Has anyone dealt with ASSumers?

Awkwardlywaving

New member
Marcus asked a question. Asking a question is not making an assumption, it's asking a question. The rest of his post is an empathetic identification with how online dating is problematic. If you see an assumption where there is simply a question, and claim someone is gaslighting you all they actually did was hold up a metaphorical mirror, then you are indeed presenting a volatile reaction to readers.
I will also ask you to look up the statistics I have suggested as well. This is a LEGITMATE issue that many disabled women face in society.
 

Awkwardlywaving

New member
I apologize to Marcus for the remark, he did ask a question and I responded unfairly. However I encourage every NT/Able-bodied person to educate themselves on what disabled face in every day society before they accuse said disabled woman of being "volatile."
 

Evie

Mod
It is legitimate, but the first time you mentioned it was in your reply to Inaniel. He couldn't possibly gaslight you with unknown information.
 

Awkwardlywaving

New member
It is legitimate, but the first time you mentioned it was in your reply to Inaniel. He couldn't possibly gaslight you with unknown information.
Calling a disabled woman "volatile" in response to a comment where I mentioned my social difficulties is indeed gaslighting.
 

Evie

Mod
Gaslighting is a term to describe a phenomenon that specifically happens in relationships.
 

Awkwardlywaving

New member
Gaslighting is a term to describe a phenomenon that specifically happens in relationships.
And to answer the remark about "volatile inclination" (whatever the fuck that means) I have been extremely careful with who I socialize and interact with due to the constant abuse and harassment I have experienced and suffered severe trauma because of it. I have a few partners, non-romantically speaking, who understood WHY I am protective of myself and earned my trust through their actions and not jumping to conclusions.
 

Marcus

Well-known member
Calling a disabled woman "volatile" in response to a comment where I mentioned my social difficulties is indeed gaslighting.

Google "gaslighting" real quick. That word doesn't mean what you think it means.

And to answer the remark about "volatile inclination" (whatever the fuck that means) I have been extremely careful with who I socialize and interact with due to the constant abuse and harassment I have experienced and suffered severe trauma because of it. I have a few partners, non-romantically speaking, who understood WHY I am protective of myself and earned my trust through their actions and not jumping to conclusions.

You being disabled or not, doesn't change anything about the nature of this conversation. No one but you is talking about that as far as I can tell.

It's good to have people in your life who understand your context. I hope that you treat those relationships with respect and give them room for flourishing.
 

Inaniel

Active member
Maybe you shouldn't be gaslighting disabled women for their legitimate fears of being left dead in ditches?

You said he had a fuckboy “vibe”? The term “fuckboy” isn’t typically used to describe a murder rapist so I am confused…

If you are dealing with someone who is threatening violence or harassing you, I encourage you to report the individual on the app and contact the authorities if you feel like you are in danger.
 

ref2018

Maid of All Work
Staff member
You said he had a fuckboy “vibe”? The term “fuckboy” isn’t typically used to describe a murder rapist so I am confused…

If you are dealing with someone who is threatening violence or harassing you, I encourage you to report the individual on the app and contact the authorities if you feel like you are in danger.

This topic has gone from "Why do men on dating sites assume polyamory means DTF?" (DTF = "down to fuck") to "I'm a disabled woman with PTSD, how dare you gaslight me for trying to protect myself?"
 

Evie

Mod
Except for the completely incorrect use of the term gaslighting...
 

Dagferi

Well-known member
Wow this conversation went a quick left.

If you are going to be polyamorous guess what you all going to have to deal with all different kinds of shit.

I have had my husband's "friends" proposition me for sex on the down low.

I have had strangers proposition me out of the blue in Facebook groups that have nothing to do with poly because I am not closeted and talk about both my guys.

Hell I have had men hit and proposition on me who had no idea I was poly.

All of this and more happened in real life not online dating.

If you are dating you are going to run into assholes. Poly men have a slew of issues of their own when they are dating.
 

HaloOnFire

Active member

FallenAngelina

Well-known member
Hell I have had men hit and proposition on me who had no idea I was poly.

Again, welcome to being female.

So many men try to get sex any which way they can and so many women become angry and defensive because of it. All the same, despite the horror stories and the drama, so many people find love via dating apps. That's happening, too.
 
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