Greetings everyone hope all is well

[anonymousb]

Hello my name is anonymousb I am sorry but I have to maintain some discretion for now .

I do mean it when I say hope all is well with everyone here.

I am in my late 30s and I was unattached for five years. Until March of this year and therefore I am inadvertently in two maybe three poly relationships.
Because I was opening myself to all avenues of the dating and relationships realm. Because the discretion comes from the fact that since I am "young and inexperienced" with this, I did not disclose to anyone that this is the situation thus I have operated like I am going on dates. Getting to know women. And going with the flow of my dynamic with each individual person, one started off making me believe it's gonna be poly? With the sentiment of "I will meet a man someday" the other said "Yeah, you are good for now" this to me significantly made me reconcile these sentiments as we are not exclusive . Until they turned around and changed up and are now wanting long term relationships ala marrying etc . Yes I also tried to date other women , one ended up with irreconcilable differences so I ended it. Another kinda started the dynamic for us both without me getting a say , I ended up feeling so obligated that I ended up going along with the dynamic accepting a donation of a chunk of change that was deemed akin to counterfeits by my bank. Despite this I was now indebted to her. Yeah and now now out of nowhere another woman manifested that I guess I knew and forgot about. And now she is crazy for me. Oh and these ladies have been needing help and because I can no longer keep up. I ghosted all of them to avoid having to address this with them. Because I resorted to appeasement of them all due to my fear of the unknown of being unattached and facing it unattached without resorting to black vs white me vs all thinking. Now I am on top of all this, seeking to have a connection with a erotic model who is younger than me yes this is all unacceptable I am aware. But I am so new to polyamory and just kinda fell into it .

Apologies for the tldr folks, thanks to those who read this, look at the title and reply. Have a good night, day, afternoon and whatever else is on the horizon.

Anonymousb

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings anonymousb,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you have had a rough rollercoaster ride since March of this year, you tried to have an open mind about relationships, until the women you were dating turned things around on you and now you are just hoping for an erotic model who is younger than you -- yes that's what you want, you are entitled to pursue happiness in your own way. I hope Polyamory.com can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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