Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

I've been working on writing this on and off all day. I think I like it enough to stop now.

Goodbye Daddy

I am partially untethered.
Everything is off
And not quite right.
A balloon full of secrets
Bobs in the wind
Above the world.

There's just this
Thin barrier - between -
Myself and the [insert noun here].
I'm not very strong - but -
I can bend and twist
In the words.

If I must.

Now, however, there's only one line
To peg me to the earth.
If it were cut - and it will be someday -
There will be nothing holding me back.


[sunshine] [starshine] [monster] [morning]

 

[A2Poly]

OMG why am I awake at 1 am?!?!?!

Because you had a busy emotional day? The anniversary of my dad's death is in November, it's over 3 years now, and it's still crazy emotional that day (and on his bday too) and I try to avoid doing anything strenuous on those days.

 

[Bluebird]

Sigh. Probably. I gave up a little after 3:30 am and woke up PunkRock, looking to get laid. He obliged and left for work shortly thereafter, but I am still wide awake. I answered an email I received from a disconnected relative on Ancestry.com, looked at my budget and then decided to upload new photos to my albums here, since I hadn't in a while. So enjoy those, Internet strangers.

 

[playfulgirl]

Many hugs bluebird. Grieving is always hard and it smacks you around when you least expect. It's 28 years since my dad died and many years I still struggle around the anniversary. It'll never go away totally, but you are managing well and you are surrounded by many people who love and support you

 

[Bluebird]

It's definitely something that is effecting me more than I expected.

But look, I'm smiling!

Yesterday was my Valentine's Day celebration with PunkRock. It was amazing. First off, he showed up home from work with a bouquet of really pretty flowers. The guys are always great about buying me flowers on their respective paydays, but I told them all to NOT spend the money this week, since prices are so inflated for the holiday. He ignored me though, and brought some home anyway. I chided him, but he took it in stride and wasn't deterred.

Loobaloo is a pet name we call each other - what's funny is that he had to write on the heart with a huge stick of sidewalk chalk. So he did pretty good, I think! Lol

Anyway, we left soon after for our second solo float sessions at the spa. I have to say I enjoyed myself, but a little less so. I closed the lid all the way again, and went with being in pitch black darkness as well. I definitely was able to stabilize myself and stop drifting much sooner this time. However, right off the bat I got some of the salt in my eyes and had to pop the top and get out to rinse my face. So that kinda sucked. The good thing was that it was really early on, so I was able to get back in and center myself again. Rather than feel transcendence though, I had a different experience. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't amazing either. The hour seemed over MUCH MUCH sooner too. I am going to go again, but probably not until the end of March. PunkRock said this float session was better for him from the first and he wants to go again too. Anyway, I think it was a great activity for our date.

Haha though, do people actually consider sensory deprivation tanks a good date activity? I guess we do! Heh.

After floating, we returned home so I could shave (you aren't supposed to do that prior to floating) and to put on my new clothes.

What was neat was that PunkRock changed too, and was wearing his purple dress shirt, so we were matchy-matchy completely not on purpose. We had both also put on some of our wedding jewelry - he had his abalone ear spacers and I had on a couple of the bracelets I had made for the ceremony. So that was neat. Especially since I was reminded today that he and I are still newlyweds! Honestly, I have been thinking we've been married longer than we actually have!

We then proceeded to dinner at the Mango Grill, which is an Indian/Thai restaurant that gets awesome reviews in our town, but we'd never gone there before. It was amazing! Both of us stuck to Indian food and we started out with two different appetizers - Onion Bhaji, which are little morsels they describe as onion fritters, and a selection of kebabs. We also ordered some paneer - a type of cheesy naan - and then of course rice and our entrees. He had Lamb Rogan Josh and I had Chicken Tikka Marsala. Seriously it was the best I'd ever eaten. I am actually really worried now because I want to eat here every day! The prices were really great and the service was terrific too. I think we've found a new favorite place!

After dinner we went to two different stores. The first was the local sex shop, where we were trying to find me a new vibrator. We didn't end up buying anything there because the prices were high and nothing looked good. On the way out, we saw butt plugs with these terrible-looking tails attached, and we started joking around about me getting a tail. I actually need a new plug, and the idea seemed fun, so when we got back home later, we did some searches online. I don't want a metal butt plug though, so we didn't have much luck. I hope to be able to find one soon though!

The second place we went to was a shoe store to look for new work boots for PunkRock, which is more of a housekeeping sort of thing, but we had time so we decided to stop. Again, we left empty handed due to offerings not meeting specifications.

At that point I was feeling less full of dinner, so we swung by Dairy Queen. I had a vanilla malt and PunkRock ordered a brownie sundae. Yummy!

We went back home after that, and since it was a little after 9 pm, we changed into pajamas and cuddled up on the couch. We watched Coming to America together, since I thought it was funny when I saw it back when it came out (I was 10) and he had never seen it. Sigh. 2 hours of going, wtf were we thinking?! Lol I told PunkRock after, that this was NOT going to be a new Valentine's tradition!

I had so much fun with my husband tonight - I felt really connected with him and things felt comfortable and normalized, which I have really been wanting lately. Our date night was, well, awesomesauce.

Ooh! Edited to add - I made reservations yesterday morning to get a couples massage with PunkRock while on vacation next month at Great Wolf Lodge! We did this while there last year and we both decided it was worth it to definitely do it again. So, I am excited!!!

 

[Bluebird]

Well, Saturday started out pretty sucky! My husband DarkKnight dropped our daughter off at a driver's ed class and got a screw stuck in the tire, and when he slapped on the donut, it was flat as well. My son and PunkRock were both at work, so DarkKnight had to hang out for a while until WarMan could make it over to rescue him. A friend picked up my daughter, so in the end, it was all good.

So! Last night was my Valentine's Day with WarMan. First off, check out my sweet new graphic-print dress! I love it so much - wrap dresses always give me amazing cleavage!

Anyway, WarMan and I spent the day sleeping after sexy times and then waking up to head back over to Hagerstown for a couple's painting party. It was Valentine's Day themed - everyone got a long stemmed red rose, a bag full of Zoe's chocolate and coupons to the Fine Arts Company store. All of the art supplies were provided, and an instructor took us step-by-step on how to create the art. Here is the "inspiration" piece:

Basically, WarMan and I both painted our own individual canvases, and then at the end, we're supposed to hang them together. Sounds sweet, right? Well, we decided we both like autumn best and didn't want pink leaves. So, we painted ours to show that. Only, I may have drunk up an entire bottle of Apothic Red wine by myself. So, though I added my foster kitten, Cole Porter, into my painting, I left out the female figure and didn't realize until this morning that a big part of the fall is all of the leaves on the GROUND.

So, we are going to have to add some leaves in this morning!

Seriously though, I drank way too much. I remember leaving the painting party, peeing myself in the parking lot (I laugh a lot when drunk, and pee is a side effect of that) and then heading to dinner at La Tolteca. WarMan had made us reservations at the restaurant where we had our first date! He told me earlier - "I first met you at the game store, but La Tolteca is where I decided I was going to keep you."

Unfortunately, I was pretty trashed so I remember ordering fajitas, but everything after that is sort of fuzzy. Sigh. It apparently was a good night though - WarMan brought me back to his house safe and sound, and hey! I woke up this morning without a hangover. Still, I am bummed I drank so much - I don't often do that, but I am assured I am just as loved.

So happy to have this guy in my life!

 

[Magdlyn]

Haha, naughty girl! The paintings came out well. Since there are so many leaves on your trees, it must be early fall, and you only need a few leaves on the ground. What a romantic idea for a date. You'll have those paintings forever!

 

[Bluebird]

Happy Valentimes everyone! Tonight was my date night with DarkKnight and it was totally amazeballs!

First off, he had an early evening performance with the choral group he sings with, so I went and watched the show. Here we are, with him rockin' his red bow tie and tux:

After the show, we had pre-ordered subs from Hartle's, so we picked those up and went home to relax with an indoor picnic in our living room. We covered our ottoman and turned on the fireplace via Netflix. This was funny, because we actually have a working wood-burning fireplace, but we both decided we wanted to cuddle on the couch instead!

After eating, we relaxed with chai and some raw chocolate, and made reservations together for our 10th wedding anniversary trip! We're leaving March 20th for a train trip to Atlanta, Georgia. We're going to travel overnight in a sleeper car - there and back - and then spend a few days seeing the sights. We reserved a hotel downtown and bought tickets to the Georgia Aquarium, which is the largest in the US. We paid extra for a "penguin encounter" so hopefully I can stash one of the little suckers in a backpack. Anyway, it was so exciting to plan out our trip together and pay for it all, finally!

DarkKnight had pre-purchased tickets for us to go see Deadpool later on this evening, so we braved the freezing temperatures to head to the local theater for the show in VIP seating. We shared popcorn and soda, and snugged up as we watched the most romantic movie EVER.

And here I am in my new outfit, so my posts have some continuity. lol

 

[PinkPig]

Oh, wow, Bluebird. Your valentine's weekend sounds amazing!! Your guys are all so cute! Love DarkKnight in a tux I'm glad you had an awesome weekend despite the sucky Saturday morning. You looked super cute in all your new clothes.

Lol on the penguin

 

[Bluebird]

It was a blast, for sure. My guys are so great. I am definitely anti-presents but I don't mind doing activities together though! That said, the painting party came with great coupons, so I let WarMan buy me a chocolate bar, my favorite tea and these:

I myself couldn't resist these terrific mugs - when walking by the display, they just looked normal, but when I stopped for a closer look - holy crap! I bought two! Here are a couple pics of the pattern:

Amazing, right?!

And lest you think PunkRock was the only one who couldn't follow directions, both WarMan and DarkKnight also bought me flowers.

Today I woke up sleepy, but since I had stuff I needed to get done, I rolled out of bed at a decent time. I was supposed to be meeting PunkRock on his lunch break at 10 am. I sent him a message saying I couldn't wait to see him, and then a second later my phone was ringing: PunkRock's manager was calling because PunkRock was in the ER! At that same moment, PunkRock messaged me back to tell me the same thing. Gah!

Apparently he was moving tile from a high shelf and there was a broken piece in the center of the stack. It slid down and sliced open his wrist. Like, really, really deep. The hole was gnarly as fuck. Anyway, he lost a TON of blood and left a lasting mark on several of his co-workers brains - they're saying his injury and the resulting sprays of blood pushed them to their limits. He is proud of this. Lol Anyway, when I got to the hospital, he had been transported via ambulance and he was back in a niche waiting to get stitches. He was still covered in blood - his hands had thick dark red stripes - and he was sort of in and out of it a little bit.

He's all ok now though. They numbed everything and took an X-ray to be sure there were no pieces of tile in the wound and then they stitched him all up. His tendons and ligaments all seem to be ok. This was his left hand, but still, damage would suck since he paints miniatures! I took him out for pizza after we picked up some pain medicine. He's going to nap now. He needs some sleep! Poor guy.

I sure do love him.

 

[kdt26417]

Glad he didn't get hurt too severely.

 

[YouAreHere]

Holy crap! Glad he's going to be all right!
(And yes, milking it for all it's worth with his colleagues can be a bit fun for a while... )

Glad you had a nice Valentine's Day, even with all the emotions floating around with respect to your dad. Those mugs are freakin' FABOO!

 

[Reverie]

Those mugs are awesome! Are they stamped with a brand? I'd love to order some.

 

[Bluebird]

It's called Calamity Ware. They have a website.

 

[Reverie]

Awesome, thanks!

 

[StanleyWard]

Today is a wonderful morning! I am filled with joy at the thought of spending the afternoon and all night with M, as well as a good portion of the day tomorrow. I really just wanna grab him and kiss him - oh NRE! It feels so exhilarating! My heart is so happy. Squeeee!

I think tonight is going to be so sensually torturous, being close but not as close as we'd like to be. I think a lot of the reason I am so wound up is because sex is completely off the table for us right now. It feels fun, in a way. I am not normally a patient person, but for some reason (NRE!!) I am not annoyed by having to wait to fuck M silly.

Nice to hear this......

 

[Magdlyn]

Wow, how scary for PunkRock! Yikes! I am glad he got good care.

I agree, those mugs are a hilarious take on Blue Willow, lol. You had a great Valentines weekend with your guys, activities and presents galore!

 

[starlight1]

So glad to hear punk rock is ok that's really scary stuff! I hope he mends up soon and it doesn't affect his life too much (including miniatures).

 

[Bluebird]

So far, so good! He actually painted some last night and seemed to be fine. The medicine he is taking for pain seems to be doing ok too, and I hope that continues.

Last night was kind of meh. It was supposed to be a date night with WarMan, and I was missing him fiercely. Unfortunately, the weather was not cooperating. He drove halfway to my house and then had to turn around because the roads were so slippery and treacherous. I was really bummed out, and so was he. I had bought some chocolate covered strawberries too! I ended up curled up on the couch with my Ghostbuster kitty Milton. (He's gotten so big! Especially when compared to ColePorter!) DarkKnight came and sat by me for a while, so that was nice.

I had a sleepover with PunkRock. No sexy times on account of his injury, and the fact that I felt sad for missing WarMan and well, I was blech because I hadn't showered or shaved and that's just gross! PunkRock promised me a good time this morning and I am super excited because a present he bought me arrived yesterday - yes, he got me a cat tail! It's long and bendy and looks like it will be ever so much fun. It's attached to a black butt plug. I have never done any sort of kitten play, and neither has he. I am still not sure how it will work out, but I'm up for trying new things.

But yeah - last night. The roads were so very shitty. Sigh. Actually, I canceled my Chemistry class today and rescheduled it for later in the week. It's still just too terrible out there. I am hoping it does get better though, because my son has to drive to work and then he has an apartment he is going to go look at. I want to go with him but if it's crappy weather, I probably won't. He has several appointments this week, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that he finds someplace that works well for him. Rental prices here are fairly high, but not impossible. The one he is seeing today is the cheapest on his list.

Thanks for posting StanleyWard! I'm glad you liked hearing about the buildup to my overnight with M, but that was over 3 years ago. Lol He and I haven't been together in quite a while!

 

[Bluebird]

Today is going to be cray cray, but yesterday was pretty sweet.

I woke up yesterday with PunkRock curled up on me - he is like, seriously, the best big spoon ever. We showered and tried out our new kitty cat butt plug tail thing. It wasn't too big for me at all, but the tail is super long and bendy, and when moving around, the plug would rotate and the tail would too. Kind of a bummer. PunkRock thinks if I stood up and wore it that way it would work much better, but if I'm having sex, I'm not normally standing! Maybe we'll just use it for foreplay stuff. Anyway, it was fun to try out something new, and after we pulled out the tail, PunkRock gave me some good anal. It was a great morning.

We went to lunch together, and then he was off to a doctor appointment and a therapy appointment. He is now going to see a specialist about getting a vasectomy, so that is good news. Not that I am worried about getting pregnant by him, but it will be nice to not even have to worry about it as a possibility.

As far as his therapy goes, he's been a few times now and has another session lined up. He told me that his counselor said he can step down to seeing her about once a month, and so he is going to probably do that. He feels like he is back in a good mindset. It makes me really nervous, but I am not sure what else he could be doing to rebuild trust with me, so we will continue on as we are now. Which really, is madly in love. I just want him to be healthy.

In the evening, DarkKnight played hooky from his choral group rehearsal and the 3 of us decided to go play some WarMachine. WarMan came too, so it was so great to be out with all of my guys! PunkRock is in charge of matching up the games in the campaign league, and he put me and WarMan together last night, since we had missed our date night on Monday. He was like, hey, you didn't get to see him, so I think this will work. That was really sweet, I thought. I didn't show mercy though, and won my game against WarMan. It was a neat scenario where we each had to protect a random character/unit.

After our game, DarkKnight and PunkRock were still playing and so WarMan & I were able to sit and snuggle and talk a little bit. Right now I am feeling some stress from two points - #1 being my son moving out, #2 being WarMan moving in.

My son is almost 27 and he has only attempted living independently once, and it failed due to his inability to manage money and his hoarding tendencies. I am his rep payee for his disability money now, so his important bills get paid, and that isn't going to change as long as we move him nearby to where we end up. He's looking right now in town. Unfortunately, the average price for a 1 bedroom apartment in our city is around $650-$700 plus utilities. He pays $500 all inclusive right now. So, he is going to take a hit financially when he moves out. We're looking carefully for anything under that average price, but so far they have all been shithouses. He has some more appointments scheduled later on this week and I hope they pan out. as far as his hoarding goes, I am going to hire someone to come clean for him once a week once he is out on his own. We all know he can't manage this on his own - he can't even manage it here. So, rather than have to worry about him getting evicted due to unsanitary living conditions, I'm just going to pay someone. Or rather, have him pay someone.

So yeah, this happening is stressful.

The other thing with WarMan - he says he wants to move in, but he is very concerned with it ruining our relationship. Like, I will suddenly discover all these things about him that I don't know now? That's what he says anyway. He also says it is going to happen because he wants to be with me, but I'm anxious. Sometimes I think that the stress on me from him not being decisive is worse than anything could be if we were living under the same roof.

I've decided to pretty much tune all that out and just concentrate on the issues with my son for now. He has until April 1 to move out (a deadline we collectively set for him) and hopefully it will happen in a very positive way, with a smooth transition. If one of the places he is seeing this week works out, he could be moved by March 1. We'll see!

So, that brings us to today! I'm supposed to be hosting a makeup chemistry lab for one of my students today, but so far she is a no-show. I have a dental appointment for my Invisalign retainer at 11:40 and then I have to get my daughter to her last therapy appointment by 1 pm. She is glad to be finished, but I honestly believe she could use more sessions, but as she is refusing to really make any progress, then it's on her. She's 18 now and can make her own choices. I told her it's free under her insurance now, so this means she'll be paying out of pocket later in life. *shrugs*

Anyway, after her therapy, the two of us are going to go donate blood together. She has never done that before, but she has grown up seeing all of the adults in her life do it regularly. So, it will be fun to share that first with her!

I'm not sure what the plans are yet for tonight. I have a sleepover scheduled with WarMan, but Monkey has been sick, so their "date night" might be canceled. Since I am sorta free tonight, that means I will get to pop over and see him early. if she feels better though, I have a couple of things I may or may not do - XWing Miniatures night is tonight and I haven't been to that in ages. Or, I can do some trivia. We'll see, I guess!