Things feel like they are sputtering to a close once again with the couple. It was silence from the both of them for a large part of the day, and then I finally messaged DreamerDude. I told him I was bummed that he hadn’t messaged me at all since he had left and said goodnight. He answered immediately, so I appreciated that. He said it had been a bad day and that the way we were doing things separately just weren’t at all how they expected, and his worst fear of his wife reacting negatively had happened.
Then later, MinnieMouse and I had a long back and forth, and she said that she never meant to imply that we were meeting up today to discuss things. Her texts were all over the place, I honestly felt. It seemed like she was gaslighting me, but I admit I am not ever in a good headspace when I get feelings like that. She has made exact opposite statements at different times - “no one has ever had an issue seeing you separately” - that was texted today, but like, DreamerDude has said more than once he has struggled with it. And prior to that, she texted a huge brick about how seeing me together is preferable because seeing me separately means they don’t have that time for each other alone. Um, okay?
I’m hoping tomorrow brings more clarity and if they don’t text me, I don’t believe I have enough fortitude to be involved with this any longer. I am willing to deal with their inexperience but only to a certain point. I want to give as much grace as I can, because I understand they are struggling now but, well, they need to work that out before dating. Bowing out sucks but I do not want to be hurt in this.
So I was down most of the day. More projects around the house were happening, but I didn’t do shit. Well, a load of laundry was folded and put away. Another was started in the washer. That was my contribution. Oh, and I helped DarkKnight plan a menu for the week. We agreed that SirGawain’s Super Soft Birthday Party (like from LetterKenny) will be on Saturday the 5th.
I was pretty tired. Our game night went to 11 pm, and my friend was here with us. We played a scenario of Mansions of Madness 2nd edition and we won, thanks to her. DarkKnight was insane. Lol It was a good time. Just like last week, everyone went to bed but SirGawain and I stayed up and hung out with her in the living room until 2:30 am! She and I reminisced about the two play parties we attended together, and the people there and the fun we had. She was in tears a couple of times, talking about her partner who passed in December. I think getting out and hanging with us gives her time where she doesn’t have to focus on her loss, until it does.
SirGawain and I messed around in the morning. We realized early in though that we didn’t have any condoms - we were all out - so no penis play was had. It was pretty similar to my encounter with DreamerDude, actually. It’s weird though, as I consider the finger banging and making out I did with SirGawain as us having sex. But almost the exact same thing with DreamerDude I consider just having fun. Neither of the encounters involved me touching their penis, and neither of them came. But I did orgasm with both.
When I think about it, it irritates me. Like, why? The main difference is that I love SirGawain, and the intentions I have when I am with him are that I want to reconnect. I love him. It’s fun and sexy and I’m having an amazing time, and there’s a trust there. With DreamerDude, it was playful and lusty but I definitely don’t trust him - if anything I am guarded now with my emotions. The intimacy is blocked. The acts though, are the same.
So anyway, I was tired AF today, physically and emotionally. Other people in the house handled the updating and remodeling stuff that is going on right now! They asked me questions and got my opinions, but that was about it.
MisterMoonbeam got the piping complete - finally - on the basement bathroom sink. It’s usable!
The basement bathroom sink is now dripping tiny amounts of water onto the floor. It’s leaking!
I resolved to not hear about the basement bathroom sink anymore.
All of the walls and trim in the basement bathroom are now completely painted. I think I may order a moon decal or other space motif to put on the wall facing the toilet.
DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam both individually and unsuccessfully searched for a set of hooks that would fit the shower door frame in the basement bathroom. Gotta think about this some more.
The damaged drywall by the front door where our Ring doorbell was installed is now repaired, sanded and painted.
The tile gap at the entrance of our upstairs bathroom has been caulked and repaired so the flaw in the tiling is less noticeable.
The open doorway entrance to the kitchen from the living room has had its trim all touched up and repainted white.
The existing front door trim has had one coat of paint put on. (Will need two or three.)
The hallway baseboards and doorway trim has had one coat of paint put on (Will need two or three.)
Wall touch up paint has been applied above a closet in MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom.
Tonight at bedtime, I had sex with MisterMoonbeam. I always feel so joyful with him! Again, no penetration other than with his fingers, but with him we also involved my hitachi so my toes were curling! He came all over my tits. This is really new to us. I really think stopping some of his medication has changed the blocks he had been experiencing somewhat. We talked about it afterward and we both feel good about it. Like, we’ve had sex twice this month where he actually climaxed. I think that’s happened a total of three times additionally over the two years we’ve been together! So that’s huge in our relationship! He’s still got a bunch of stuff to focus on in therapy, but it was a good thing. I love him so very much.