Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

If we're sending compliments, I like your smile and your hair. I love the color :) There's something about the way that you smile that reminds me of my favorite cousin :) You just look like you'd be fun to hang out with. Other than that, I hope you & Warman feel better quickly and PunkRock and DarkKnight don't end up sick, too!! Feel better!
 
Thank you.

That said, my guys have come through for me in a HUGE way, and my mirrors are now studded with nice feelings. Well, they are somewhat uncomfortable for me to look at, but they are nice. :)

Gah - will have to add more in a bit.

Edited to add in my notes! I know who wrote what, but I figured I'd leave it anonymous here.

You are beautiful!
Your smile lights up my life!
When you get all dressed up to go out with me somewhere, I always feel lucky the way all men love, to be out and about with a pretty girl.
I love seeing your freshly painted toes!
I really admire you for how you keep everyone in our family on task with their responsibilities and goals.
I love the way your eyes smile when you look at me!
When my skin touches yours under the blankets at night, I feel at home.
I love looking into your forest glade eyes.
Your lips are SO soft and warm and inviting!
You've got a nice butt! You should shake it like a Polaroid picture!
 
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I looked into SuperBetter because you were talking about it. I've been using it since yesterday and I'm enjoying it. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I am trying to not fall into the severe depression I had last winter. I think this app has the potential to help. Now I just need to wait for my husband to get home from his trip with his girlfriend to enlist his help as an ally and decide if I want my other partner as an ally also. Thanks for bringing it up!
 
Yay! I hope you find it helpful. I always feel good when I make progress with SuperBetter.

Last night I dreamed that my guys and I had bought a house and we were remodeling it to be perfect for us. I spent most of the dream filling out paperwork for permits and talking to PunkRock about knocking down specific walls, and whether or not there were enough outlets.

This week I have been thinking a lot about moving and the future and where we will end up. Lately it's been back to excitement and anticipation, rather than dread at the unknown, though I do have a lot of nervousness about making big life decisions. I find myself aggravated too, that so many states are barred to me because of the poly laws. Fuck you, land of the free. Still, at least there is some choice, I suppose. Honestly, due to the drought in the west and snow and cold in the north, I think it is going to come down to Maryland, Indiana and maybe Louisiana. I haven't done any reading about there yet, though the humidity is ass, I believe.
 
Wow there is some MAJOR income disparity in Louisiana. Even though my goal has always been to live in a place with a lower cost of living, the cities I have been looking at there are depressing as hell.
 
Bluebird said:
Wow there is some MAJOR income disparity in Louisiana. Even though my goal has always been to live in a place with a lower cost of living, the cities I have been looking at there are depressing as hell.
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It's probably even worse than you think.

On the plus side, everyone I have ever known who has lived in Layfayette has loved it. Not so much anywhere else in LA.
 
I forget if you are looking mostly for warm places, but Maine is really great. I love it there - such natural beauty and a lot of artsy, creative types, which is right up my alley. There is a mix of types of housing, and a range of income levels. Yes, some very wealthy people and movie stars own big old estates there, but cost of living is generally low for everybody else, and new sectors of business are taking off there.

On this page, http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/polygamy/, it says that in Maine bigamy is only a misdemeanor, and that it is one of the states that has "statutes that concern adultery, but none for fornication, cohabitation, or common-law marriage. In some of them adultery is grounds for divorce only. In others the offending spouse simply forfeits any rights to the innocent spouse's estate. In the rest of them, adultery is a crime that can only be prosecuted by the offended spouse. In a successful polygamous relationship, these need not be obstructive."
 
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Maine actually does have some extra fuck-you involved with bigamy - they have "purported" clauses, so unless we went into hiding, we'd run afoul of that. They also consider it an escalating offense, so if I continued to be with my two husbands - or if it continued to look like I had two husbands - I would keep getting arrested. They wouldn't charge PunkRock and DarkKnight - just I would be in trouble. However, they have other laws that tie into their bigamy laws - they could potentially charge my guys with conspiracy and attempt, which have the same punishment as bigamy.

That website you linked is a good starting point but it doesn't tell the entire story. I initially had a lot more states on my list, based on that site, but once I started to research deeper it was clear it wasn't as thorough as it should have been.

Doesn't matter though - Maine is waaaaaaay too cold for me! :)

PunkRock took the day off of work yesterday and we pretty much spent the entire day in bed. I had a headache that put the kibosh on sexy times but it was nice to snuggle my love anyway. DarkKnight's play performance was canceled last night, so he and I went out to a house party with a portion of the cast. It started late and we only stayed for a few hours. I believe we were the oldest people there - everyone else was under 30. That was an interesting experience! I had three shots of whipped cream vodka straightaway, and then stuck to bottled water the rest of the night. I turned down the pot that was offered to me too. DarkKnight just nursed a beer the entire time. I didn't feel old, but sometimes the stuff the kids were saying made me shake my head. Heh.

My poly-ness was a topic of conversation and it was interesting that everyone claimed complete acceptance of alternative lifestyles. Considering that everyone was a different generation AND all artsy theater types, I was not surprised by this. :)

Today I am planning on being with WarMan once I am up and out of here - it's his date night and sleepover night, and we planned to meet up for a picnic lunch. It might be too cold out for that, but I guess we will see!
 
I lived in Maine my entire life until I moved in with Hubby six years ago. I was glad to get out of there! I ended up in some pretty small-minded communities when I lived there, though.
 
Maine and Vermont are gorgeous and fun in summer, pretty in fall, and like The Shining in winter!
 
The drought out in the West is a problem but unless you are planning to have large fountains or an English Cottage Garden for the animals it is way less a problem than worries about being outed and arrested or fined. There are inexpensive places in the west if you look around. Just a couple of thoughts. You have probably factored all that in though.

Leetah
 
I don't know about that. From what I have read about the drought, it is only going to get worse. I'd rather not live someplace where water is going to become a very scarce resource.

I could get interested in New Mexico or Arizona if that weren't such a factor, but I think I am probably going to use it as a good reason to avoid that side of the US.
 
Soooo I contacted someone on Ancestry.com over in the UK, and she ended up sending me information on my family going back 8 generations. She had some holes in her tree that match up with the information that I have, so I just sent her a chunk of stuff too. I have suddenly become very busy, trying to verify everything she has sent. The first piece I am questioning is the death date of a great uncle - my mom is really sure he died in 1969, but this lady's info has him dying in 1986. big difference. :) She did have his plot information and the cemetery, so I get to call Canada tomorrow and see if I can figure it out. I feel like a detective!

My daughter is having a wonderful time in Nepal. Apparently she was teaching the kids at the orphanage today about journaling. She asked me for some topic ideas. I find this hilarious because when she was younger, she used to fight me the most about writing journal entries everyday for school. Apparently she wanted to share the misery. lmao

My furnace has failed to kick on this weekend, so we are waiting for Monday and the property management company to save us. It's freaking freezing in my house right now, but I do have a fire going in the fireplace. It's warmer right next to it, at least. Tonight is PunkRock's sleepover, so I feel good about it. He is a snugglebug in bed, so I should stay toasty. :)

So, yesterday and this morning I was with WarMan. DarkKnight went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday in Chambersburg with us Saturday morning and that was nice. I was wearing jeans and was feeling very unfeminine though. I hardly ever wear pants - I am a skirts and dresses sort of girl. Combine that with my period coming later this week, and I was just feeling blah and out of sorts. I did finally get my haircut, so that was a bit of a positive, but I need a color job super soon.

Anyway, I really don't know where the time goes, when I am with WarMan. We spent some time at his place, and he emptied out some more of his living room. There is light at the end of the tunnel with getting it looking like a proper home! We went to a thrift store after, to drop off donations and then look around a bit. We had some issues when we came back to the house - I plopped down to surf on my phone, and I thought he went to the restroom, but instead he was wanting me to notice he was in the bedroom waiting to have sex. When I finally noticed he was taking a while in the bathroom, I called out to him and discovered his true location. He was upset, I was confused as to why he hadn't said anything and it was a little bit of a mess. I still don't quite understand why things got out of sorts, but after some really good sexy times, we had a nice dinner that he made (yum Chinese!) and then headed for bed for even more incredible sexy times.

Followed by more great sexy times this morning. Yay!

We had some conversation this weekend about his upcoming trip to New Mexico to see his kids. I am sad to see him go, but of course he needs to visit them. He has said he wants me to go with him on his next trip, probably next February, if things go well with telling them about me. The thing is, he has never told his kids ever, about anyone he has dated. So this might come as a shock - I think it's been like a decade since his divorce? (His kids are both teenagers.) So that is sort of nerve-wracking in and of itself, but his extended family has never asked about his love life either, so it would be news to them, PLUS the thing about his ex-wife is that she might still be harboring the idea that they will get back together at some point, because in their religion, that is what should happen. Apparently. Throw in the news that I am poly, well, yikes!

That said, his family pretty much has always believed that WarMan has been having a sexual relationship with Monkey, who they know is married to someone else, this entire time. So it is kind of crazy he needs to again say that he is NOT sexing her up, but actually he is with a different married woman.

We discussed the idea of not telling his family that I am married, and he is concerned that by leaving that information out he would be being dishonest, and if they found out, he'd be concerned that his kids would think that it was something he was trying to hide and is ashamed of. He doesn't want them to think that.

He could also not tell his family at all about me, and continue to let them live in ignorance.

I thought he had 100% decided that he was going to tell them about me, but WarMan went out to dinner with Monkey last Friday, and came to me this weekend saying he was unsure. This confused me, because I didn't see how it concerned her at all. Apparently he asked her opinion though. She didn't want him to tell about me, saying that I may not be anything long term and that he would just upset his children and family for someone who is moving away next year. I think that is a valid reason, even if I have no plans to dump WarMan anytime soon. :) And apparently he didn't share with her that he has been talking about moving in and possibly moving away with me? I am unclear as to whether he shared that with her. He said she is very jealous about me being in his life still.

I told him that if he chose not to mention me to his family now, that I was not at all comfortable visiting in February and being sprung as a surprise on everyone. I want some buffer time, so he can talk about things we are doing together in the interim during phone calls, etc. to kind of normalize our relationship. And in my experience, this stuff does take time!

I am feeling very depressed right now and down about the idea, all together. I resent Monkey's opinion about me, mattering at all. I dislike the idea of my being poly being discussed by another group of disapproving people. I am unhappy that the situation could cause WarMan to become even more distant from his extended family and children. Sigh.

I hate this hormonal timefuck right before my period. I have a hu-mun-dungus zit on my chin that appeared overnight. I feel gross and dissatisfied with everything about myself. I feel like a terrible person who will cause nothing but problems for WarMan.
 
But I don't think WarMan feels that way about you ...
 
If Warman were secretly gay or bi, and you were his male lover, would you be a terrible person just because he wasn't out to his family? How is this about you, at all? It's his choice (to date you) and he's a big boy (and can deal with any consequences or repurcussions). I like the saying, "Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable." The more we are out to the world as poly people, the sooner we will be accepted. Mormons are very narrow minded, and why should we have to cater to that?

I am sorry he shared something you felt should have been private, with Monkey. He doesn't have much of a support system though. I guess that is something you two need to have a chat about.

Cheer up (I know, it's PMS, you'll feel better soon!)! At least you got 3 fantastic sex sessions in a row. Kinda envious of that!
 
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Both of you are correct. I'm actually ok with whatever he chooses to do, honestly. He is not close to his family due to the religious issues that separate them. If we end up shacking up full time and we stay together long term with a shared future, his kids will know eventually.

I like the saying, "Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable." The more we are out to the world as poly people, the sooner we will be accepted. Mormons are very narrow minded, and why should we have to cater to that?
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LOVE THIS QUOTE.

Yeah, the sex was amazeballs. He's very giving and our drives click. :)
 
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Yay! Finally the heat is back on in my house. Now it feels a little oppressive, actually. Lol Still, it is no longer freezing, so that's great. I have no idea what the issue was.

I painted my toenails today. I am going to have to work on this. My toenails have been used by my guys as an emotional barometer for as long as I've been with them! When I need to destress or have a nice cry, I paint my toenails. So when the guys glance down and see a new color, they're like, ut oh! However, it's been like a month since I've had the time or inclination to paint my toenails. Well, I've felt the itch to paint them because I have been crazy emotional here and there, but I never have the opportunity to do so! So they were actually starting to look quite raggedy. Now they are hot pink "power play" with a glittery hot pink overlay - that color didn't have a name, so PunkRock named it "Pinkie Pie" which made me laugh. All of guys tease me about the sex I had with C3 years ago, where we watched 2 episodes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic before hooking up. Sigh.

As expected, PunkRock kept me toasty warm last night. We had decided to go to sleep but then he surprised me with some super hot sex in spite of that. Then I couldn't fall asleep for a while, and when I did fall asleep, I woke up early. I had more good lovins from PunkRock this afternoon. I feel very divine and yummy right now! Exhausted too, but in a good way. I still need to shower but I am waiting for my toenails to finish drying!
 
Bluebird said:
My toenails have been used by my guys as an emotional barometer for as long as I've been with them! When I need to destress or have a nice cry, I paint my toenails. So when the guys glance down and see a new color, they're like, ut oh! However, it's been like a month since I've had the time or inclination to paint my toenails. Well, I've felt the itch to paint them because I have been crazy emotional here and there, but I never have the opportunity to do so! So they were actually starting to look quite raggedy. Now they are hot pink "power play" with a glittery hot pink overlay - that color didn't have a name, so PunkRock named it "Pinkie Pie" which made me laugh.
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OMG, you're hilarious! I only paint my toenails in summer, and it's either whenever I'm in a really great mood or I'm wearing sandals and I have to go to work, where I know my boss will notice they're not done. I'd rather not have to paint my toenails ever, because I hate that people will judge me based on what they look like, and I have terrible-looking toes and ingrown toenails, so I have to paint them! I'm sort of getting drunk right now while I write this, but you get the picture. Love you, BLUEBIRD!
 
Haha! I'm picturing you with a fancy cocktail and the paper umbrella in your hair, laughing uproariously while reading about my weird ways. :) :) :) :)

Tonight PunkRock and I went to Waffle House for dinner. He sent me one of those newish George Washington memes floating around where our first president is saying he burned dinner on purpose so he could get to go to Waffle House. It sounds not so funny, but PunkRock and I both laughed at it and then were like - yummy! So Waffle House it was tonight! Then we went and saw the Crimson Peak movie. I am SO not a horror movie fan, but PunkRock is, so I sucked it up and went. It wasn't too bad and I LOVED the set design and costuming.

We have a sleepover tonight - whoo hoo! We had sexy times yesterday afternoon - we spent a good deal of the day being lazy in bed, which is always great. :) Last night was a date night with WarMan and a sleepover with DarkKnight. DarkKnight and I just slept, but WarMan and I did get some time to be naughty as well. Things with him felt very off though.

WarMan says he was just feeling really tired and stressed from work, but he seemed really distant. He brought me a sub and onion rings from my favorite restaurant and then watched me eat and listened to me chatter on. He didn't reply to much I was saying. It was disconcerting. I suggested we go up to the bedroom, so we did, and his mood seemed to improve a lot, but then it was back to being straight-faced and he soon left after. He told me when he arrived he felt like he didn't have much time to spend with me but he got there around 6:30 and left around 9:30. I dunno. I didn't enjoy feeling like he was just waiting around to leave, but that's how I felt. I told him if he didn't want to hang out, he didn't have to just because the calendar said so, but he said that wasn't it.

Since WarMan is headed to New Mexico on Thursday, he and my two hubbies are supposed to spend tomorrow night all together with me, curled up on the couch watching Back to the Future. The movie theater in town is only charging a $1 to watch it there, but I am sure it will be swamped and I would rather be comfy at home. :) After I am supposed to have a sleepover with WarMan. I hope he is out of his funk, whatever is causing it. I don't like feeling disconnected.
 
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