I'm very new to the polyamory life. I just found out there was a word for it, and have been on the computer for 2 days reading everything I can find. Nothing I have found is close to what is going on in my life. I can't be the only one with this kind of issue.
Here's my story. I have been married to Jaden for 14 years. We have 2 wonderful children, 13 and 10. I started massage school last Aug and met a girl (Dawn). We were just friends until one drunken Feb night. My husband caught us, and like many men would, he asked if he could join. This is my first bisexual relationship, even though I have always been attracted to women.
Things have been going great. She even went with us on our family vacation. The kids love her, and her spending the night and being around all the time doesn't seem to bother them a bit. They even ask if she coming over. We have never told the kids what kind of relationship it is.
Here's the kicker: we now have to explain to them the nature of our relationship and that Dawn is pregnant. We have talked about how we plan to raise the baby, that all three of us are going to be equal parents.
At this time, she is not going to move in, but get an apartment close to us. We have all agreed that we moved really fast in the beginning, that we need to take a step back and slow it down for the kids and everyone's feelings. I'm still working through some jealousy issues because Jaden was just mine for so long, even though I love seeing them together and couldn't bear to lose her. She a great person and I love her.
I think my 10-yr daughter will be fine with it. My son, on the other hand-- I'm not sure how to go about it with him to make him understand that Jaden isn't cheating and to not lose his respect. He is a very different and complex child, not at all like other boys.
We are also having problems with Dawn's mom. She doesn't understand or accept that it is all of us, that Dawn is not just sleeping with a married man. I think she needs to be more straightforward and completely honest with her mom. She has never told her the complete truth. Her mom thinks that it is just sex and we are just going to be friends and play an active part in the baby's life. She doesn't think her mom can handle the whole truth. I've told her moms can deal with a lot more than we think, as long as we don't treat them like they're stupid.
She also plans on lying to her dad and the rest of her family. I think an entire lifetime is a long time to keep this kind of a lie, especially when the baby starts talking and talks about their other momma.
My husband and I have both told our parents, gave them the honest truth. Both sets have taken it well and understand that stuff like this happens. They still haven wrapped their head around it being a loving relationship yet. They think it's just sex. But we have told them that it is more than that. It's going to take time for then to completely understand. Right now they think we're swingers.
So you see, any advice would help.
Here's my story. I have been married to Jaden for 14 years. We have 2 wonderful children, 13 and 10. I started massage school last Aug and met a girl (Dawn). We were just friends until one drunken Feb night. My husband caught us, and like many men would, he asked if he could join. This is my first bisexual relationship, even though I have always been attracted to women.
Things have been going great. She even went with us on our family vacation. The kids love her, and her spending the night and being around all the time doesn't seem to bother them a bit. They even ask if she coming over. We have never told the kids what kind of relationship it is.
Here's the kicker: we now have to explain to them the nature of our relationship and that Dawn is pregnant. We have talked about how we plan to raise the baby, that all three of us are going to be equal parents.
At this time, she is not going to move in, but get an apartment close to us. We have all agreed that we moved really fast in the beginning, that we need to take a step back and slow it down for the kids and everyone's feelings. I'm still working through some jealousy issues because Jaden was just mine for so long, even though I love seeing them together and couldn't bear to lose her. She a great person and I love her.
I think my 10-yr daughter will be fine with it. My son, on the other hand-- I'm not sure how to go about it with him to make him understand that Jaden isn't cheating and to not lose his respect. He is a very different and complex child, not at all like other boys.
We are also having problems with Dawn's mom. She doesn't understand or accept that it is all of us, that Dawn is not just sleeping with a married man. I think she needs to be more straightforward and completely honest with her mom. She has never told her the complete truth. Her mom thinks that it is just sex and we are just going to be friends and play an active part in the baby's life. She doesn't think her mom can handle the whole truth. I've told her moms can deal with a lot more than we think, as long as we don't treat them like they're stupid.
She also plans on lying to her dad and the rest of her family. I think an entire lifetime is a long time to keep this kind of a lie, especially when the baby starts talking and talks about their other momma.
My husband and I have both told our parents, gave them the honest truth. Both sets have taken it well and understand that stuff like this happens. They still haven wrapped their head around it being a loving relationship yet. They think it's just sex. But we have told them that it is more than that. It's going to take time for then to completely understand. Right now they think we're swingers.
So you see, any advice would help.
