Greetings from NorCal

Corwallyn

New member
Hello all,

I’m James, 49, and have been married for a bit over 10 years. We have 2 kids living with us. Our 19yo knows our lifestyle. Our younger one does not. Only because he is a big talker, lol.

Due to COVID, we ended up in a state where we didn’t want to “bug” the other when I was playing games and she was listening to her podcasts or books. We lost the most important part of a good relationship, communication. It finally boiled over when she came to me talking about divorce. After much talking, we got down to the real problem. She wasn’t sure she was set out to love only 1 person. That led me to do some research and bring up the idea of her either being poly or ENM.

While she has been on her journey, I have been living the mono life trying to figure my own situation. Going back over my own past, I have looked into the poly life a few times, but never ventured in. Now, I am at the point that I feel it is my time to stop sitting on the sidelines.

I am a gamer, video and tabletop. Love RPGs when I can find a good one. Hikes and sitting by a body of water are always good. I love just about all music and believe that Blazing Saddles is a classic. Robotech and Vampire Hunter D are my jam when I need a little anime.

More later and catch you all on the other side.
 
Greetings James,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You sound like a fun person, an interesting person, you have many interests especially in games and music. I think you and your wife have reached a point where Covid has caused you to look into poly and ENM (or CNM). I hope you can find everything you need, let us know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you for the info and the greetings :)

As far as my wife and I, she always felt that she was unable to love just one person and it made her feel broken. Discovering that she may be poly/ENM opened up avenues for her and improved our communication. Lots of hard topics to go over has made us stronger.
 
Well mainstream society doesn't exactly prepare us for poly/ENM. We have to figure that out on our own. Hopefully the forum will help.
 
Hello all,

I’m James, 49, and have been married for a bit over 10 years. We have 2 kids living with us. Our 19yo knows our lifestyle. Our younger one does not. Only because he is a big talker, lol.

Due to COVID, we ended up in a state where we didn’t want to “bug” the other when I was playing games and she was listening to her podcasts or books. We lost the most important part of a good relationship, communication. It finally boiled over when she came to me talking about divorce. After much talking, we got down to the real problem. She wasn’t sure she was set out to love only 1 person. That led me to do some research and bring up the idea of her either being poly or ENM.

While she has been on her journey, I have been living the mono life trying to figure my own situation. Going back over my own past, I have looked into the poly life a few times, but never ventured in. Now, I am at the point that I feel it is my time to stop sitting on the sidelines.

I am a gamer, video and tabletop. Love RPGs when I can find a good one. Hikes and sitting by a body of water are always good. I love just about all music and believe that Blazing Saddles is a classic. Robotech and Vampire Hunter D are my jam when I need a little anime.

More later and catch you all on the other side.
Thanks for your vulnerability. To thine own heart be true. It’s up to each of us to know our hearts.

I feel if you truly know your heart is wanting this experience it will weather the storms. There will be storms. Have a group there with you to help you hold on. Be a smart captain and avoid obvious hazards (lying to oneself, not doing it for the “right” reasons - your “right” reasons, etc). Keep connecting and learning and standing on the shoulder of the giants before you.

This is very doable with awareness and true love for self and others.

Good fortune my friend.
 
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