Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love


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After I wrote the last entry, I got into it with MisterMoonbeam. We had an emotional discussion for what seemed like an hour. I do r want it to sound like a fight, because it definitely wasn’t. But it was really charged on both ends and we both cried on different points. I guess we are good now, but I feel like we we having the same discussion every few months.

He did say that he feels bad because he isn’t really utilizing his therapist much - he said he’s been staying on a superficial level and not trying to really discuss the things that have him depressed because, well, they are depressing. And he’s promised to contact his doctor or surgeon or whoever about his health concerns, because there are a bunch.

I feel awful, overall. It was nice to snuggle after the fight but I would rather have the snuggle without the upheaval.

I am at SirGawain’s right now. He bought all new pillows and bedding and a new mattress cover for his bed, because the one kitten (MadMartigan) keeps pissing in one spot. The cat now has a calming collar, and we are definitely installing a litter box in the bedroom, even though SirGawain really doesn’t want to do that.

While we were out to dinner tonight, the husband of the couple sent me a message asking if I had blocked his wife or if I had just ignored her message. I told him I had seen it, I just had no spoons last night or today to answer. Which is the absolute truth. I’m not even sure what day of the week it is anymore - I just know I have lots of get done tomorrow when I get back home!


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997A541F-48FA-4A3E-8C23-2D8F9386EF3B.jpegSirGawain got me this fox stuffie. So sweeet!


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DarkKnight bought me some black Docs for Christmas, and they’re definitely at the breaking-in stage! I can’t wait til they feel as good as my white ones!


I didn’t sleep well at all last night and of course tonight is New Year’s Eve so I will be up late again for sure. My nesting partners and I are going to SirGawain’s for a party just for us. Not sure what time we are leaving, but MisterMoonbeam is DMing a Star Wars RPG campaign for us, so we are heading over in the afternoon to get started.

OMG so tired.


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I had a really good New Year’s Eve. My polycule all spent the time together at SirGawain’s - we got there around 5 pm, and then MisterMoonbeam and I went to both Papa John’s and Dominoes to pick up pizza. We had two gift cards, so we figured we would save cash by using them! I brought several bottles of liquor that we already had - Irish Cream, Butterscotch Schnapps, Kahlua, and vanilla Rum. Yum!

MisterMoonbeam ran the first part of a Star Wars: Age of Rebellion campaign for us, and we had a fun time. He was very anxious and had to leave the table because he started having a panic attack that he wasn’t doing a good job, or was overwhelmed - I don’t know. It was really crazy because he was so out of sorts and I have never seen him in that way before. I thought he was slow with the story, but he wasn’t really familiar with the mechanics yet, so no one cared. Poor guy. He rallied and we captured Whisper Base for the rebels!

Afterward, we went to the basement and watched Don’t Look Up on Netflix together. It ended two minutes before midnight, so we got to see the ball drop, and we broke these confetti things to celebrate. The poppers had paper crowns and cardboard mustaches in them. Lol

It was very low key, but I really enjoyed myself and felt very loved and nurtured by the evening. That’s in spite of drinking waaaay more than I anticipated! I had a 10 oz glass half full of Bailey’s and half full of Butterscotch Schnapps. I’m used to making fuzzy navels that big, so it didn’t occur to me that most of those are ORANGE JUICE. I didn’t get drunk, but I was dizzy and sleepy for a bit, but I made sure to drink water after and eat lots of snacks!



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I had a good day today. I woke up next to SirGawain - he spent the night in our spare room after a successful (but long) game of Zombicide: Black Plague. We are on quest 4 of 10 in the latest campaign. He slept over but again had zero libido because of the meds he’s currently on. We snuggled and talked about his goals this year - big projects around his house, finances and career stuff.

DarkKnight made everyone in the polycule eggs and toast, before he left to go pick up BugGirl to do some grocery shopping and SirGawain left to play an RPG with friends. When BugGirl and DarkKnight returned, she did her weekly cleaning and MisterMoonbeam and I did some planning together. We both completed a free packet online called Year Compass, and that was really interesting and helpful. It made us both emotional too - it has writing prompts where you go over your last year to review and reflect, and then use that information to do goal-setting for the upcoming year.

It really built some intimacy between us, and I was a little disappointed that DarkKnight had no desire to work on one of his own. To be fair, it is sort of nebulous and lofty; I plan to use it as a springboard for more quantifiable goals that we will be working on together as a group when discussing things at our State of the Union meeting. So no worries.

The other major thing I did was I reorganized our game room as part of the first step of getting our house straightened up and ready for either a cash-out refinance or to sell in the next six months. Part of my goals this week is going to set up a schedule room-by-room to list all of the home projects we need to complete before June. I’m pretty sure I’ve shared photos of this space before, but oh well. Here are some new pictures. Lol

Main game wall, acting as a divider between our crafting/office space and the game room itself:


Our wall of boards and box tops, our dehumidifier and vintage table:


Extra game pieces inside of a lamp from Walmart, and our Zombicide games:


My Yahtzee cup collection and some smaller game storage:


These bookcases are a divider between the game room and DarkKnight’s bedroom:


Chairs added in front of the bookcases, so Albus (our 3-legged kitty) can watch:


Another shelving unit:


Rolling cart with some smaller games:


All of the lights are now connected to our Amazon Echo network, and we have one more electrical project to complete before the ceiling will be closed up. I added some extra shelving down here to hold all of our newest games that we gave each other as Christmas gifts.

After dinner we played Tokyo Highway, which I highly recommend! I had purchased it for MisterMoonbeam, but all of us were shouting and hooting and just having the most amazing time with this game! You use materials to build streets on which you try to place all of your cars before the other players do.


It was a fun time! DarkKnight was hella sleepy, so I skipped my sleepover night with him. For the last few days there has been insane sexual energy between MisterMoonbeam that we’d not been able to resolve! He’s been off of his depression meds for the last week, and after our serious discussion right after Christmas, we’ve just been crazy touchy-feely. I gave him a partial blow job on the basement stairs yesterday that was interrupted by chores, and today we’ve just been grabby with each other!

So yeah, DarkKnight told me to go have fun, and oh yes did I ever. MisterMoonbeam and I were in this zone, absolutely connected on an intense level, and he came all over my tits. Seriously, this was like the fourth or fifth time ever he was able to do that and it was VERY satisfying for both of us. No complaints, A++ would play again.

It’s supposed to snow here tomorrow, so that should slow down traffic though it’s the reopening day after our holiday break with the Blessing Box. I’m giving away 8 different twin bedding sets, and I have several large furniture deliveries to coordinate and schedule for the week. I also am way behind and absolutely MUST finish our year end financial paperwork for the Secretary of State.

I also have to do more grocery shopping, and make a run to the bank to pay my son’s rent and other bills. I plan to see him on Wednesday if the weather cooperates!


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So today I accomplished a bunch. My charity registration renewal paperwork is now filed with the state, I’ve responded to our city’s economic development director’s latest email - he wanted planning updates - and I wrote a college recommendation for a former student. I also coordinated 8 different furniture deliveries for tonight (which had some hiccups and interrupted my posting here). There’s more tomorrow, but that’s future me’s problem. Lol

I am really hoping to see my son tomorrow, but Covid is surging and I’m concerned. Our county is the 5th worst in the nation, and they shut down one testing center yesterday because there was no way they were getting to everyone. The other drive-up location had a five hour wait to be seen! Fucking insane. Anyway, BugGirl called me to tell me she has been exposed again as everyone she was with New Year’s Eve has now tested positive. She isn’t sick yet so hopefully her last bout with Covid gave her immunity for now. She can’t get in for testing herself yet due to the long wait times.


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MisterMoonbeam had me download an app for managing projects and tonight we worked together to load it up with tasks we need to complete to get the house ready to sell. I am still hoping we can do a cash-out refinance, but I don’t know how involved that is and if it’s just a pipe dream. Either way there are things in every single room that have been hanging around and now we need to tackle them.

I spoke with BugGirl last night and she said she wants to work on a lot of them, so we need to figure out how much she can handle and what we need to hire a handyman to do. I also have a list of items we need to purchase to stage the house. Ugh. So much to do!

And that’s just the practical side of getting ready - we also need to take a look at finances and budget for these repairs. Oh, and make sure the credit reports are polished and pretty. And figure out how we are going to finance this building purchase - and who exactly is going to be on the paper, MisterMoonbeam, DarkKnight or the nonprofit. Which I still have to complete the paperwork on.

Sigh. So much to do!


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I spent the day sleeping and reading and being the laziest person that I could possibly be. For real. It’s been heaven.


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I'm glad you got sex finally from one of your guys! Come through, MM!

I'm glad you got rest too.

I love your game room wall, your '50s dinette set and the lamp with game pieces in it! Too bad you're gonna have to dismantle it rather soon. How long have you been in this house? It seems like just yesterday you moved in, but I know it's been several years.


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We’ve been in the house for 5 years now this month. Each room has 3-4 projects, but I think we should be able to knock them out fairly quickly. We are going to finish most of the painting touch-ups and decluttering, and then meet with a realtor to see what they suggest on the rest of our list. Our market is hot, so we might not have to do much at all.

It should be super easy to dismantle the game board wall. Hot glue peels off of cinderblock with no residue - I learned that when I worked in an elementary school in Texas! I love this room lots myself, and we use it multiple times a week so it’s nice to have a space that’s enjoyable.

Tomorrow the Blessing Box will be open again, and I have a volunteer scheduled to come help me empty the overflow room. It’s crazy since we were closed for the holidays and donations piled up. I need to get some systems in place to make sure that we get it organized and it stays that way until we figure out the house sale stuff.


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Feeling anxious and just out of sorts. I think my period in a few days so that’s probably it. This morning we got a lot of snow, so MisterMoonbeam took DarkKnight to work. We just went out to Red Robin for lunch together and he’s now in the shower. I’m feeling super cute today - I will have to get a picture. I’m rocking some 90s-style clothing with a dress over a shirt and leggings. Some goth makeup would be appropriate, I think. Lol

I am going to start helping MisterMoonbeam with his financial paperwork this afternoon when he gets out of the shower. I’m a little nervous, but it should go okay.

I posted about needing $30 this morning to renew our domain for the Blessing Box, and I got $150! People were on top of it! Lol This is great because my next post was going to be about needing funding for the storage unit fees for the next 6 months and all of that will help toward it.


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So all of my storage unit fees for the Blessing Box are paid in full through June, and as I mentioned before, so is the domain registration for the year. Yay! The next thing I have to crowd fund will be the nonprofit filing fee, which is like $300-$400. I forget exactly. I’m nervous about it. I haven’t started paperwork yet but everything else I am doing now is supporting the goal. Like, this Saturday we started the household projects to get our home ready for sale. (Or a cash out refinance. I still don’t know what the better option is going to be!)

BugGirl came over and we paid her $60 ($20/hour) to help.

Things we did:

✅ Monthly water fountain sanitizing & replacing filters (4) for our cats
✅ Covered DarkKnight’s headboard with a tapestry I bought a year ago
✅ Realized that the downstairs basement sink is leaking (while cleaning a water fountain)
✅ Accidentally broke the drainpipe off under the leaking sink
✅ Inventory of the paint that we bought 5 years ago, to see what we need to buy for touch ups
✅ Took down the destroyed outdoor curtain on the patio
✅ Made measurements for the sunporch blinds, and of a door downstairs
✅ Removed the painter’s tape stuck up around the trim from the hallway and MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom (it has been there for 5 years)
✅ Cleaned out underneath the staircase
✅ Took everything cleaned out from under the staircase to the unfinished side of the basement to sit in a huge pile
✅ Searched in vain for a hot glue gun; we own at least 4 - seriously where TF do they GO?
✅ Made a shopping list for a Home Depot trip
✅ Cleaned and organized my corner of DarkKnight’s basement bedroom


Say hi to Albus, our tripod! He turned four years old yesterday.


Today DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam went to Home Depot to buy the supplies we need for next weekend:

1) Sisal rope to rewrap a cat tree on the sunporch
2) Blinds for the sunporch
3) Plumbing stuff for the broken sink

I forgot to ask MisterMoonbeam about the painting supply situation. I plan to have BugGirl paint the two doors in the basement (leading to the bathroom, and to the unfinished section). He got an inventory of the paint itself, but I don’t know what we need when it comes to brushes and rollers and shit. Lol Might need another trip to Home Depot.

I’ve been down and depressed all day, but I did change into clean pajamas.
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I’m spoiled.


Got my period today. Almost right on time. Guess I’m back to being on a dependable schedule again!


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My tripod kitty Albus is coughing a bunch and is wheezy when he breathes. Calling the vet this morning to see if they can get him in on Wednesday. He’s had this for a while but it’s just not getting better. No discharge or anything, and it’s not a hairball as nothing comes up. He hasn’t lost any weight and he’s still eating and galumping around the house normal. He just had his birthday yesterday! He’s 4. :)

I’m tired today. I was up late (past 1) talking to an old friend on the phone. I met her like 8 years ago at a play party - the first one I ever attended! - and we were besties for a short bit. Then she got involved with a guy who was threatened by me - he accused her of sleeping with me (not even lol). So we remained Facebook friends but went to minimal contact. Well, he died in December and apparently she has no friends at this point, and she reached out. I was happy to reconnect with her, but I was really sad for her. We are hoping to hang out this weekend as she’s a mess and really needs some support.

I’ve also been chatting again with the couple. Yes, that couple. They want to meet up this week sometime to discuss stuff. I am open to it, but I’m not bouncing up and down excited. We will see.


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Shit. Monday night DarkKnight was over at a friend’s house and we found out tonight he was directly exposed to Covid. The worst part is that he was only there because I asked him to go over to fix her printer. 🤦‍♀️ He was masked and used hand sanitizer when he left, but she messaged me to let me know she was positive this morning.


We are all fully vaxxed and boosted, but unfortunately I didn’t hear this until I was at SirGawain’s in Frederick and had been with him for at least an hour. Fuck!

I closed the Blessing Box for the rest of the week and I will be rescheduling tomorrow’s vet visit when the office opens in the morning.

I really hope we escape this!


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Everyone is still okay here, though I woke up feeling a little bit ugh. However, I’m still on my period and it’s not anything I haven’t felt before. Just a little nauseous and still tired.

MisterMoonbeam actually surprised me this morning with donuts and chai while I was still in bed. Super sweet!

I’m going to try and focus today on my nonprofit paperwork. I have GOT to get this filed by the end of the month. I’ve been having stress dreams all week because of it.


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I slept in this morning again, this time til 10 am. It didn’t help that I was up til 2:30, reading. 😆 I really need to get my sleep cycle under control!

I should be cleaning right now but instead I’m being lazy. BugGirl will be here this evening to take care of litter boxes, the kitchen floor and the upstairs bathroom. Just an hour. I’ve done a smidgen of work but mostly I’ve been laying around.


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Busy Saturday! Another day of housing projects! Once again, we hired BugGirl to come over and help us prep to do a cash out refinance on our house.


  1. Hang up new blinds in sunporch and realized one is a different size
  2. Feel acute anxiety
  3. Move all Blessing Box portable closet systems to the car from the basement
  4. Take the closets to the storage unit
  5. Sand & paint game room door
  6. Sand & paint basement bathroom door
  7. Sand & paint trim and cupboards in basement bathroom
  8. Hang new shower curtain in the downstairs bathroom
  9. Sort and organize foster cat items into totes, then move them down to the under-stair storage area.

The sunporch cat tree was supposed to be re-wrapped with sisal rope as well, but MisterMoonbeam had to go out and buy another blind (which he found, thank goodness!) so we ran out of time on that. And Bug Girl was going to recaulk the shower downstairs, but the caulk SirGawain brought over was no good.

This morning was a little more hectic than expected too, as I didn’t go to bed until 3:30 am. I was awakened by a call from a local church; they brought me 44 boxes of produce. About half of them had rotten zucchini in them, so DarkKnight and I stood out in the cold and fished out 5 per box. I couldn’t feel my fingers by the time we were done! That said, as long as it took us to take out the rotten veggies, once I posted that we had veggie boxes, they all disappeared in the same amount of time. It was crazy! We had onions, sweet potatoes, carrots, and white potatoes. Half had baby watermelons, and some had beets as well. Apparently they were really, really needed because they seriously disappeared super quick!


Other news, DarkKnight’s PCR test came back negative this morning, but then he vomited later in the afternoon. Not sure if it’s Covid - he thinks the leftover fried rice he had for lunch was bad. I guess we will see. We are happy that he’s negative 5 days past exposure, anyway. If he doesn’t feel better, he will go test again next week.
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