Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh I waited too long to come back to this and I have to start another post to type about SirGawain!

Sir Gawain:

We’ve just been pulled in completely different directions lately. Every time I attempt to go to his house, something comes up or I’m an emotional mess. Lately I have felt not at all attracted to him and like every move he makes to try and be touchy feely has me out of sorts. It feels fake, since it’s not his natural state of being.

That said, I still love and care about him. I’m hoping actually getting together will rekindle things for me. It’s not like he’s repulsive or anything! Lol He’s still my boyfriend!

I’ve spent most of the day with him today and I’m excited to make plans, and talk. We went to the mall tonight and he bought some hiking boots in anticipation of going out with me this weekend. I’m wanting to maybe hit up Chapman and Chapel Hill State Parks this weekend. We might go to Greenwell or others out that way, IDK. I guess it will depend on weather and my mood. I appreciate him trying to meet me where I am at and fit into my schedule.

I am waiting to hear from him about our August plans - we might be going to the Outer Banks.
 
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Bluebird

Well-known member
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I’ve posted some pics with me wearing them, but I’m not sure if I mentioned that I have my new glasses, finally. I put off getting them for a while because of the pandemic.

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Outfit of the day. I love my polka dot shoes! I am feeling myself at the moment. Curvy AF with some attitude.

Seriously though, I am having a day full of anxiety - DarkKnight is taking half time at work and coming home shortly. We are having lunch together and then meeting with the bank about our cash out refi. I also hope to look at a couple of properties this afternoon but the economic development director hasn’t messaged me back so maybe not. One of the buildings I am absolutely in love with and I have been crossing my fingers and toes in hope that it will still be available when we are ready!

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I spent yesterday making up 42 Easter baskets for children in my community. I feel some sort of way about it because last year we did 200. I lowered the bar this April because my time is not my own and personalizing them takes a lot of effort. Every kiddo got a book, a toy, a stuffie and at least two candy filled eggs, unless it was a child under 2, and then they got applesauce or fruit cups. I also did one adult basket for an elderly woman in hospice. This will be her last Easter, and her adult daughter asked for help. I love what I do!
 

Daniel121

New member
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I’ve posted some pics with me wearing them, but I’m not sure if I mentioned that I have my new glasses, finally. I put off getting them for a while because of the pandemic.

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Outfit of the day. I love my polka dot shoes! I am feeling myself at the moment. Curvy AF with some attitude.

Seriously though, I am having a day full of anxiety - DarkKnight is taking half time at work and coming home shortly. We are having lunch together and then meeting with the bank about our cash out refi. I also hope to look at a couple of properties this afternoon but the economic development director hasn’t messaged me back so maybe not. One of the buildings I am absolutely in love with and I have been crossing my fingers and toes in hope that it will still be available when we are ready!

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I spent yesterday making up 42 Easter baskets for children in my community. I feel some sort of way about it because last year we did 200. I lowered the bar this April because my time is not my own and personalizing them takes a lot of effort. Every kiddo got a book, a toy, a stuffie and at least two candy filled eggs, unless it was a child under 2, and then they got applesauce or fruit cups. I also did one adult basket for an elderly woman in hospice. This will be her last Easter, and her adult daughter asked for help. I love what I do!
You truly look beautiful and I love the hair color.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
You truly look beautiful and I love the hair color.
Aww thanks! I’m actually excited about the teal fading and me being all-natural again.

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Today SirGawain & I took a road trip to southern Maryland so I could hike in two more state parks. I’ve now done at least one mile in 34 of them!

We did 1.5 miles in Greenwell, and 1.5 miles at Newtowne Neck. These pics are from Newtowne Neck.
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I have to say I had a lot of fun with SirGawain today, and I felt like we connected. It was like two and a half hours in the car one way, and we stopped for lunch going there, and had dinner coming back. He put up with my terrible music choices with hardly any complaining (heh) and there were times there was silence and I just felt…happy. I really do love him!

We got home late and finished up the last three episodes of Vikings - we are now done with that series. Whoo hoo! Not sure what we are watching next. Anyway, we were both pretty tired as it was then 1 am, and our bodies were spongy from the three miles. I still got dicked down though - whoo hoo again! 😂🤣 It had honestly been a long while and it was quick but enjoyable. Hopefully we will be able to get together again this coming week.

Oh, and he finally pulled the trigger and reserved us an Airbnb in the Outer Banks in August. I have a big vacay in every summer month now! June is Texas for a week to attend MisterMoonbeam’s youngest son’s wedding. July is a 3-day cabin stay in northeast Maryland (to hike more state parks up there) and then I’m meeting my sister and her family in Ocean City for a few more days right after. And, now August in North Carolina with SirGawain.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I had an extremely busy day today and didn’t accomplish everything I needed to do, but enough was finished that I feel good.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
My mother called Tuesday morning in tears and now I am driving to New York tomorrow morning, to spend the weekend helping her with her medical paperwork issues. I absolutely don’t have time for this, but I also don’t have any other time that works for me. I love my mom, in spite of her intolerances, so off I will go.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
OMG I am excited! DarkKnight & MisterMoonbeam went with me today to look at a building downtown, and it is larger and more amazing than anticipated! I want it SO much. We met with the current owner and he is motivated to sell, so we may get it at a lower price than what it’s listed. It’s almost a whole block, for real. It has 3 addresses - and it’s 13,000 square feet. Seriously, it has more than enough room to house us, the Blessing Box, my cat cafe AND it has a ballroom we could use for a variety of things AND at least 4 studio apartments we could create and rent out to a local organization.

Like WOW. It’s at the top of our price range though, and I am terrified. What if I got everything I ever wanted?

The height of the rooms in this place are unreal! The heating/cooling bill will be insane as well. But omg.

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Here’s the front view:

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The entire building is empty right now. The mortgage payment is scary. Can we do this? I hope so!
 

Evie

Kaitiaki
Staff member
Omg, wow!! Seriously, do it. One life to live (at least that most of us remember) and all that.

"Variety of things" - I instantly read shibari dojo 🤣
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
So I am now wearing a heart monitor for the next 48 hours. The cardiologist gave me a log to keep a record of if I feel heart palpitations or dizziness or whatever. Ugh. The heart ultrasound is Wednesday afternoon.

I spent the weekend in New York, helping my mom with medical paperwork. That wasn’t so fun, and it’s ongoing today and tomorrow too, though I am home now. I got to meet my nephew’s fiancé, and he’s wonderful, so that was nice.

I’m pretty tired right now because today has been insanely busy. I have a meeting set up for noon tomorrow at the building again, this time with MisterMoonbeam, the owner of the building, the president of the nonprofit we hope to partner with, and my Blessing Box board Secretary - she also runs a grassroots organization that I am absorbing, that helps families with disabled children secure local resources.

I feel so weak right now. It’s snowing out and it’s cold and I am overwhelmed. Sigh. This afternoon I am taking my 3-legged cat, Albus, to the vet because in spite of shots a couple months ago, he is still having issues with his breathing.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh this heart monitor is a pain in the ass. I was laying on the couch watching episodes of the IT Crowd last night, and two different side leads popped off. No idea how or when it happened. I stuck them back on but I am not confident that they’re where they are supposed to be. Then this morning I woke up at 4 am to pee and realized that the main lead had come off and it took me like six tries to get it to stay in place.

I guess I am calling the cardiologist in the morning because again, I’m not sure if the placement on these is accurate anymore. They need to stick these suckers down more firmly with tape!

Today I have an appointment at noon to go and look at the building again. I am so very excited!

I accomplished a bunch yesterday.

All of our paperwork is signed and has been submitted to our bank for the refinance on our existing house. We are hoping to get $75,000 in cash out. We are now waiting for the appraisal to be scheduled, which is worrisome because there are a few spots in the house we need to organize and shape up before anyone comes through. I need to talk to the guys and my daughter about finishing this up super soon.

I paid some bills, as I didn’t get a chance to do that before leaving for NY on Friday. I forgot to work out our Hello Fresh order for this week, unfortunately. It’s supposed to be finalized Thursday for shipping on the following Tuesday. I had selected 7 dinner ideas and meant to talk to everyone and pick 5, but since I was distracted, we are getting 7 today. Sigh. That was an expensive mistake! Which reminds me I need to look at the upcoming menu! I have to say that everything we’ve had from this company has been solid - absolutely delicious. I would recommend them with no hesitation.

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I spoke with two friends and they are both on board with being on my Board of Directors for the Cat Cafe. I’m not sure what positions they’ll fall into, though I have ideas. I’m meeting with one Wednesday night for dessert and we will talk about this for sure. I need to figure out a President because as Executive Director, I need to make sure they are someone who will be my rock in the day to day. I definitely need them to be actively involved. These two friends will probably be the VP and Secretary.

I spent a LOT of time yesterday with my mom’s stuff. I had some back and forth on the phone with a dentist she went to last winter and she legit has $7500 worth of work she needs done and no way to pay for it. I’m now waiting to hear back from another dentist to see if we can lower that. Today I will probably reach out to her social worker.

My sister and I had a discussion about our mom’s food situation, because she is legit a skeleton and weighs nothing. She has been trying to feed herself and my brother and his two kids with $180 in food stamps. Now that the Covid bonus has ended, she can’t continue that with just $90! She has been starving herself to make the $180 work. We had no idea.

I spent $300ish on food when I visited her for Christmas, and $200 on this trip. I am going to Instacart her some more this Friday, as she will need more milk then. Her benefit will renew on the 3rd - the $90 - and my sister has agreed to shop with her and pay for more on May 13th. We will see where things are at for June. We agreed to reevaluate then.

The last two nights I have legit just passed the fuck out when it was bedtime. My poor menfolk are getting no discussion and definitely no sexy times. I’m too damn tired.

Let’s see, also yesterday I spoke to my Blessing Box secretary, and she’s going to probably be there today to see the building. She had a bunch of medical stuff to request and I got most of it sponsored fairly quick. We are a good team and we share the same positive energy so it’s always nice to connect with her!

I sent a contact form online to a local CPA - this is the second firm I’ve reached out to in the last few days. No one has responded from either, but I figure with yesterday being the tax deadline, they probably don’t have the time. Hopefully I will get some contact back soon. This place I wrote yesterday came highly recommended and I am really hoping we connect. Right now I need to get confirmation that my cooperate structure is going to work and everything will be acceptable to the IRS moving forward. As soon as I get a professional okay, I can finally submit to legally form the LLC that will be the holding company and purchaser of the building. I also can then submit to form the nonprofits for both the Blessing Box and the Cat Cafe.

Ooh! My mom and I visited a cat cafe in New York while I was there. It was in a mall. It was a coffee shop on one side, and then had a glass wall between you and the cats. You had to pay extra to schedule time in that room, and they were booked solid. This is similar to how we will be set up - you have to keep the food and drink separate due to health code. Only, we will have more than one space with 5 cats!


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I also sent a message yesterday to my friend who’s husband is a contractor. I am not sure if she saw it because she didn’t respond and she’s normally quick to do that. I’m hoping he can make time to go through the building with us, if not Wednesday (which will probably be impossible now) then sometime next week.

I ended my evening with taking our cat Albus to the vet, and we are pretty sure he has asthma. He got another steroid shot and we are going to consider medication and/or breathing treatments.

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He had lost weight, which is good because he’s too fat for a three-legged kitty!

Also in the evening I finally filed MisterMoonbeam’s taxes. He owed money so it sucked but at least we were able to pay it off in full. He still has payment plans for a couple of years prior to meeting me, where he owes thousands.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Got my period. Wonderful that it decided to happen when I can’t shower for two days, as the cardiologist put me back on the heart monitor again. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more disgusting.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
So my follow up with the cardiologist is Tuesday afternoon. I’m nervous but it is what it is, you know? I survived wearing the monitor so I guess I can wait a couple of more days to wait and see what’s up.

Healthwise, I guess everyone else is doing okay. DarkKnight continues to lose weight and is looking super cute! MisterMoonbeam picked up his CPAP yesterday so we will see how things go for him with it. Tonight is my first night sleeping with him while he’s on it. We will see how that goes!

Things are moving forward with the building so far. I have a meeting on Tuesday morning to do another walkthrough, this time with our chosen contractor. I went through again last week with with the president of the nonprofit we wanna rent the 4 rooms out to, and he said he would definitely take them as a block, probably in conjunction with another organization. He gave us some good ideas and information, and said he’d be in touch. The price we gave him should cover the mortgage 100%, as well as most of the utilities for the entire building each month. He didn’t blink an eye.

I spoke with a person in the zoning/code department on the phone last Wednesday, and then we had some back and forth via email about what the known needs of the building are already. Another code person messaged me a bunch of questions about our proposed uses. Everything seems very positive.

We now know that in order to get the residential designation upstairs, we will need to install new sprinklers. Code guesses $50,000. There’s a grant that will reimburse us half of that. Our thought is to either request the seller pay for this, or throw us the cash to do it at closing. I have a message out to the recommended company, and hopefully they will hit me up tomorrow so we can schedule an actual estimate. Our contractor says he would need to work at the same time as them, as he will be putting in washer/dryer hookups, 2 kitchens and at least 3 bathrooms and since they’re messing with the pipes, it just makes sense.

We have an attorney now to help us with contracts and our offer/closing. He let us know that he can’t take a commission on this sale, and since we don’t have a realtor, we should ask for the 4-6% commission to be lowered on the price. If we were to do a full price offer with the low end of that commission, that’s $16,000. These numbers are crazy pants!

MisterMoonbeam and I are going to pay our first visit to what we hope will be our CPA/tax firm on Friday. I will hopefully finally get expert professional advice about how best to structure our LLC and the nonprofit. I then hope to go ahead and register and move forward with that. I’m also now torn on whether to run the cat cafe as a nonprofit or as a for-profit business.
 

fuchka

Active member
Everything's coming together!! With the cat cafe, are you considering it as a for-profit arm raising funds for other non-profit operations on site? (I.e. auxiliary for-profit)

I don't know the terminology you'd be familiar with but this is also a common structure.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Everything's coming together!! With the cat cafe, are you considering it as a for-profit arm raising funds for other non-profit operations on site? (I.e. auxiliary for-profit)

I don't know the terminology you'd be familiar with but this is also a common structure.
No, the companies will be separate. :)
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I have visited two cat cafes now - one in Virginia and one in New York - and have more on the calendar to go and check out. It’s been interesting seeing how different the sizes and costs are! I’m supposed to schedule a meeting with the local humane society this week to discuss sharing more resources, and me taking in a bunch of their older cats or mom/kittens when we open next year. Honestly I would love to open this year, but my priority with $$$ is getting the apartment block open for business so we can collect rent and afford the mortgage on this building!

That said, the main expense in the space for the cat cafe is going to be the flooring. Right now it’s all carpeted, and it all has to go so we can put down tile. We also need to cut picture windows into at least two inside walls so our guests can see into the cat rooms from the eating/drinking space. Other than that, the costs will all be in decor, murals and cat towers!

I just got a letter from the bank account on the cash-out refinance. They have pulled DarkKnight’s credit and the scores were 769/768/734 like what the fuck is up with that last one? The reports are the exact same. Sigh. Those numbers are good though, so yay!
 
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Bluebird

Well-known member
Had a walk through with our contractor today. Overall it was positive, but I now need an electrician and a roofing guy. Contractor says what we want to do with installing kitchens and bathrooms is all in his wheelhouse and the ceilings are all drop ceilings for the most part, so running the piping needed looks like it’ll work, no problem. He can schedule around when the sprinkler system is installed, so they can use the same space and everything will already be opened up.

The roof just needs eyeballs on it because no one has been up there in four years, I am told. Is it in danger of imminent collapse (we don’t think so, at all, but who’s to say?) or are we good for another 10-15 years?

The electric is all upgraded and looking great downstairs, but we’d have to run new wiring and such to handle the refrigerators, washer/dryer units, etc in the spaces we need. There’s at least one electrical panel in a rental room that needs to be flipped around or moved entirely to make space for a shower. There’s also a panel in the back stairwell that would need to be moved, to add a doorway. Is there enough space? I certainly don’t know! The good news is that the residential company we’ve used three times in our house also has a commercial electric division, so I am going to call them today. I feel good that they are trustworthy and reliable.

The bad news is that the owner told us today that his partner in Colorado reached out and said that the developer who submitted a letter of intent two weeks ago came back with a counter, so we need to submit one ourselves to continue the process ASAP.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

I’m glad my heart appointment is later today because I am freaking out.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Well…I have whiplash. Lmao

After a day of ruminating on things, I sent a message to the building owner, telling him we were going to have to pull out of negotiations. $350k was going to be our top dollar and with a different letter of intent already on the table, it didn’t look likely. We can’t afford the purchase and the renovations.

Well, the guy went came back with an offer of us paying $350k, and then they hold a secondary at $50k for 5 years with a payment due annually at 4%. We felt this was fair, but still didn’t get us the capital needed to make it livable. I asked him for this afternoon to talk it over with my partners.

Then I got a message from someone in my city that I kind of know. I had a meeting with them and their partner this morning. They want to fund everything - the entire mortgage, the updates, everything. They said they would carry it at zero interest until everything is complete and we have the tenants living there and generating income, at which point we would take it over. I am in shock.

Apparently they have done this before and they believe in helping organizations help the community, and though they have been a smaller donor to me in the past, I never imagined any scenario like this!

I’m excited. And anxious. And terrified.

I guess the same as I was at the beginning of the week, except now almost all of my concerns are gone.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I have a meeting tomorrow at 3 pm to walk through the property with them.

OMG OMG OMG
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Things are really moving now! MisterMoonbeam and I met with the CPA yesterday morning for like an hour and a half and got a bunch of things clarified. She didn’t charge us for our time either! Amazing!

I’m going to be forming the LLC for the property management stuff tonight and then sending over the Letter of Intent to the property owner this weekend. We have a handshake as of yesterday afternoon.

DarkKnight, MisterMoonbeam, BugGirl and I met with the angel investors yesterday at the property, and they are all in. I can’t believe this. They are financing everything up to like $600,000 for us. I’m think I’m going to die but I haven’t yet so I don’t know what to think. It’s just so unreal.

I now have like 6 appointments scheduled for next week - and a list of people to call - for firm quotes of the renovations we are planning: roof guy, floor guy, electrician, hvac, our general contractor again, the sprinkler system, plumbing. We need to get an architect. Maybe a designer? We’ve decided to try and repaint the ceiling of the ballroom and put down a new floor in there, just to get the space framed out so we can rent it now and then for one-off events: craft fairs, cat yoga, Boy Scout camping in the winter, game tournaments, whatever. 😂

I have responses about Eagle Scouts building the cat furniture and little habitats for the cat cafe. My volunteers and a few of my donors are also coming by next week to take a look. The humane society is scheduled with three people to visit and discuss our partnership. I’m hoping to also partner with BugGirl’s recovery house peeps to handle the cafe part of things - they just opened a coffee shop on the other side of town.

Oh and I have one solid person wanting to rent the empty office/retail space for a little pagan shop (herbs, candles, books, crystals) that is coming to see it on Monday. I did have someone else reach out about maybe renting it for their therapy business - they specialize in counseling LGBT, Poly, ENM, kink folks. They were less firm but they still want to talk. Whooooo

We will see! This is all so exciting! We still need to focus on making sure no huge red flags pop up but so far so good.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Oh, and remember all those years of posts, talking about me being tired? Psssssh. I guess they were preparing me for this. 😅😅
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Hoping to have a purchase agreement on Friday, with a closing date of June 2. Our financing is in order, thanks to our private angels. We are still having contractors come through to get estimates and inspections done to make me feel secure about things. We found out we need a complete tear down on the roof over the ballroom and back section of the cat cafe. The owner had told us the ceiling had “moisture damage” from the heat being off in the winter - nah, fam, the rain is coming right in because half of your shingles are missing!

Lots could still derail this dream, but so far, things are still moving forward. Today I am meeting with an electrician about putting in outlets and separate circuits for the two kitchens we would be installing. Also a flooring guy, and a member of my Cat Cafe board of directors is taking the tour. I have to hire an architect and get the plumbing looked at as well.

This weekend, MisterMoonbeam and I visited a closing Cat Cafe, and we bought some of their stuff, and then went to IKEA and spent the afternoon looking at EVERYTHING. We are trying to get a feel for how much we need to budget for cabinets and kitchen islands. DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam went with me to visit a local Cat Cafe on Saturday - we got a private tour and spoke at length - an hour and a half? - with their board President. All sorts of interesting info is being gathered! We have been crunching numbers and things look so good!

I spoke with my son, and he has agreed to work part time for me. Since he’s on disability, he really can only get 20 hours a week, but he seemed very enthusiastic about being my janitorial staff. :)

Yesterday I had to take MisterMoonbeam to an emergency dental visit - he broke off a tooth in the back of his mouth and he’s been in excruciating pain, poor guy. He’s scheduled to have it extracted tomorrow morning. I decided to bunk up with DarkKnight, as sleeping with someone with a painful dental issue is pretty much impossible!

I’m so tired, for real.
 
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