I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing. My condolences. I'm also sorry to hear of all this "up and down" stuff with Eli-- most disheartening. That's a lot of things to be grieving.
I hope you are able to get some rest, have some down time, and get a good counselor. Then later as grief begins to lift, I hope you are able enter a new chapter in the way you wish.
I am still trying to make sense of it. I am not quite understanding it myself.
On a positive note, Eli seems determined to work on things with me and sent me the most tender, loving card, explaining his feelings and repeating his dedication to remaining in a relationship with me, whatever form it takes. It was very sweet and I feel a lot better.
Aww, I'm glad he's recognized your upset and sent you something reassuring. An actual card! That's nice in this day and age. I hope you two can come to an understanding.
I think it would be easy to repair our miscommunication and figure out our future... if he hadn't already met Zia and moved her into his house.
I am going to try to be very parallel poly about her. No need to hear about her or discuss her.
For now, Eli is going to visit me at my house and I won't go to his house (except to move out my stuff when Zia is away next week). Not sure what I'll do about my job, other than make the long commute to campus when I need to go in. I have friends I can stay overnight with near my job if I need to.
Meera, you’ve been through the wringer — multiple wringers. It sounds like you know this, but in case you don’t think of it often: Go easy on you. This is a LOT and it’s not like it’s your fault or you deserve it because you didn’t communicate expertly and plan for all potential roadbumps. We may be the old, stable poly folks, but of course no one’s life is perfectly structured and smoothly evolving.
I’m so sorry about your dad (relief noted, but it’s always so much to say goodbye to a parent in your life). Do seek comfort and care where you can.
Keep defining and refining what you want your life to look like. I really appreciate your voice. (((Hugs)))
