, and a new permanent home for both cats together. That literally came together as I was getting in the car for my sleepover with SirGawain.

So yeah, it was a tiring day, but extremely successful! Oh, and I also heard from GuyFriend in his rehab. He needs cigarettes and his paycheck brought to him on Friday, which I am willing to do. He was very excited to tell me about going to a halfway house soon and his plans. Which was fun, because I read a letter from him later, talking about how he signed up for a 27 week program to become a tech and how he finally had some direction in his life. I am so proud of him! I am really worried about how the breakup with my daughter will play out, but he talks about it a bit - saying if she doesn’t want him anymore, etc. But we won’t hear from her until she is past her 30 day blackout.

So yeah, anyway, I am writing this from SirGawain’s basement. He’s cooking me dinner and he’s very excited. I am less than thrilled about eating bbq ribs in bed - he doesn’t own a dining room table - but he’s cute so we will let that go for now! 😂 Still, that is definitely on the list for a must buy in the near future. It’s funny because that was the same thing with DarkKnight when I first met him. I don’t know why these dudes don’t seem to know how to purchase furniture! Oy!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
OMG can you say TIRED?! After a good night with SirGawain, I was up at ass o’clock this morning at 5:45 to go back to Hagerstown and pick up DarkKnight for work. Rather than grab something fast for the drive, I waited to see him and we had Starbucks together. We were only together for like 15 minutes, but I was left smiling! I love my DarkKnight!

I went home after dropping him off, and got caught up on the episode of Loki I missed last night. Both MisterMoonbeam and DarkKnight wanted to talk about it, so I needed to get it watched pronto! All I can say is I REALLY want a time variant jacket - so cool. Lol Last night instead of watching Loki, I saw three episodes of LetterKenny with SirGawain. Surprisingly, I really liked it and I will be binging this series soon! In return for that introduction, I promised SirGawain that we will watch Hamilton together tomorrow night. 😂 I think he’s not very enthusiastic, but I’m really not sorry. You can’t date me without at least having SEEN it. 😂

I’m about to leave now to head to Martinsburg to pick up this week’s donations. Today should be realistically busy so I need to get moving.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
776CFDF1-2CC0-460B-87A4-E6E1A1191761.jpegStarbucks!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
It is pretty like to see couples in the Picture attached. I think Its look like SirGAWAIN and you. Many thanks to introduced yourself. and I read your post is very interest as you write every day about your events what you do.
The picture is of me with DarkKnight! :) Sorry - I didn’t mean to make it ambiguous.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I just realized that I needed to update my signature to include SirGawain. 😁

Today was pretty great - one of my volunteers was able to come and help today, after being out of commission for a few weeks following a stroke. It was so great to have her out and about! Total I had 3 volunteers today, including a new person, so we got a lot done. I felt accomplished. Plus the weather was gorgeous!

Tomorrow I am supposed to go help BeanBoy and LittleMichigan pack up the apartment. I dropped off more boxes to them this evening.

I spent a short amount of time with Olivia tonight - she’s our cat with kidney failure. She went to the vet last Friday, and honestly, I think she’s looking worse. I asked DarkKnight and he started getting ready, but he agreed. When we saw the vet, she told us to go ahead and use up our special renal food, and then to go ahead and feed her whatever she wants. Well, she has enough food for about a month, but after discussing it tonight, we are going to go ahead and start letting her have treats at night now. She isn’t going to get better, and we want to bring her happiness for the time she has left. 😭
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I woke up this morning with a delivery of bread waiting for me on the porch. There’s nothing like being half awake outside, wearing old thin boxers and a tshirt with no bra, while trying to move large trays of buns and bread inside quickly. Thankfully I got it all finished, and no one came by except for one older woman, dropping off some other items.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I spent yesterday afternoon helping my son pack up his living room, which 95% of the stuff belongs to BugGirl. I found some stuff of her GuyFriend’s as well. He was looking for me to bring him his paycheck, but I couldn’t locate it. I messaged his boss, and it’s at his work. So I am going to pick it up on Wednesday and bring it over then. I did stop by his rehab and drop off a pack of cigarettes for him.

Today I finally got another chance for a hike. Sandy Point is state park number 23 for me on my quest to get 64 complete this year. SirGawain and I did a mile on the Blue Crab Trail and then parked our butts on the beach.

89930678-4570-409A-8910-9D4F04C0405D.jpeg
Here is SirGawain, walking ahead, anxious for this torture to be over. Lol He was a real champ, and I appreciated him indulging me today. He was woefully unprepared for a hike, owning no proper footwear - either for a jaunt along a trail, or for trotting along a sandy beach. I promised to take him tent camping in the near future. 😆😆 Also, I told him he could steal some of the photos I took today of him outdoors for his OKC profile, but the issue with that is that he may then attract the attention of other women wanting to hike, and then he’ll be trapped in more than one relationship where he’ll have to be hauled around outside. 😂😂
 
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