Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Ugh. I finally got to text with WarMan last night and it felt like a disaster. He kept apologizing for things that were not even an issue and continuing to be weird. I told him that his vagueness was worrisome and I would appreciate him communicating what was going on. He would just apologize about being a failure. I really didn't want to spend my last little bit of time left with DarkKnight, reading texts from WarMan where he was being very dramatic. But I pretty much did.

It turns out he said he was late meeting up with Monkey and he thought I would be upset that the had to run off to see her. I absolutely would not have been - in the past when he's been late meeting up with her, I've actually told him no to taking me out to lunch or doing whatever, because I don't want to spill over into her time. So I am not sure where that is coming from. And besides, he's been depressed and upset because she wouldn't talk to him at all, all week. Why would I be anything but encouraging, if they set up time to work it out finally? Ugh. So what ended up upsetting me was that he didn't say anything at all and instead acted like a building was on fire and he couldn't stop to tell me, lest it end up a charred mess.

Apparently after meeting her he was left upset himself, feeling like he was doing everything wrong and couldn't make anyone happy. When I in fact, feel like we had an awesome trip to New Mexico, and have felt like I've never been closer to him. It was really disappointing to me that he let this mess with Monkey again leak over. Our relationship was fine, yet he spent 20 minutes telling me he was sorry for making mistakes and being a failure. At this point, even if WarMan and Monkey are BFFs, I can be happy for him that he is able to repair that relationship, but I am not willing to accept this sort of emotional spillage every time he goes to see her, or talks to her. There were absolutely ZERO issues between WarMan and me, yet he felt the need to apologize again and again for being terrible. It was seriously ugh.
 
Face it, Warman has low self esteem. I dealt with that for 30 years with my ex husband. It was terrible. They are so busy with the script in their head telling them they suck, our efforts to reassure them do absolutely no good. My ex refused to believe I loved him, respected him, or appreciated him (enough or at all).

I'd ask him, what can I do to prove my love/devotion/respect? He'd say, "Pack my lunches, but I don't want sandwiches." So I'd pack a cooked lunch that I'd prepare in the morning while the kids swarmed around my knees and ankles. Or I'd make large enough dinners to make sure there were good leftovers. I'd even buy and place lovey dovey stickers on his Tupperware. It did no good.

I'd ask again, and he'd say, "Give me more sex." I'd fuck him every day, and sometimes twice. It did no good.

I'd ask again, and he'd say, don't make decisions for us. So, I submitted and gave over most minor and all major household decisions to him. You guessed it. Did no good.

This issue kept hammering nails in the coffin of our relationship and I still wonder why I held on so long. Leo loyalty and stubbornness, I guess!
 
Hmmm. Well I am on vacation now with my youngest and with PunkRock. The morning before we left I had another long text exchange with WarMan, where he spent the time telling me I was insensitive toward his feelings and only concerned with myself. That when he was feeling really low, I didn't offer him the comfort or validation he needed.

So, yeah, that was crappy. I explained to him again that when I said he was being dramatic, I meant in relation to his feelings right then about me - how he kept apologizing when there was nothing to apologize for, in my opinion. That he was worked up over me and he didn't need to be. I have no idea what was driving his feelings with Monkey or whoever, but with me, it was unnecessary. He finally seemed to get that - he dropped it, anyway, after a morning of back and forth.

WarMan and DarkKnight had dinner yesterday, and talked about me and moving. DarkKnight told me he thinks WarMan is insecure and that WarMan is worried I will change my mind about him after he moves in. I feel bad about that. I love him so much!

So far my trip has been good. I hosted a mom's night in my room that went past midnight last night, and then PunkRock and I slept in til 1 pm today! We had couples massage this afternoon and now we're getting ready to go to a Mongolian restaurant with friends.
 
Last edited:
So our vacation has gone really well. PunkRock and I were actually alone in the adult's only hot tub and managed to get up to some shenanigans. :) We hit some thrift stores today and I bought some bracelets and he purchased two pairs of shorts for work and a new pair of swim trunks. The swim shorts cost $2. That was pretty sweet!

I am sad that our trip is over tomorrow but I am looking forward to seeing DarkKnight and WarMan. DarkKnight has been sending me texts and pictures all week, so that has been sweet. WarMan answers me when I send him messages, but hasn't initiated much. I think he's still stressed out and depressed. That makes me feel bad.
 
I spent last night at WarMan's, after returning from vacation. Right now, my youngest daughter is here at his house, packing up his kitchen. She wanted to make some extra cash, so he's paying her to put away all of the dishes and cookware that he won't need to bring to our home. It'll go into our storage shed in big rubbermaid totes. The plan is he's going to come over tomorrow morning, and we'll shampoo my bedroom and my son's old bedroom carpets and get them ready for occupation. Then we're going to go see the new Cloverfield movie. :) Anyway, things are moving forward with that.

Today is actually my 10th wedding anniversary with DarkKnight! I am so excited! For no real reason, since we're taking our trip to Atlanta next weekend. lol I am very happy to be married to him though, and that has me bubbly. I think we're going to go to the nice German restaurant in town for dinner. We've never been there, so it should be fun.

DarkKnight got his bonus check this week, so that's exciting. :) It's a little less than $2000, after taxes. We're going to keep half of it in savings, and the other half will go on our Atlanta trip with us. I've already paid for the train trip itself, and the tickets for the aquarium and penguin encounter though.
 
I am feeling weird as hell. Yesterday evening, and today. I am hyped up and excited, but also down and depressed. It's a strange combination for me. I can't seem to settle on either one.

Certainly I have a lot of fun things planned and coming up on the calendar. Tomorrow PunkRock and I are going to a bingo fundraiser to benefit a friend of mine, and then DarkKnight and I are leaving next Sunday for our train trip to Atlanta. Then PunkRock and I are planning on attending 1D4 Con in Martinsburg at the beginning of April, and our anniversary is in May - and we're going to take an overnight trip to a haunted mental hospital to celebrate that. Also in April - WarMan and I are going to go see DarkKnight's dinner theater show - Kiss Me Kate. DarkKnight spent all of last night planning his trip to Awesomecon in June - I think our daughter is joining him on that 3 day weekend, so I am hoping WarMan will go with me to drop her off midway through, and then we will have a day in DC together.

Oh! I bought tickets to an evening restaurant stroll - Taste of the Arts - for all of us in May. And I purchased open-ended tickets to Hershey Park for PunkRock and my daughter and I as well. So, fun, fun, fun is headed our way!

I have a lot going on as far as planning though. We've decided to buy a freezer with part of DarkKnight's bonus check. We went last night (DarkKnight and I) to look at uprights, but the measurements aren't working for us, so we may end up with a chest freezer. We've been talking a lot about changing up the way we handle dinners at home and I think making individual freezer meals may be key to making the new ideas work. We'll see, I guess. I pinned a ton of stuff last night about organizing a chest freezer and cooking ahead.

I started back looking at houses again. I am getting more and more nervous as the calendar moves forward. My credit is repairing itself with time - by June I shouldn't have any more negative tradelines. However, DarkKnight's isn't improving, as the medical settlement he received came late and two bills went off to collections. I need to try and pull them back, as this would totally screw him being on the mortgage, if my timeline continues to be accurate. PunkRock's credit is so-so, but since his income is low and he hasn't worked at his job very long, it was doubtful we were going to use his credit anyway. WarMan has an excellent credit score, but his debt-to-income ratio isn't good - I think. We need to sit down and have a meeting, but I am probably going to wait until June, since I will need new reports and scores then anyway. Excitement - DarkKnight's student loans will be 100% paid off in 3 months! We've been chipping at those FOREVER. I am so glad they are going to be GONE! Hmm, maybe I will wait until July to pull credit, to make sure those are updated as well.

Meanwhile, we are making plans and adjustments to the house we're in, to prepare for WarMan's move. My son's old room still smells, but much less so, and I hope to shampoo the carpets today. Actually, since I am renting the damn shampooer, I'm going to clean all of the carpets upstairs. We started clearing out the back shed for storage, and PunkRock put together new shelves for the garage yesterday. We are still unsure as to what room configuration we'll end up with - there are a couple of options and WarMan and I are going to take measurements this morning and discuss everything. DarkKnight upgraded our internet plan this week to a business set-up, so we no longer have a date cap, but he forgot to increase the speeds as well, so that will have to be taken care of next week.

Lately I have been feeling very unattractive due to my weight. I have to get back on a diet, but that won't happen until after our Atlanta trip. Maybe April will be a good time to do it. I am feeling like PunkRock finds my extra pounds disgusting. He doesn't say it, but I think he isn't digging the overweight me.

I have a bunch going on doctor-wise as well. I think I have ringworm. Crazy, right?! It's on my left knee. I thought it was a spider bite but it wasn't improving over time, and then WarMan sent me a pic of ringworm and it matches exactly. I have an appointment on Monday to see my doctor, but in the meantime I've been smearing it with Vagisil, which is what the internets consider a good idea. It's improved! So, we will see what my expert says Monday. Also, I did get my new bottom retainer from the orthodontist. The old one cracked while in New Mexico. This is after the dentist stripped down the one gum line and cut away painful inflamed tissue. The problem I am having now is that the old retainer had a section clipped away, to stop the irritation. Well, no one did that to the new one, and now my gum line is getting sensitive in the one spot again. So, phone call on Monday! Hopefully they will get me right in then.

I am at home right now waiting for WarMan to arrive. Again the weird - I am home all alone! - as PunkRock is at work and DarkKnight and my daughter just left for her weekend shop class. WarMan messaged me that he was going to stop and get his oil changed, since I still wasn't showered and I'm fucking around on the internet. So, yeah, I should prolly stop reading this and get washed up. :)
 
Last edited:
The last couple of days have brought some really intense, emotional conversations with WarMan. Well, emotional for me, anyway. He's been really supportive and strong for me, which was most appreciated. I decided to finally unload some past experience baggage with him and he was great at making me feel safe to share it.

We've managed to figure out a room configuration that works for everyone, once WarMan relocates. He's going to use the room that my son vacated as his office. He says it is really too big for that purpose, but DarkKnight used to have it set up that way and it seemed to be just right. I'm pretty positive that WarMan will grow to fit the space. :) Since he doesn't use a bed and instead needs to sleep supported in a recliner, we're going to move that to my current master suite and he'll take up residence there. I'm going to then rotate my nights between each bedroom - DarkKnight's, PunkRock's and WarMan's. So I'll keep my closet as a home base, but my King bed will be used only when I have a sleepover with WarMan.

This setup minimizes the amount of furniture needed to be moved around, but also gives WarMan more than one area of the house to claim as his own. For a while, he was saying he wanted the master suite with the intention of having his bedroom and office space shared within it, but that made me feel not so good, since the other guys have more than one location in which to spread out.

Today is going to be busy - I have my doctor appointment around 11 am for my Ringworm. I am pretty convinced I have it, as I think it has now spread to my upper left arm. Can't wait to start medication and get this knocked out. Hopefully my guys will continue to not be infected. I also need to call the dentist about my bottom retainer - I'm going to do that soon here, at 7 am.

This weekend I didn't get a chance to shampoo carpets, so that is a priority today. I also have a TON of paperwork to complete for my son because of his move - change of address with the post office, social security office, doctor offices and sending out his rent check. I have to get DarkKnight to contact his HR department about getting him off the insurance. All of this isn't just a click or a single phone call - there are forms and stuff I have to follow because I'm his rep payee and mom, and they always give me fits about making changes and require more information.

Oh! I hope to get over to the courthouse today and file my name change paperwork. :)
 
So much to talk about - and no time! Gosh, things have been busy - even for me. :)

Tonight at dinner I received a call from the courthouse. I now have a docket number and my name change request is ready for publication. So, tomorrow I have to go up to the court and pick up the paperwork and then go to the newspaper and have then run a one day announcement. Then, I bring back a copy of that to the courthouse, after it has run, and then the judge will sign off on it. Hopefully! I've been told the ad can cost as much as $100, but I am hoping not. I'm kinda poor right now!

Why? We bought a chest freezer today - yay! I bought it off a friend for $175, which was a great price, as a new one that size was around $500. It's been living in a basement, so it needs a cleaning on the outside, but I am excited about it. The freezer has a new home in my garage now and I am looking forward to filling it later this week.

I also was on a hunt today for new bedding. I finished shampooing my bedroom carpet and threw away my old pillows. My curtains and bed set got a wash and are now put away in the linen chest elsewhere in the house. My daughter scrubbed my windowsills, and I also stripped off the mattress cover. WarMan is allergic to our cats, so I am trying to minimize the dander as best I can. I'm taking down the blinds and cleaning the ceiling fan tomorrow. Today though, I bought all new pillows (2 king size, 2 standard - 1 of which is a feather pillow) and a new Boho sort of quilt. It's a burnt orange paisley and flower pattern. I actually bought two of the same, as they were buy one get one half off at Kmart, and even just at $20, a king size quilt is a steal! So I got the 2 for $30, which is crazy. I also bought an orange throw pillow. Tomorrow I am going to search for sheets in either a plum purple or dusky teal. I'll have to take the extra quilt with me to make sure the color values match. It should be fun. :)
 
I'm a badass today. So far this morning, I've scrubbed my ceiling fan, cleared off both night stands and a hanging shelf, and wiped down the windows in my room (second time!). I also had DarkKnight come in and take down my blinds so I can run them through the shower, oh! and I washed both my fabric lamp shades in the bathtub already.

So look at me adulting.

The other thing I did - which actually sucked balls - was that I emptied out my closet and packed away all my clothes that didn't fit any more. Oh my god, that made me depressed as hell. I have gained 20 pounds since meeting PunkRock and that is just ugh. However, now they're all packed away in a Rubbermaid tote, so I won't see them and feel bad every morning, and the tote is in Warman's soon-to-be office closet. So the tote won't make me feel bad either. I figure if I start a diet in April, I should probably lose enough by the end of the summer to be able to fit back into stuff again.

Last night was pretty sad for me. At one point, I was telling PunkRock about my plans for dieting after I get back from my anniversary trip to Atlanta, and he was very dismissive, like I should be starting RIGHT now. I tried to tell him that wouldn't work, but I could see he was tuning me out, so I just let the subject drop. There is zero chance I could diet while on a train and while in Atlanta. It would stress me out a ton and make the trip a million times less enjoyable. Anyway, we didn't have sex last night. It's been a week since we hooked up at Great Wolf, and even then, it felt like he was doing it because he didn't want me to feel bad, us being on vacation and all. I am becoming more depressed about my body and I just don't even want to get naked around him at all now. It's made more worse because of this stupid ringworm. I took my first anti-fungal pill and started using the cream this morning. I think the other stuff I had been using is actually doing ok, but I'll follow what the doctor wants.
 
Re the weight issue, you are really beating yourself up (and I can really relate to that)! I think your own self-judgment about your weight is probably doing you more harm than anything anyone else could possibly think about you.

Have you stopped doing that program you had for boosting your self-esteem (I forget the name of it)? Perhaps it's time to look at that again because you're being very harsh towards yourself.

Anyway, it seems to me that your thinking goes somewhat like this:

"I have been bad about eating too much/eating the wrong foods, and now I gained weight, none of my clothes fit anymore, I'm disgusted with myself, and PunkRock doesn't want me. I am bad, bad, bad and this is so depressing. [meanwhile, when it comes to other areas of your life, you know you're awesome, but this issue depresses you]

I am going to be good and go on a diet so that PunkRock wants me again and someday I'll fit back into my clothes. But not just yet because I can't be good when I'm supposed to be having fun with DK. Being good and dieting is too much work, too stressful, and I don't want to be a bummer and let dieting get in my way of enjoying what should be special and meaningful times with DK. I hate having to do this and wish I never let myself get this fat!"​

Might I lovingly suggest that, when you get into this self-loathing spiral of thoughts, you might turn around the things you tell yourself into something more loving?

It might be better to start with where you are now and forget about how you got here. In other words, if thoughts like, "Look at how fat I let myself get" come up, don't go there and just say, "This is how much I weigh today. I'd like to get to __ by end of summer."

Because, really, this moment is all we ever really have, so dwelling on how we "fucked up" in the past will get us nowhere and only disregards where we are today. The fact is you are a beautiful person with three men who love you, a loving family, many friends, you're interesting, smart, and like to stay active. You come up with all sorts of things for you and your loved ones to do. I think you can incorporate taking care of yourself and eating more healthfully into your life as easily as you do everything else (I know it doesn't seem easy all the time, but you always manage to fit so much into your days! You are so capable and amazing!).

And then start small with attainable goals, like, "I will include vegetables with every meal" or "I will have one serving only" or "I'll skip having sweets this week, except for one special night" or "Today I will drink only water all day and no diet drinks." Give yourself small tasks to succeed at, instead of this large, looming "I have to lose 20 lbs so people love being with me again." If you want online buddies to do certain goals with, reach out. I really enjoyed the time I joined some online group to go 30 days without diet soda. We checked in with each other often and encouraged everyone. It was fun and that little bit of competitiveness made me want to succeed. I'll do something with you!

If you make the overall goal to feel healthier or to have more energy, rather than about your appearance and "getting rid of" the bad, bad fat, you would find ways to make it fun. You squeeze in so many things in a day, you could probably be able to do the sorts of exercise you enjoy. It's as simple as a walk around the block each morning or after dinner (I healed a back injury that way, years ago!), increasing the distance little by little. While you're out, don't think about losing weight - listen to the birds, look at the trees or flowers, look in the neighbors' windows, just be present. You could get a Fitbit or step counter and try to log in as many steps a day as possible, a little more each day - make it a contest with yourself and have fun with it. For myself, I've found it's best to approach weight loss as a project to work on with attainable goals to reach, just like you do with your finances, rather than an issue that makes you either good or bad depending on how well you behave.

I hope I'm not totallly off-base here and you find something helpful in my words.
 
Last edited:
nycindie said:
Give yourself small tasks to succeed at, instead of this large, looming "I have to lose 20 lbs so people love being with me again." If you want online buddies to do certain goals with, reach out. I really enjoyed the time I joined some online group to go 30 days without diet soda. We checked in with each other often and encouraged everyone. It was fun and that little bit of competitiveness made me want to succeed. I'll do something with you!
Click to expand...

I am also working on trying to lose some weight—about 15 lbs. or so at the moment. I was really good in the fall, but man, the move really did me in and I gained back everything I lost plus some. We could start a group "small daily weight loss habits" blog here and check in with each other for progress and encouragement. I would totally be down for that.
 
Sorry if this is turning your blog into a weight-loss thread... but I know everyone kind of has a system that works for them, but I know calorie counting never worked for me. I'd do it for a bit and then get tired of it. Or even when I did I just didn't seem to lose weight like I should. Eventually I realize that my body just sucks at carbs. Eating the same number of calories but high protein and low carb is much different for me than if I ate a carb heavy diet. Plus I still get to eat sooooo many yummy foods that I love because I really don't worry about fat content. So yes to cheese, meat, nuts, and even fruits (not too many though) and veggies. As long as I stay away from pasta, grains, and super sugary stuff I do alright. But yeah, having a crazy strict diet with calorie counting and stuff is very time consuming and I can see how that would be super stressful! I think what the others have said about maybe just setting some smaller goals and sort of easing into healthier eating might make it so that "dieting" doesn't drive you crazy!

Ok, I'm done with the diet talk. In regards to everything else, yay for being productive and getting some super cleaning done! I could stand to do a little super cleaning myself!
 
I'm sad to read that you are feeling so down about your appearance.

You are a beautiful woman. Plus - no wonder you've put on weight. Lots of fun and love and caring in your life - and all the eating out and food gifts that go along with those things.

I've always been a bit overweight. Could lose between 25 - 30 pounds to get slim. It's unlikely to happen. I have a happy life in a society with no shortage of food and I have plenty of money. Lots of my social time is spent eating - and I love to drink wine too.

My body brings me an enormous amount of pleasure - whether its from good food and wine, sex or exercise. It doesn't need to look a particular way to bring me pleasure and to work well.

I'm fit and healthy enough. I could stick my trainers on right now, go outside and run for 7 miles without it being an issue for me. :D I need to keep an eye on my blood pressure because of my family history but its fine just now.

In short, I feel as if there is no need to be slim. Maybe seeking to lose weight would bring me some benefit. However, from watching my friends who do diet, I suspect that in the long term what it would bring me is more weight, lots of stress and lots of feeling bad about myself. I notice that the pattern tends to be for them to diet and lose some weight successfully, feel good about themselves, relax and then put it all back on again. Then they feel bad and beat themselves up for it. No thanks to all of that.

You are a beautiful woman, Bluebird and I hope you can find a way to get back to enjoying your body again.
 
Awww thanks everyone! Unfortunately, I have a medical condition - no, REALLY - so cardio exercise is a big no-no for me. I can do it, but there will be repercussions. So generally, the only way I can be successful at weight loss is through calorie counting. Honestly, once I do it, my body responds fairly well. But it is such a huge drag. And I am so undisciplined. Seriously, I need to work at being good. However, when I am focused on it, I can do it. I just have to get into the right mindset.

I would totally join a weight loss blog thread. :) I use MyFitnessPal to log my numbers.
 
NYCindie - just saw your first post - somehow I missed it, prolly because on my screen, I had jumped to another page. Thank you for your encouragement. I do get caught up in a spiral sometimes. Thankfully it doesn't usually last too long.

Gah! I was going to write a big long entry but I have to sign off.
 
I had an interesting night with WarMan last night - we had a sort of fight. I was really upset over the fact that he had failed to ask Monkey and her husband (and grown son) over to help him move this coming Saturday. He told me I was pressuring him to talk about it and that made him unhappy. I was like, "huh?" These are people he has helped move on numerous occasions and he has always called them his family. They know he's had back surgery and suffers from the limitations of that. Why wouldn't he ask them to help? He told me that he brought it up kind of casually and they immediately started hemming and hawing and that he'd "rather sever my spine trying to move things then beg them for help."

This made me really mad. I want WarMan to have more care for himself - to love himself as much as I do. To risk injuring himself - it makes zero sense to me. I tried to let it go, but it really made me upset. DarkKnight and my daughter are going to come over to do the heavy lifting and I am hoping that will be enough.

I was also not happy because I was leaving the next day (today) for the week on my train trip with DarkKnight, and so I wouldn't be seeing WarMan all week. Then when I get home, he's moving in Saturday, and then Easter is Sunday. I started talking to him about when I would see him, and about the holiday, and he said that he didn't want to upset Monkey by seeing if she would be ok with him having Easter dinner with my family, because Sunday is always her evening. Right after saying he wouldn't beg her to help him move, he can't upset her? Ugh.

Anyway, I just told him that as always, he was free to schedule however and whenever he'd like, but this is what my plans were, and just to let me know if he wants time on my calendar.

Things were pretty shitty, just thinking about the holiday - my daughter is all grown at 18 now, and my other two children are out of the house. We aren't Christian, so I am unsure what to even do for Easter, to be honest. I figured I'd make a big ham dinner and decorate the table pretty. No more hiding eggs and baskets - it feels like my life is suddenly changing and it's so very weird and sad and mixed up. I thought about maybe doing a brunch instead - like ham and eggs, so WarMan could attend since he'd be home until the evening but then later I got mad again and just thought I'd do what I'd like. But then I calmed down and decided that wasn't very generous or kind and it serves zero purpose. Especially since all I feel like doing for Easter is crying because my children are all grown and are leaving me. So right now I don't know what I am doing.

Yeah, my period is due right now.

However, things are ok with WarMan and I. He is on track to move in Saturday. Right now I am researching air purifiers. His cat allergy is going to be a bitch to manage. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help with those? We have FIVE CATS. His office and his bedroom will be upstairs on one side of the house, and the cats will not be allowed in these rooms. I took out everything and shampooed all the carpets.The master bed was used by cats, but the mattress cover has been sanitized (it's supposed to block dander) and the mattress was vacuumed thoroughly just in case before it was covered again. I took down the cheap plastic blinds and washed them in the shower and the curtains were replaced.

I want to get a small air purifier to put on his desk in his office, and get a larger room purifier for the bedroom - ideally order one so it arrives prior to his move-in so we can get it set up and have it run for over 24 hours, before he moves in. Any recommendations on a particular brand? I also want to get one for the living room and game room, which are common areas.

So yeah, recommendations on this are really wanted.

I will write about my train trip with DarkKnight later.
 
It is possible to get allergy shots. You have to see an allergy specialist and get a shot once a month I think and they help you build immunity. The idea is to eventually not need them.
I am not sure the over-the-counter stuff is a good idea for long term.
 
I would think that brushing the cats regularly and vacuuming frequently would be a huge help. The not allowing cats in his spaces is definitely good. Unfortunately every cat produces a different level of dander and some are just worse than others!

I know you guys love cats, but in the future, maybe it's worth limiting yourselves to a lesser number of cats given the allergy situation? Or in a future house there could be a fat-free floor even, like the basement level?

I'm afraid I don't have any better ideas than that 😕
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top