I'm FWB with an amazing woman who is poly. One of her partners is my (female) best friend. My best friend and I are strictly platonic. She runs a spiritual group I'm a part time member of, and my FWB is a member of. I became FWB with her girlfriend I think fairly soon after their relationship started. Last night my bestie said I couldn't meet with the group as she wasn't ready. Now I'm not about to snog someone's gf in her own house, but it makes me a bit sad we can't be in the same place at the same time. I'm not talking dating. Individually, my friendship with my bestie and my FWB are very good. I agreed not to go into gory details with my friend about her gf, but I get this sense of reluctance from her not to talk about her GF at all. My FWB has become a very important part of my life, I had to struggle with limerence and accept the relationship on its own terms. But I'm mostly there and she makes me very happy. I just wish I could share some of that with my friend.
FWB is poly with Bestie
- Thread starter TelMD
- Start date
Hi TelMD,
So I'm somewhat confused about the details of the situation, for instance do you, FWB, and bestie all three live in separate domiciles? or do FWB and bestie live together? or do you and bestie live together?
I take it you are feeling somewhat down because bestie doesn't want to hear about your relationship with FWB? If so, you might need to make peace with that, it might be triggery for bestie and maybe she's unable to overcome that?
Sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
So I'm somewhat confused about the details of the situation, for instance do you, FWB, and bestie all three live in separate domiciles? or do FWB and bestie live together? or do you and bestie live together?
I take it you are feeling somewhat down because bestie doesn't want to hear about your relationship with FWB? If so, you might need to make peace with that, it might be triggery for bestie and maybe she's unable to overcome that?
Sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
FWB partnered to my friend
Yes we all live separately. My FWB is separated and lives with her ex, and I live with my ex too though for not much longer. My friend lives alone with her son. Yes I do feel down because I can't talk much about her gf with her. Plus I can't see them together (there's a big F for my FWB). You're right I think she finds it a bit triggery.
Yes we all live separately. My FWB is separated and lives with her ex, and I live with my ex too though for not much longer. My friend lives alone with her son. Yes I do feel down because I can't talk much about her gf with her. Plus I can't see them together (there's a big F for my FWB). You're right I think she finds it a bit triggery.
vinsanity0
Active member
I understand where bestie is coming from. I don't particularly care to have close relationships with my metas. Also, for me, a best friend is someone we can talk to about things going on with our life, freely and without judgement. Now you can't do that because FWB is bestie's GF.
It's a tough situation for sure. Hopefully bestie will come around. Some people have boundaries regarding dating people within a close circle of friends for a reason though.
It's a tough situation for sure. Hopefully bestie will come around. Some people have boundaries regarding dating people within a close circle of friends for a reason though.
Vinsanity0, yeah I do hope she'll come round. I have a feeling this is her first poly relationship, or at least for a while. Things would have been a lot simpler if my FWB wasn't with my friend, but I do want the best for them. We kinda broke the ever loving fuck out of the rule on dating in a close circle of friends lol.
JaneQSmythe
Well-known member
As in introvert, the only people I am likely to meet are within our circle of friends - I don't like meeting strangers - so this "rule" wouldn't work for me/us.
My BFF is FWB with a friend/FW-limitedB of mine. I was uncomfortable with them seeing each other at first (because my now-BFF didn't know the whole deal about me and I don't like to ask a friend to keep secrets from an SO). I decided that it was really NONE of my business, and it has worked out fine (to be fair: I am the one that IDs as poly while both of them are looking for Ms/Mr-Mono-Right).